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Dawn of Ding Dong: A... romantic experience
by
GOE
Played 1,126 times
View game source
(spoilers!)
Download the
.z8 file
Source Code
"Ding-dong" By Joshua Ruiz, Edward Lee and andrew Wang Understand “gunâ€, "shotgun", “AIRSOFT gunâ€, and “AK-47†as “[AIRSOFT gun]â€. Shooting it with is an action applying to two things. Understand "shoot [something] with [something]" as shooting it with. Check shooting it with: if the second noun is not the gun: say "[The second noun] can't be used for shooting things, you redacted." instead; if the player does not carry the AIRSOFT gun: say "You'd need to get the AIRSOFT gun if you want to do that." instead; otherwise if the noun is not a person: say "Live up to your sociopathic Juvenil status and let your redacted thoughts take over." instead; otherwise if the noun is not an animal: say "Live up to your sociopathic Juvenil status and let your redacted thoughts take over." instead; Carry out shooting it with: Say “You have shot [the noun]. He is now redacted. Hurray!â€; Remove the noun from play. Maximum score is 15. Every turn: If the score is 0: say "you have 10 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 1: say "you have 9 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 2: say "you have 8 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 3: say "you have 7 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 4: say "you have 6 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 5: say "you have 5 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 6: say "you have 4 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 7: say "you have 3 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 8: say "you have 2 points to go." Every turn: If the score is 9: say "you have 1 point to go." Every turn: If the score is greater than 9: Say "You got all of his signs, unfortunately, you also have severe balsa poisoning, but at least you died knowing you completely your life’s goal. You win!"; end the game in victory. [BaTHROOM] The Bathroom is a room. "You are almost ready to raid all the Ding-dong hotspots in your neighborhood. You plan on eating Dong signs. The cover of midnight prevents you from being seen by unwanted spectators, but little do you know that someone is observing you. a toilet, bathtub and sink surround you in this moldy room. [paragraph break] East: Living room.†The toilet is scenery in the bathroom. The description of the toilet is “It is a clogged toilet, sitting rather sadly in the corner of the humid bathroom. a rancid fog emanates from the cursed device.†Instead of drinking the toilet: say "You die. [paragraph break]Too easy. You left the dull world but it does not mean all your troubles are gone. Now more awaits on the other side, meaning Ding Dong has won."; End the game in death. The toilet is a closed openable container. In the toilet is a poop. The description of the poop is "Thanksgiving did a number on you." The poop is edible. After eating poop: say â€You are guilty about the fact you like it. (This does not affect your score, but does it affect something greater?)†The sink is scenery in the bathroom. The description of the sink is “It’s just a sink." [LIVING ROOM] The living room is east of the bathroom. The Living Room is a room. “You are now in the Living Room. There is a large TV in the middle of the living room, switched off. West: Bathroom. South: Front yard.†The TV is in the Living-Room. The TV is a device. The TV is switched off. After switching on the TV: say “You see a news interview talking about Dong’s abandonment of the liberal party, making you feel extremely irritated. You know you won’t regret taking his signs down.†The description of the TV is “It’s the TV you’ve had for years. It may be old, but boy does it carry memories. Perhaps turn it on?†There is a laptop located in the living room. The description of the laptop is “This is a delicious apple device.†The laptop is edible. After eating laptop: say “This apple tastes funny, you get one point for satisfying your hunger.†[FRONT YaRD] The front yard is south of the living room. “Ah, your front yard. The usual nocturnal raccoon or occasional moth viewing is interrupted by the very presence of a hideous sign, belonging to Ding-Dong himself. It looks tasty though![paragraph break] North: living room East: garage. South: playground. West: neighbour’s house.†The raccoon is an animal in the front yard. Dong sign 1 is in the front yard. The dong sign 1 is edible. After eating dong sign 1: say “that’s a delicious piece of balsa.â€; Award 1 point. Description of dong sign 1 is “a tasty piece of evilness.†[NEIGHBOUR’S HOUSE] The neighbour’s door is a closed locked door. The neighbour's door is west of the front yard. The description of the neighbour’s door is “It’s a locked door. That saw in your garage would be handy in unlocking it though.