Quentaria by Robert Naytor

Quentaria

Played 2,659 times
View game source (spoilers!)
Download the .z8 file
Source Code

The story title is "Quentaria".
The story author is "Robert Naytor."
The story headline is "An Interactive Short Story".
The story genre is "Fantasy".
The release number is 2.
The story description is "An interactive short story about what adventurers do when they're not...well... adventuring."
The story creation year is 2012.

Include Basic Help Menu by Emily Short.

When play begins:
say "Your name is K'arnan, and you've been a student of the supposedly prestigious Quentarian School of True Heroics for nearly two years now. You say 'supposedly' prestigious because for all the talk of how many great adventurers have been formed from this instituion, for you, it's been starting to feel like busywork. Every day, you wake up, train yourself in the art of swordplay, archery, and remembering which side of the plate the fork goes on. At first, you wondered about the practicality of that particular class, before you learned that people ended up imprisoned over that sort of thing.[paragraph break]The point is, every day just feels like the same routine, with no sort of change in sight. The only thing keeping you from running screaming back home is the idea of being a famous adventurer, one arm wrapped around a bag of gold, the other held tight around a wench or three.[paragraph break]Today seems to be just another day at the Quentarian School for True Heroics, and the sun, just like always, is staring at you through the window, slowly burning a hole through your eyelids. It's practically been your enemy since the day you hatched, and one day... oh yes, one day, you'll get your revenge.[paragraph break]...But for now, there was something important you were supposed to do today. If only you could actually remember.[paragraph break]If you're new to the world of interactive fiction, you can activate a special tutorial mode that will give you pointers on how to interact with the world of Quentaria as you play. To activate this, type 'tutorial', without the quotes. Be warned, once you activate it, it'll be stuck on until you 'restart' the game. If you need any more help, just type 'help' at any point, without the quotes.[paragraph break]Also, you can 'think about' certain objects of importance to learn more about K'arnan, so give it a shot.[paragraph break]Press any key to begin.";
wait for any key;
now the command prompt is "K'arnan decided he would ";

Use American dialect, full-length room descriptions, and the serial comma. Use no scoring.

Book 1 - Global Stuff

Chapter 1 - Global Rules

Rule for printing a parser error:
	say "[one of](Uh... maybe I should go ahead and let you know there's a help menu. Just type help.)[or]You try thinking of what you want to do next, but then you forget.[or]You aren't even sure what you just said.[or]That didn't sound right in your head. Maybe you should rephrase that.[at random]" instead.
Rule for printing a parser error when the latest parser error is the can't see it at the moment error:
	say "Whatever you're referring to, it's not near you right now."

A deck is a kind of container.

Jernon-can't-spell is a truth state that varies. Jernon-can't-spell is false.
A thing can be helpful or nonhelpful. A thing is usually nonhelpful.
A thing can be started or unstarted. A thing is usually unstarted.
Key awareness is a kind of value. The key awareness are knows-of and doesn't-know-of.

A thing can be distant or near. A thing is usually near.
Instead of doing anything other than examining to a distant thing:
say "[The noun] [if the noun is plural-named]are[otherwise]is[end if] too far away."
A bed is a kind of supporter. A bed is enterable. A bed can be made or unmade. A bed is usually made.
Clothing is a kind of thing. The trousers, the sports jacket, and the wool underwear are clothing.

Chapter 2 - New Verbs

Shuffling is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "shuffle [something]" as shuffling. Understand "play [something]" as shuffling.
Dancing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "dance" as dancing.
Remembering is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "remember [something]" as remembering. Understand "think about [something]" as remembering. 
Making is an action applying to one touchable thing.
Driving is an action applying to nothing. Understand "drive" as driving.
Understand "climb into/climb inside" as entering [something].
Tutorial-activating is an action applying to nothing. Understand "tutorial" as tutorial-activating.
Using is an action applying to one touchable thing.
Understand "use [something]" as using.
Understand "make [something]" as making. Understand "straighten [something]" as making.
Unmaking is an action applying to one thing. Understand "unmake [something]" as unmaking.
Understand "unstraighten [something]" as unmaking.
Knocking is an action applying to one touchable thing.
Understand "knock on [something]" as knocking.
Understand "look out of [something]" and "look out [something]" as searching.
Flushing is an action applying to one touchable thing. Understand "flush [something]" as flushing.
Instead of flushing something that is not a toilet, say "You can't flush that."
Talking to is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "talk to [someone]" or "talk to [something]" or "talk [someone]" as talking to.
Saying hello to is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "greet [something]" or "say hello/hi to [something]" or "hello [something]" as saying hello to.
Petting is an action applying to one touchable thing. Understand "pet [somebody]" as petting.

