The SECRET PRIVATE ORGANISATION OF RESILIENT KSPORKS by NameForSomeStuff

The SECRET PRIVATE ORGANISATION OF RESILIENT KSPORKS

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"The SECRET PRIVATE ORGANISATION OF RESILIENT KSPORKS"

Talking to is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "talk to [someone]" as talking to.
Understand the command "use" as something new. Understand "use [something] on [something]" as using it on. Using it on is an action applying to two visible things.

The Plate is a room. “Welcome to the world! Or whatever this void is, with strange island realms in multiple directions. There are bridges going between the islands made of metal that appear to be in a somewhat familiar form. Currently, you are on a large cold plain hard white circular surface, kind of like a plate. From here you see a metal figure in a dark cloak… Which would be menacing if it weren’t for the googly eyes on it accompanied by an exponentially smaller, goofier looking version to your left. The less menacing one is dressed in a small paper bag with ‘CLAOK’ scribbled on in black marker. The pair both stare at you, appearing less scary than they think.”

The Spork Leader is a person in the Plate. The Joe is a person in the Plate.

Instead of talking to Spork Leader: say "Hello newbie welcome to the P L A T E where we the SECRET PRIVATE ORGANISATION OF RESILIENT KSPORKS or S.P.O.R.K. For short, we have our home base. Now I know you’re new here so I, the GREAT LEADER OF THE SPORKS, am here to provide you information on our mission and some of the surrounding area. Now our mission is to… uh… mess up the other areas. BUT WE ARE NOT EVIL YOU GOTTA TRUST ME :). If you want to be more specific on our mission for each island, you should talk to the other sporks. You can travel to other areas on THE GREAT UTENSIL BRIDGES, which were created by our FORK AND SPOON ANCESTORS in their MAGNIFICENT FORM. From here we are connected to the Grain, Dairy, Meat and Green areas to the West, South, East and North respectively. For some reason, the other areas have been locked off, which prevents us from doing our mission. It's very important. I really wonder why… IT'S SO RUDE :C. Oh also, Joe is to your left."

The axe is a thing. Instead of examining axe: say "It's an axe. Like the normal utensil. You know when you eat food with an axe?"

Instead of asking Joe about "tree":
say "Joe looks like he has an idea of what you are talking about for once, reaches into his 'Claok' and pulls out… an axe. Joe then gives you the axe with a happy look on his face."; now the player has the axe.

Instead of talking to Joe: say "Joe looks at you with a confused look on his face."

The Green is a room. "Heading north from the plate you enter a lush forest area however now knowing that this world consists of food and this is the 'Green' area you realize that the trees are not trees but rather large broccoli and the citizens of this area appear to be walking fruits. However you can not identify what the grass on the floor, on the trees and frankly everywhere for some reason could be made out of. To your right you see a S.P.O.R.K. member and from where you stand you can see an apple, a banana and an orange. You can also see a tree blocking off an utensil bridge that goes to the west.". The Green is north of the Plate. The Green can be grassy or not grassy. The Green is grassy.

The Green Spork Member is a person in the Green. The apple is a person in the Green. The banana is a person in the Green. The orange is a person in the Green. The Tree is a closed, locked, openable door. The Tree is east of the Green.

Green Note of Success is a thing.

Instead of talking to Green Spork Member: 
	If Green is grassy:
		say "Ah you must be the newbie welcome to the Green area of the world. Here we need to remove the grass on the floor as it is literally on every surface, even on me, making this entire area inedible since people DO NOT EAT GRASS.";
	else:
		say "Great work newbie! Our GREAT MISSION progresses.";
		Now the player has Green Note of Success.

Instead of asking Green Spork Member about "tree": say "Yeah I don’t know how to get past that but it is blocking off the Candy area. I think maybe Joe could help you though."

Instead of using axe on apple:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "You swing the axe at the apple but it appears that the grass covering it is indestructible.";
	else:
		say "Excellent idea NO WITNESSES you slice the apple straight in half.";
		remove apple from play.

Instead of using axe on orange:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "You swing the axe at the orange but it appears that the grass covering it is indestructible.";
	else:
		say "Excellent idea NO WITNESSES you slice the orange straight in half.";
		remove orange from play.

Instead of using axe on banana:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "You swing the axe at the banana but it appears that the grass covering it is indestructible.";
	else:
		say "Excellent idea NO WITNESSES you slice the banana straight in half.";
		remove banana from play.

