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Another Old Dude From The 80's Thinks He Can Make An Adventure Game
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"Another Old Dude From The 80's Thinks He Can Make An Adventure Game" The story headline is "A Interactive Wannabe". The story description is "Proof that you can't make a Grue like the light..." The player carries a lamp. Understand "xyzzy" as a mistake ("[one of]really, xyzzy? Are you serious. I certainly didn't think you would mention that, and what's more surprising is the fact that the wretched author had the ability to code a response. Seriously, have you seen some of his descriptions? Hey buddy, hows the 4th grade goin for ya?[or]
... you just had to go there didn't you, come back to this century lil retronaut.[or]That was funny the 359th time I heard it. [or]uggh is there anything worse than an IF hipster?[at random]"). Understand "plugh" as a mistake ("[one of]A Hollow Voice says PHULE!!!.[or]Oh my we have got us a tricksy one here we do.[or]A hollow Voice says 'I do not dance like a monkey for every adventurer that passes by[or]Holy crap, the sky's light up with fireworks, you have won the game!!! Not. Seriously, the last time someone said plugh was like 1981. The Hollow Voice can't even get audiobook work these days. So keep your magic words to yourself buttnutt.[or]Cease Cretin![at random]"). The description of the player is "Well, let's put it like this, for an established adventurer as yourself, you seem in pretty goods shape, Even mentally. It will be hard staying that way while playing this drivel. A second grader is more imaginative and original. I bet [one of]you come across a maze pretty soon[or]that there will be a room you go into that is completely dark and the phrase 'You are likely to be eaten by a Grue' is uttered[or]he put a magic word like xyzzy in here thinking it's an homage to the Original Implementors[or]there is even a brass lamp in this game[or]there will be a troll somewhere down the line[at random]." When play begins, say "As you slowly spiral back toward conciousness you attempt to get your bearings. Nothing looks familiar. What happened? Where are you? As you stand in the mighty cavern, swaying with the residual disorientation. A dawning horror slowly comes over you. 'NO!!!!' your shouts of, 'Please God, NOOOOO!' echo off the glistening cave walls around you. Your protestations have fallen on deaf ears as you have found yourself in just about the worst fate that can befall an adventurer of such stature as yourself. It's true. You seem to be the main protagonist in a droll cave crawl authored by a man who grew up in the 80s and never came out of them. This ninny's idea of a good IF puzzle is saying ECHO in the loud room to get the treasure. He has no clue of the heights IF has been taken to recently (I'm looking at you Emily, Graham, and Mr. Plotkin). It seems there is no way out, you are at his mercy. You resign yourself to hours of non sense puzzles and vapid mazes. As you prepare to enter your first command, you can't help but think what a good documentary this might make. 'Someone get Jason Scott on the horn... what?, he already has? Nevermind.' You turn to the keyboard, dreading the coming nonsense magic words. You crack your knuckles and hover your fingers over the keyboard.[paragraph break]Welcome to Another Old Dude From The 80's Thinks He Can Make An Adventure Game.[paragraph break]FYI - The author would like to apologize now if Playfic frowns on publishing an unfinished game (in this case, barely STARTED). Hopefull no protocol was broken. Carry on Adventurer..." Cave area is a region. Majestic Cavern, and The Hallway of Generic Description are in cave area. The stalagtites a is a backdrop in the Cave area. "As you examine the beauty of natures persistent artistry, you awed by their physical beauty. You can not comprehend the sheer amount of time it takes these majestic decorations to form. Drip by drip, year by year. The stalagtites and stalagmites have been here thousands of years, and they will be here long after you are gone. You remember a science teacher in 8th grade who taught you a phrase to remember the difference between the two , 'Stalagtites cling TITEly to the cave ceiling and Stalagmites MITE reach from the floor to the ceiling and Stalag 13 is where Hogan and his heroes are kept prisoner." Understand "stalagtites", "stalagmites","floor", "wall", and "cave" as the stalagtites. Majestic Cavern is a room. "You are in the main entryway of the Majestic Cavern. A vague memory of a tram ride down, decending deep into the cool cavern. Stalagtites and Stalagmites grace the roof and floor. It seems the only exits are, south ahead into the caves ominous maw, or return north where you entered. Well, you could have gone north. Now there is the small matter of the giant imposing rusty gate blocking your way out of the cave. Funny, you didnt hear or see it come down." The Rusty Gate is scenery. The description is "This timeworn iron gate is firmly locked. I'm not sure if it will ever go up again. Rust covers almost every inch of the gate. In the corner, toward the bottom is a square inscription. It says 'Froboss Magic Overhead Door Coroporation. If it is good enough for a Flathead, it is good enought for you.' Est . GUE 667." [Instead of opening rusty gate say, "nope Sparky. Trust me this thing aint gonna budge."]A note is here. "A note lies cuirously impaled on a small stalagmite." After taking the note: say "You pick up the note with noticeably unsteady hands." After dropping the note: say "Dropped. Like a bad habit. Amazingly it impaled itself on the same stalagmite." The description is "You unfold the note. It says 'Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter'. Original eh? If you have stumbled into this fledgling little 'game' PLEASE do not be under the assumption that this is going to be anywhere near the ballpark of 'good'. Don't be surprised if it reaches abhored status. This is my first excercise in Inform. I am just gonna wander around in the dark, using the documentation, tips from the newsgroups and other resources to try and learn how to make a passable game. In this realm, you will not find a linear story, but more likely and mish mash (mashup as you Hipster's like to call em) of attemps at achieving a certain feature of Inform. I really dont expect anyone to be reading this, but in the incredulous event that you are, drop me a line if you want to offer some tips or just to say hello. That would be appreciated. My email is jimbgreen@gmail dot com. Thanks for taking the time to look and my little piece of inform! At the very bottom of the note, in different handwriting, its says '23! people have played this so far. Can you believe that?' Someone else has acutally seen this code. I hope they are not permanently damaged..." The Hallway of Generic Description is a room. It is south of Majestic Cavern. "As you enter this anteroom, the walls funnel down to form a natural hallway. More stalagtites and stalagmites adorn the area. The hallway continues on to the north. The only other exit is the way you came in. On the wall is a small inscription. The inscription says[paragraph break] [italic type] Hallway of Generic Description.[paragraph break] In honor of bad interactive fiction everywhere, let this hallway honor every author that described a beautiful work of nature, as The Cave.[paragraph break] [roman type]You are starting to understand. The author is going for the 'smarmy parser'. The smart alec parser is hard to pull off. And he's not off to a good start. [one of] Zork [or]Lurking Horror [or]Wishbringer [or]Infidel [or]Spellbreaker [or]Nord And Bert [or]Plundered Hearts [or]Ballyhoo [or]Planetfall [or]Hollywood Hijinx [at random] is the last time you have seen it done right.[paragraph break][if unvisited]Oh Christ! How ham-fisted is that. I bet if you did the look command again, it would say a different Infocom title. Bet it took him about 2 years figure how to code that. Ah Infocom, they were the masters."