Check petting:
	say "You run your hand all over [the noun], but it will sadly never return your affections.";

Instead of petting Jernon: 
	say "You reach over and pat Jernon on the head. He growls a little, feeling just a bit patronized.";

Instead of petting the player:
	say "You give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. A job of what, you're not sure."

Instead of petting the guard:
	say "You better not, he might get the wrong idea, and with that sword..."

Instead of using:
say "You need to be more specific on what you want to do with that."

Check driving:
	if player is in the horseless carriage and the horseless carriage is started:
		try going south;
	if the player is not in the horseless carriage in Town Gate:
		instead say "First you need something to drive with.";
	if the horseless carriage is unstarted and the player is in the horseless carriage:
		instead say "You should probably put the key in the ignition, first.";
	if the horseless carriage is unstarted and the player is not in the location of the horseless carriage:
		say "You should probably put the key in the ignition, first.";

Check tutorial-activating:
	if the closet is nonhelpful:
		now the closet is helpful;
		now Jernon is helpful;
		say "OK, tutorial mode is activated. To start off, why not try 'looking at' various things in your room? Like, say, the closet.";
		stop the action;
	if the closet is helpful:
		say "Tutorial mode is already activated.";
		stop the action;
Instead of using [anything]:
	say "You're going to need to be more specific on what you want to do with that."

Casting xyzzy is an action applying to nothing. Understand "xyzzy" as casting xyzzy.

Check casting xyzzy:
	if Jernon is in the location of the player:
		say "Jernon rolls his eyes. 'Of course that would be the first thing you try, wouldn't it?'";
	otherwise:
		say "You attempt to say it, but you're not even entirely sure how to pronounce it, so you fail.";

Chapter 3 - Bed Rules

Instead of making the first bed:
	if the first bed is unmade:
		now the first bed is made;
		say "You put in a tremendous level of effort hoisting the covers back onto the bed, carefully smoothing them back under the pillows. Why you do this, even though you know you'll just make a mess of them again, you aren't entirely sure.";
	otherwise:
		say "You've spent more effort than you probably have in your entire life getting it to where it is now.";

Before unmaking the first bed:
if the first bed is made, say "You put so much effort into making it so nice and neat, why mess it up again now?";
if the first bed is unmade, say "You probably couldn't mess it up worse than you already have. Probably.";

Instead of doing something other than examining to a bed that is not the first bed:
say "If Jernon found out you so much as touched his bed, he'd claw your eyes out. And the pirate look is not for you."

Book 2 - Rooms

Chapter 1 - Dormitory

The player is in Dormitory. 
Southeast of Dormitory is Hall.

Instead of going north in Dormitory:
	say "That way leads to the window. And you might be frustrated, but not frustrated enough to jump."

Instead of going west in Dormitory:
	say "Nothing that way but wall."

Instead of going south in Dormitory:
	say "Nothing that way but wall."

Instead of going southwest in Dormitory:
	say "Nothing that way but wall."

Instead of going northeast in Dormitory:
	say "Nothing that way but wall."

Instead of going northwest in Dormitory:
	say "Nothing that way but wall."

When Start Of Game begins:
	say "You hear the sound of draining water coming from the bathroom. Your roommate Jernon will probably be out of the bath soon.[if Jernon is helpful][paragraph break]While you're waiting on your roomate, you could try 'knocking' on the door. Or you could try breaking it down. Or, you could just 'wait' for him to finish. Totally up to you.[end if]"

Dormitory is a room.  The description of Dormitory is "This room was supposedly built for two people, although you have your doubts about that. On the south end of the room are two single-sized beds, one for you, and one for your roommate Jernon. On the the north side are a couple of windows that you can stare at the school grounds through. The east side leads to the part of the room that could possibly be described as a kitchen, if you wanted to be generous, and next to it is a door leading to the bathroom.[paragraph break]You can go through the east door to the bathroom, or leave the dormitory through the door to the southeast."