Instead of talking to apple:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "Yo. I’m like an apple. Aren’t I so cool?";
	else:
		say ":O Damn bro that cow just like removed our grass."

Instead of talking to orange:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "Yo. I’m like an orange. Aren’t I so cool?";
	else:
		say ":O Damn bro that cow just like removed our grass."

Instead of talking to banana:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "Yo. I’m like a banana. Aren’t I so cool?";
	else:
		say ":O Damn bro that cow just like removed our grass."

Instead of examining tree: say "Yeah it’s an annoying broccoli tree blocking your way."

Instead of using axe on tree:
	If Green is grassy:
		say "You swing the axe at the tree but it appears that the grass covering it is indestructible.";
	else:
		say "You swing the axe and chop the tree and it falls to the side into the endless abyss.";
		Now the tree is open.

Candy is a room. Candy is east of tree. Cake Candle is a thing in Candy.

Grain is a room. "Coming from the East you enter a large desert-like expanse where instead of grains of sand, you have grains… like just grains… as in bread. Anyways the surface of the bread is not soft at all, and is actually quite hard and rough. If you were to look up, which you do, you would see a large glass container of some kind to the South. To your left, you see a S.P.O.R.K. member and some form of field with a tall grain based figure within it." Grain is west of plate. Grain Spork Member is a person in the Grain. Farmer NotJoe is a person in the Grain. Grain can be wet or dry. Grain is dry.

Grain Note of Success is a thing.

Instead of talking to Grain Spork Member: 
	If Grain is dry:
		say "Hey newbie, so I’ve been assigned to this location and I hate it here because of this area's dryness. Which is technically a good thing, as what we are supposed to be doing here is somehow making this entire area like.. wetter or something? Though my spitting on everything doesn’t really seem to be working that well.";
	else:
		say "HEY the water from the Liquid area just came crashing down upon this area and it is now no longer extremely dry, which is great! (Though I’m not sure why we would want soggy bread).";
		Now the player has Grain Note of Success.

Grain Instructions is a thing. Regular Grain is a thing. Holy Grain is a thing.

Instead of talking to Farmer NotJoe:
	If player is carrying Holy Grain:
		say "Now that’s a surprise! You seem to have gotten yer hands on the Holy Grain I couldn’t possibly take it from ya even though you used my field. You should take it for yerself!";
	else if Grain is dry:
		say "‘Ello mate I am the farmer, Farmer NotJoe, of this here farm. My name is Farmer NotJoe ‘cause I hear that there is some other fellow named Joe and so I’m name NotJoe ‘cause I am distinctly not Joe. Anyways here I’ve been tryin’ ta produce one of them Holy Grains, however the way of producing it is quite complex. I got this here paper that I can give ya on how I have to specifically plant ma crops in ma field to produce a Holy Grain, and here, ya can also have this grain ‘cause why not.";
		Now the player has Grain Instructions;
		Now the player has Regular Grain;
	else:
		say "Farmer NotJoe looks displeased"

Instead of examining Regular Grain: say "It's a grain."

Instead of examining Grain Instructions: say "There is a 5x5 grid with numbers on its top and left side and instructions that say 'ask the field about from top row to bottom row in a line with \s in between rows and no spaces in between numbers in 1s and 0s to answer' whatever that means. The numbers read '1 1, 2 2, 1 1 1, 3, 2 1' from left to right at the top and '3, 1 2, 3, 2 1, 2 1' from top to bottom on the left. (If you don’t know what’s going on here it’s a nonogram)"

Field is a person in Grain.

Instead of asking Field about "11100\01011\00111\11010\01101": say "Something is happening! In the middle of the field, one of the plants is glowing. Then a giant ray of light hits , and slowly shrinks, revealing a bright white piece of grain: the Holy Grain."; Now the player has the Holy Grain.

Instead of examining Holy Grain: say "It’s the Holy Grain, a grain… but superior to other grains."

Dairy is a room. Dairy is south of plate. Temp-door is a door. Temp-door is west of Dairy.

Liquid is a room. "You arrive on the edge of a giant glass cup with a floor that seems kind of like what you would see at a pool with the tiled flooring. There is a random container of gasoline. If you were to go west from here you walk straight into the water. There is also a poster on the side of the cup directly below you." Liquid is west of Temp-door. Poster is a person in liquid. Poster can be q1, q2, q3, q4 or q5. Poster is q1. Gasoline is a thing in liquid.