†The saw unlocks the neighbour’s door. After unlocking the neighbour’s door with saw: Say “The door lock is as soft as Ding Dong himself. Your saw got through it no problem.†The neighbour’s house is a room. The neighbour’s house is west of the neighbour’s door. “This house looks pretty chill. After all, who sets the thermostat to negative 100 C in the winter anyways. There is a evil sign of dong in this house for you to eat, as well as a cup of milk and cookies labeled 'for Dong' on the fireplace. East: front yard.†The dong sign 10 is in the neighbour’s house. The fireplace is in the neighbour’s house. The milk is on the fireplace. The cookies is on the fireplace. The dong sign 10 is edible. After eating dong sign 10: say “HOHOHO! You feel just like Santa now, eating Ding Dong's paid for signs, and breaking into houses.â€; Award 1 point. The cookies are edible. After eating cookies: Say “They taste just like the cyanide pills your babysitter used to feed to you. You die knowing you have not beaten Dong.â€; end the game in death. Instead of drinking milk: Say “It tastes just like the cyanide pills your babysitter used to feed to you. You die knowing you have not beaten Dong.â€; end the game in death. [GaRaGE] The garage is east of the front yard. The garage is a room. “Ahh, Dad’s workplace. There should be some tools lying around somewhere. There lies a workbench nearby. [paragraph break] West: front yard.†The car is in the garage. The description of the car is “Honk Honk! The noise lingers deep within your cranium.†The workbench is in the garage. The workbench is a closed openable container. In the workbench is a saw and a AIRSOFT gun. The description of the saw is “Use it to ‘unlock’ those pesky locked windows and door. Take it! You’ll need it!†Description of the AIRSOFT gun is “Rattttttttttta! Use it to redacted redacted and Dark Politicians, or random people you see! Take it! You’ll be needing it!†[PLaYGROUND] The playground is south of the front yard. The playground is a room. “The playground is completely empty, except for an adult wearing a lizard suit. It’s not Halloween. He must be affected by a nearby dong sign. Now, where are those signs? [paragraph break] North: front yard. East: monkey bars. West: swingset. South: School hallway.†The adult is a person in the playground. [MONKEY BaRS] The monkey bars is east of the playground. The description of monkey bars is “you think on playing with the monkey bars, but you’re doing something risky at the moment. Quit monkeying around or you’ll end up behind bars…[paragraph break] East: Slide West: Playground.†[SLIDE] The slide is east of the monkey bars. The description of slide is “This patch of playground contains a fun slide. Perhaps climb into the slide and find something???[paragraph break] Up: slide top. West: Monkey bars. East: Storefront. West: Monkey Bars†[SLIDE TOP] The slide top is a room. The slide top is up of the slide. The description of the slide top is “This is the slide top. You can slide down, but there is a Ding-Dong sign next to you.[paragraph break] Down: Slide.†The Dong sign 2 is in the slide top. The dong sign 2 is edible. The description of dong sign 2 is “This is an extension of Dong’s evilness.†After eating dong sign 2: say “This tastes exactly the same as the pine cone you ate.â€; award 1 point. [STREET] The street is a room. The street is west of the room 1. “You are now on one of the world’s most dangerous streets! But you see your target: the evil dong sign right in the center of the street guarded by a dangerous, and mind controlled gangster. There is a broken can of red spray paint on the ground. You might want to redacted him with an AIRSOFT before eating the dong sign. West: Club.†The dong sign 11 is in the street. Dong sign 11 is edible. The gangster is a person in street. The spray paint is in the street. Instead of drinking spray paint: Say “You are very thirsty and down the spray paint in one gulp. You now look like a vampire, so you could use this look to scare some of your none-existent friends!â€; Remove spray paint from play. After eating dong sign 11: Say “Eating Dong in dangerous places makes it extra pleasurable.â€; Award 1 point. Before eating dong sign 11: If the gangster is in the street: Say “The gangster kicks you so hard in the shin that you have a heart attack and die.â€; End the game in death. the gangster is edible. [SWINGSET:] The swingset is a room. The swingset is west of the playground. The description of swingset is “Oh noes! It appears that this side of the playground is a tad bit mistreated. Claw marks decorate the metal poles that supports the swings themselves, but what is more horrifying in sight is the very presence of a Ding-Dong sign. You must eat it. East playground. West: Seesaw.