The closet is a closed openable container in Dormitory. The closet is fixed in place. The description of the closet is "Most people would call this an antique, but you would just call it old.[if the closet is open]The wooden doors to the closet are swung open. [end if][if the closet is helpful][paragraph break]You can open this closet to find what might be inside by just typing 'open closet'. Interactive fiction requires you to be a little specific about what you want to do, so just trying 'use' won't usually work. Inside the closet, you'll find some clothes. You'll want to 'take' them and then 'wear' them.[end if]"

The initial appearance of the closet is "A oak closet sits and gathers dust at the side of your bed."

Instead of opening or shuffling the deck of cards:
say "You don't have time to play cards with anybody right now, so you might as well leave them in the box."

The window is a thing in Dormitory. Understand "windows" as the window. The window is scenery. "This loathed torture device is what the sun beams straight into your eyes, ripping you from restful sleep."

The kitchen is a thing in Dormitory. The kitchen is scenery. "The school administrators were far too cheap to make these meager furnishings their own room, so they just piled it onto one of the dorm walls. There's a wood burning stove, a small counter, and a couple of cabinets to store things in. You've always theorized they keep it so ill-equipped so that the only way the students can eat is by spending their Qents at the eatery. Sadly, it seems to be working."

Instead of doing anything other than examining to the kitchen:
	say "You're entirely out of food, so there's not much that can be done with the kitchen."

The counter is a supporter in Dormitory. The counter is scenery. The counter is fixed in place. The description of the counter is "A wooden countertop, for the purposes of preparing and making food. Since you or Jernon ever barely cook, however, you just lay things on it when you're too lazy to put them up. Which is often. Sure, it annoys Jernon, but what doesn't?"

Instead of putting things on the counter while Jernon is in Dormitory:
	say "Jernon sighs. 'Can't you just put it in the closet?'[paragraph break]'Not like we use the counter for anything else,' you reply. Jernon sighs and shakes his head.";

The first bed is a bed in Dormitory. The first bed is scenery. The first bed is unmade.  The first bed is proper-named. The printed name is "your bed". Understand "my bed" as the first bed. Understand "your bed" as the first bed. The description of the first bed is "Quite possibly one of the best friends you've made during your time at the school. Sure, you hate the way the covers are stitched in, leaving your feet to roast under them. Sure, you hate the way one of the springs jab into your back if you lean into it a certain way. But, when it all comes down to it, it helps you get to sleep.[If bed is made]The pea-green covers are neatly straightened out.[Otherwise]The pea green covers are dangling over the edge of the bed where you left them.[END IF]"

Jernon's bed is a bed in Dormitory. Jernon's bed is scenery.  Jernon's bed is proper-named. The description of Jernon's bed is "About as neat and clean as the cat who sleeps in it, you're not entirely sure if you've even a speck of dust land on this bed.[If bed is made]Even after all the effort you put into making your bed, Jernon's makes it look sloppy by comparison.[Otherwise]Compared to his bed, yours looks like a war broke out.[END IF]"

Chapter 2 - Bathroom

Bathroom is a room. The description of Bathroom is "This tiny little room is barely big enough to even fit one person, although, thankfully, you've never tried to fit more than one in there. Most of the room is taken up by the bathtub. Attached to one of the walls is a sink, with a large mirror fixed over it. This is also, as you'd expect, where one would find the toilet.[paragraph break]You can return to the dormitory through the door to the west."

The bathroom door is a locked and closed door. The bathroom door is scenery. The bathroom door is west of Bathroom and east of Dormitory.

Instead of going east from Dormitory:
	if the bathroom door is locked:
		say "The bathroom is occupied at the moment. You'll have to wait for your roommate to finish up in there, first.";
	otherwise:
		continue the action;

Instead of knocking bathroom door while Jernon is in Bathroom:
	say "[one of]'Hang on, I'll be done in just a minute or two!' Jernon's voice calls out from behind the door.[or]'I SAID I'll be done in a minute!'[stopping]";
	
Instead of attacking the bathroom door: say "You don't have to break it down, you don't need to go THAT badly."