Instead of examining Gasoline: say "Gas is highly flammable you know. You probably should not set it on fire."

Instead of examining poster: say "You somehow bend over to look closer at the poster and see that there are a number of riddles on it. (ask about answers to poster to answer) (You have to answer them in order)
1. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? 
2. What goes on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?
3. If you were to perhaps try to break a part of a glass of water what would happen?
4. What is H₂O?
5. What is 1+1?"

Instead of asking poster about "incorrectly":
	If poster is q1:
		say "Correct! I mean like no way, that’s insane. Move on to the next question.";
		Now poster is q2.
Instead of asking poster about "man":
	If poster is q2:
		say "Correct! What is this a Sphinx? Move on to the next question.";
		Now poster is q3.
Instead of asking poster about "drain":
	If poster is q3:
		say "Correct! That’s a weird question… Move on to the next question.";
		Now poster is q4.
Instead of asking poster about "water":
	If poster is q4:
		say "Correct! That’s not even a riddle though… Move on to the next question.";
		Now poster is q5.
Instead of asking poster about "2":
	If poster is q5:
		say "Correct! That was some insane math but still not a riddle.";
		say "After finishing everything on the poster you realize that there is small text on the bottom of the poster saying: ‘Note: This does literally nothing. I don’t know why you would do this.’"	

Glass Cup is a room. "You walk right into the liquid but you don’t fall all the way down since there is a giant stairway that you walk down instead and can luckily breathe just fine (I mean I’ve never seen a spork with lungs before). There you find no citizens for some reason though this place is massive and a conveniently placed hammer." Glass Cup is west of Liquid. Hammer is a thing in Glass Cup. Glass Wall is a thing in Glass Cup.

Instead of taking glass wall: say "Can you not?"

Instead of examining Hammer: say "You gonna do some construction? I don’t think so, remember you are here to mess with things not fix them."

Instead of using hammer on Glass Wall: say "You break a hole in the glass and the liquid drains out of it… onto the grain area."; Now Grain is wet; Remove Glass Wall from play.

Meat is a room. "You find yourself in a cavern made of meat, which is frankly disgusting to think about. Anyways, there is somehow a S.P.O.R.K. member stuck to the ceiling above you, and a suspicious bit of meat to the East. The citizens of this area appear to be slabs of meat. You can see beef, pork and lamb." Meat is east of plate. Meat can be raw, oily or burnt. Meat Spork Member is a person in Meat. beef is a person in meat. lamb is a person in meat. pork is a person in meat. Floor is a thing in meat.

Instead of taking floor: say "You hold on to the floor and fly around for a bit like a glitch in a video game, then come back to where you started because I'm not letting you pick up the floor and leave with it."

Suspicious Meat is a door. Suspicious Meat is east of Meat.

Instead of examining suspicious meat: say "It appears to be an openable flap of meat."

Instead of opening suspicious meat: say "You open the flap. You know, I half thought you would go around looking for something to open the flap for no reason."; Now suspicious meat is open.

Meat Note of Success is a thing.

Instead of talking to Meat Spork Member: 
	If Meat is burnt:
		say "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! YES! THIS IS EXCELLENT! EVERYTHING SHALL BURN!";
	else:
		say "HELLO MERE NEWBIE! I AM THE SPORK OF THE CEILING! I SHALL PROVIDE THEE MY WISDOM! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HEAT THIS LOCATION UP TO COOK IT BECAUSE AT THE MOMENT IT IS RAW AND WHO EATS RAW MEAT?!";
		Now the player has Meat Note of Success.

Instead of using gasoline on floor: say "You pour gasoline around the cave."; Now Meat is oily.

Instead of using cake candle on floor:
	If Meat is oily: 
		say "You use the candle to set fire to the gasoline. The gasoline is set alight… and everything’s on fire!";
		Now Meat is burnt;
	else:
		say "There is nothing to catch fire."

Instead of talking to pork:
	If Meat is burnt:
		say "dead";
	else:
		say "oink!"

Instead of talking to lamb:
	If Meat is burnt:
		say "dead";
	else:
		say "The slab of lamb is in the cave. Is the cave made of it? Or is it made of cave? The lamb screams ‘baa!’ for it does not know."

Instead of talking to beef: say "moo!"