†The Dong sign 3 is in the swingset. The dong sign 3 is edible. After eating dong sign 3: Say “You satisfy your hunger and help to defeat Dong at the same time!â€; award 1 points. [SEESaW] The seesaw is a room. The seesaw is west of the swingset. “The seesaw is even more tattered and worn out than the swingset. The glow of a pair of eyes emanates from the shrubbery to the WEST. Beware![paragraph break] East: Swingset. West: Tent of the Clown.†[THE CREEPY CLOWN] The tent is a room. The tent is west of the seesaw. "YOU FOOL! You decided to follow the pair of luminous crimson eyes that radiated from the greenery, and to your surprise, You came across a CREEPY CLOWN, holding a bloody knife. What will you do? Will you flee? Will you eat him? Or will you die? East: Seesaw." The clown is in the tent. The description of the clown is "He is an evil spirit who loves to play with kids at night. He claims he’s not pennywise from IT, but dude, he’s totally pennywise from IT. His nerve-wracking face fills you with an irresistible hunger, for clown." The clown is edible. after eating clown: say "He tastes quite funny. [paragraph break] all of a sudden, the clown bursts through your ribcage, killing you instantly."; award 5 points; if score less than 10: say "Too easy. You left the dull world but it does not mean all your troubles are gone. Now more awaits on the other side, meaning Ding Dong has won."; End the game in death. [DaD’S FaVORITE PaSTIME CLUB] The club is south of room 3. The club is a room. The description of the club is “In the club you see your dad. The club is adorned with the sights of clusters of people dancing the night out to africa by Toto. Your dad is currently dad dancing with several women, not including mommy. When he sees you, he quickly hushes all the women away. You don’t see any Dong Signs in this room. North: Room 3. East: Street.†The dad is a person in the club. Every turn when the player can see dad: Say “Dad tells you not to tell mom or he will take away your XBox†[MIDDLE SCHOOL] The school hallway is south of the playground. The school hallway is a room. “In the school’s hallway you see a very weird screaming kid, there are three doors along the hall.†The door 1 is a closed unlocked door. The door 1 is west of the school hallway. The room 1 is a room. Room 1 is west of door 1. “The classroom is completely vacate except for one crazy kid with a mental disability. There are no Dong signs in this room.†The kid is a person in the room 1. Every turn when the player can see the kid: Say "The kid runs around everywhere screaming and making grunting noises. A name tag on his shirt tells you his name is Brian. You think he might be affected by the Dong sign nearby." The door 2 is a door. Door 2 is east of the school hallway. Room 2 is a room. Room 2 is east of door 2. Dong sign 4 is in Room 2. The description of the Dong sign 4 is “a sign filled to the brim with Dong-evilness. Eat for 1 point.†The Dong sign 4 is edible. after eating Dong sign 4: say “You get a taste for Dong’s evilness, and it is sure is bad. The evil opens your third eye, revealing[paragraph break]D O O R 3[paragraph break]It is east of the School's hallway but first, go west.†Room 3 is south of the school hallway. Room 3 is a room. “This room is full of children, all of them staring intently at none other than another dong sign taped right on the white board.†Dong sign 5 is in room 3. Dong sign 5 is edible. After eating dong sign 5: say “You love the taste of Ding Dong's evilness in your mouth. all the children now wake up. Go West, then north to leave this demonic room.â€; increase score by 1. Description of the dong sign 5 is “It just gets worse, even children are being infected now. But a vision flashes before your eyes. Dong's very own yard is shown to be west of room 2.†[DONG’S YaRD] Dong’s yard is a room. Dong’s yard is west of room 2. “You are nearing the secret lair of the evil Ding-Dong. The normal-looking house, north of the seemingly normal yard is bound to hide some pretty dark secrets. There is a delicious looking dong sign in the yard.†The dong sign 6 is in dong’s yard. The dong sign 6 is edible. after eating dong sign 6: say “You’re biting close to home now.†The dong door is a closed locked door. The dong door is north of Dong’s yard. The saw unlocks the dong door. After unlocking dong door with saw: Say “you saw the lock to get it open. Now what are you waiting for?! Go in and redacted dong!†[DONG’S HOUSE] Dong’s house is a room. Dong's house is north of dong door. “You are inside the evil lair of Ding-Dong. It seems pretty empty, but then again, looks can be deceiving. There is another dong sign in his house (obviously). There's some pills.†The table is in the dong house. The pills is on the table. The coffee is on the table. The pills are edible. After eating pills: Say “That’s some first class illegal drugs dong takes! You earn one point for getting high!â€; award 1 point. Instead of drinking coffee: Say “Oh no! The coffee is poisoned! Dark Lord Dong, although evil, is not dumb. He poisoned the coffee knowing you’d drink it!â€; end the game in death. The dong sign 7 is in dong’s house. The dong sign 7 is edible. After eating dong sign 7: Say “You have eaten another piece of balsa. Unfortunately, you are also feeling light headed. All that wood you ate today may be poisoning your system! Luckily, you’re feeling redacted anyways. You see a locked door north of Ding Dong's house so go north.â€; award 1 point. The room door is a closed locked door. The room door is north of Dong's house. The saw unlocks the room door. After unlocking the room door with saw: Say “This door has a heavy duty lock. Luckily, your saw is just made for such things. Afterall, your dad once used it to break into the strip when he was your age.†[DONG BEDROOM] The bedroom is a room. The bedroom is north of room door. “There is a bed right in the center of the room. Inside the bed is a pillow. On the desk next to the bed, there is a pack of redacted. But what is most frightening is that Lord Dong, conquer of the Birthday Party himself is standing right there, staring at you. Those redacted seem delicious.†Lord Dong is a person in the bedroom. Every turn when the player can see Lord Dong: Say “Dong enters the room and explains to you how he knew you would try to stop him, and that he was just waiting for you to show up at his house. Now he's going to redacted you.†The bed is in the bedroom. The pillow is on the bed. The desk is in the bedroom. The redacted are on the bed. The redacted are edible. After eating redacted: say "deliciously redacted!" [PET STORE] The storefront is a room. The storefront is east of the slide. The pitbull is in the storefront. “The pet store is guarded by a pitbull. He looks really angry. To get into the pet store, you have to pass by him. Pet store is south of storefront.[paragraph break]South of you is the pet store.†Every turn when the player can see the pitbull: say "The pitbull is sound asleep, you should eat him before him before he eats you." The pitbull is edible. After eating pitbull: say “Smells like pork, tastes like chicken.†Before going in pet store: if the pitbull is in storefront: say “the pitbull eats you whole and burps satisfied.â€; end the game in death. The pet store is south of the storefront. The pet store is a room. “There is dong sign, set up right in the center of the room. The owner and all the animals are hypnotised into dong supporters. Especially that weird looking hamster over there. Quick! Eat that sign to save them!†The Stinky dong sign is in the pet store. The Stinky dong sign is edible. After eating the Stinky dong sign: Say “You voraciously consume Ding Dong's sign, and digest it. It was delicious[paragraph break] The animals show their gratitude, but there is no time to play. You leave the store.[paragraph break]d o n g i s[paragraph break]u n h a p p y . . .â€; move player to storefront; award 1 point. [MONSTROUS HaMSTER] The monster room is a room. Monster room is west of the pet store. “this one looks to be the most influenced by Dong’s wrongdoings. It’s a good idea to eat him before he eats you.[paragraph break] East: pet store." The hamster is in the monster room. The hamster is edible. After eating hamster: Say “that was a delicious piece of hamster... droppings.†The description of the hamster is “A mutant creature that’s over 20 feet tall and 10 feet wide.†[HIKING TRAIL] The hiking trail is a room. The hiking trail is east of the storefront. “There’s another Dong sign just hanging on the tree, spreading evilness through the entire forest. There is a bear standing on guard in front of the sign. You should eat it before it does too much damage. There is also a warning sign on the tree about evil bears showing up around this area.†The tree is in the Hiking trail. On the tree is a dong sign 8. The dong sign 8 is edible. On the tree is a warning sign. The warning sign is edible. Description of the warning sign is “Beware of evil bears.†Description of dong sign 8 is “Pure evilness.†After eating dong sign 8: say “Ding Dong is down another evilness spreader. The Hiking Trail ends in a white void, one that deters you from passing. Perhaps a cruel god (or three) is watching over, laughing at your poor position?[paragraph break]Go West, or nowhere.â€; award 1 point. The bear is in the Hiking trail. The bear is edible. Before eating Dong sign 8: If the bear is in hiking trail: Say “The bear eats your hairline and you die of emBEARassment.â€; End the game in death.