Instead of giving Regular Grain to beef: say "The beef requires something of more superior quality"

Instead of giving Holy Grain to beef: say "The beef eats the grain. It now follows your every command. You put the beef in your inventory."; Now the player has beef.

Grass is a thing in Green.

Instead of taking grass: say "Your programming, and when I say that I mean the coding I did, says no."

Instead of using beef on grass: say "You bring the slab of beef across the bridge and onto the ground. You then look back at the plate wondering why you brought it here but when you look back all the grass that was everywhere has somehow disappeared with the beef looking somehow… satisfied?"; Now Green is not grassy.

Dairy is a room. “The spoon bridge feels colder as you step off, and looking around this realm, its extremely cloudy. Slightly dreamlike and cold, with the low buzz and hum of machinery. The floor beneath you is cheddar yellow, and soft. As well, the P.A. system has a repeating loop of spoken dialogue.

Built by experts! Sweetest and coldest!

Patches of floor are gooey gouda, and hastily stepping through reveals a giant silver ice cream producing block of metal. For some reason, the sight of this machine brings you to an unexplainable urge of destruction. This mech must be brought to justice and put to an end, and you are the spork with sight of a vision. 

On the side of the machine, a sticky note is written: ‘This machine is amazing! Great feat of engineering, it seems unbreakable! You’d need an absolute expert to break this fast food fein of a machine! Good thing there’s nobody here that could break this brilliance.’”

Egg is a room. “As you enter through descending yellow stairs, dragging your plastic limb across rugged yellow carpeting, look around.
Like a hug, the environment is simply welcoming, soft, and home-y. Unlike the desolate plate you came from, this place is bursting with a lively energy. Lights from a small lamp illuminate the small area's interior well, pouring tender attention into freshly dusted honey yellow-green walls. 
(You can walk further from here.)” Chicken is a person in egg.
Egg is east of meat.

Instead of walking further: say “By the stairs, you notice a commonplace where it seems many have gathered before. The chairs here are egg shaped, where you sit inside a makeshift shell. Very lived in, you can attest, as the pillows inside the hull of the chair have sunken in quite a bit. There are two, sitting side-by-side atop a large sunny side up style rug. Although the chairs are quite large, they aren’t an obstruction. Despite the inviting vibes, you feel uneasy. You see a chicken in the corner of the room.”

Instead of talking to chicken: say “She swivels around awkwardly, as mobility seems to have escaped her over the years. However, the attitude emitting from her starkly contrasts her physical state — Her feathers are not well preened, and if she had eyebrows, they would be furrowed. The tightness of her feathers have lowered, with density indicating many lived years of life. Her beady eyes are fixed on you with a motherly rage.”

Fastfood is a room. “ This room is super chaotic! There’s alarms ringing, and everything seems to be… fast. Since this is a food centric world, we can infer that this is a fast food restaurant realm. Wow! There are busy sporks running all over the place. Be careful! There's a manager… He seems friendly, hes plastic.. He looks like an **expert**!” Expert is a person in fastfood.

Instead of talking to expert: say “Do you need help?”

Endgame is a room. “The SPORK Leader clears his throat for a major announcement. Sporks gather around.
Ahem. AHEM. Attention, beloved members of the glorious S.P.O.R.K.! :)
Today, we gather around the legendary P L A T E, not for a battle, not for a mission (though those are cool too), but for something EVEN MORE IMPORTANT…
A CONGRATULATIONS IS IN ORDER.

Yes, yes! YOU — YOU SPARKLING, STUNNING, SLIGHTLY CONFUSED.. SILVER SHINING RECRUIT — have DONE IT. You’ve made it past the trials of the Grain Gauntlet! You survived the Dairy Dilemma! You probably wrestled with the Meat Munchers (don’t tell me how that went), and you even peeked into the Green Grotto — and survived the horrors of healthy. Kudos, you’ve collected all the notes!
AND FOR THAT…
WE SALUTE YOU.

Now, we initiate you now officially! Remember our motto!!! :D
We may be small, but our prongs are mighty!
Plastic stories of old, here ye all sporks, for they were fantastic!
Fork and spoon, world domination IMMINENT and soon! Soon…. Spoon….

You wake up blurry visioned and confused. Heading to your kitchen, the wall clock reading 4:12 AM, you see the mess of cutlery and takeout containers scattered throughout your dining table. Man, I made a mess last night, I was totally wasted!”