The toilet is a thing in Bathroom. The toilet is scenery. "More of a pot than anything, although, thankfully, it uses running water like the sink and bath. A small chain dangles from the side.";
The bath is a container in Bathroom. The bath is scenery. "This brass bathtub is barely big enough to fit you, which is one of the many reasons you try to avoid using it unless you really have to. There's a small knob attached to the faucet." Understand "tub/bathtub" as the bath.
The sink is a thing in Bathroom. The sink is scenery. The description of the sink is "This porcelian sink only has water that comes in room temperature. And when the temperature is 'entirely too hot' or 'entirely too cold', well, you can see the problem."
The knob is part of the bath. The knob is scenery. "You twist this little knob to control the flow of water."
The faucet is part of the bath. The faucet is scenery. "This is where the water comes out of."
The chain is part of the toilet. The chain is scenery. "A small iron chain dangles from the side of the toilet. Pulling it down will cause the toilet to flush. You briefly shudder at the thought of what Quentaria must have been like without plumbing."
The mirror is a thing in Bathroom. The mirror is scenery. "A shiny mirror with a silver frame hangs over the sink."
Instead of searching or examining the mirror:
say "You lean over the sink and give yourself a closer look in the mirror. You look pretty all right, you'd say. The adventurer's training has shaved some of your pudge off of you, although you'd never admit that to anybody. Your scales are a little less shiny than normal, and your amber-green eyes are a little puffy, but you look about as good as you always do. Which is pretty damn good."

Chapter 3 - Hall

The description of Hall is "This is a rather claustrophobic corridor, with doors leading to the rooms of the other students who live in this particular dormitory.[paragraph break]You can go downstairs into the outside world, or you can retreat inside to the relative safety of your dormitory. Compared to the dormitories, it's pretty sparse, with only a few pictures placed here and there to relieve the monotony.[if Jernon is helpful][paragraph break]You can go 'down' to leave the building, or, you might wish to poke around this room a little.[end if]"

Below Hall is a room called Main Grounds.

After going outside from Dormitory: say "You step out of the door into the hall."
 
Dorz is a thing in Hall. The printed name is "doors". Dorz is scenery. The description of Dorz is "These are plain wooden doors, much like the one leading to your own room."

The pictures are a thing in Hall. The pictures are scenery. The description of the pictures is "Various portraits of earlier adventurers, headmasters, and benefactors to the school. They're all covered in dust, so this must have been a LONG while before."

Understand "doors" as Dorz. Understand "other doors" as Dorz.
 
 Instead of opening Dorz:
 say "You weren't invited inside, and you doubt anybody's inside, anyway."
 Instead of knocking Dorz:
 say "You don't have time to knock on every single door to see if anybody's around."
 
 Check going southeast from Dormitory:
	if Jernon is not in Dormitory:
		say "You can't leave Jernon behind, he's the one carrying all the important stuff." instead;
	if there is clothing that is not worn:
		say "You can't go into the hall nearly naked like that! Well. You could, but you won't. Right now, anyway." instead;

Chapter 4 - Main Grounds

The description of Main Grounds is "This is the central campus of the school, and more or less the hub of the school. From here, cobblestone paths lead to different areas of the school, with a bronze statue of Jart, the first adventurer, in the middle connecting them all. As usual, the main grounds are abuzz with activity, with other students dashing around everywhere you see.[paragraph break]You can head to the town gates through the south, or return to your dormitory to the north."

Instead of going north in Main Grounds:
	move the player to Hall;
	move Jernon to Hall;

The students are a thing in Main Grounds. The students are scenery. The description of the students is "People of every species and region gather for miles to study at the Quentarian School For True Heroics, and this is where they all end up gathering between classes. Some of them are heading for class, some chat with one another, and some look about as bright and rested as you. Which is to say, they look slightly zombified."
Instead of doing anything other than examining the students: say "You'd love to forget about the whole stupid village and just goof off with the other students, but they're all too focused on other things to notice you right now."

The statue is a thing in Main Grounds. The statue is scenery. The description of the statue is "This large bronze statue has been in the center of the grounds for as long as you've been at this school, and has probably been there for a long, long time before that. It's a statue of Jart, the guy who was supposedly the one who thought of this whole 'adventuring' concept thousands of years ago. Whoever made the statue seemed to be pretty fond of him, too, with his rather heroic looking pose and rippling muscles. You weren't even aware that foxes could have muscles like that. These days, though, the statue's looking rather dingy, with trash piled around it and things the birds left behind."
Understand "bronze" as the statue. Understand "jart" as the statue.

Instead of remembering the statue:
	say "It's less the actual person the statue is based on you remember, and more just the statue itself. It really looks like a mess. Sure, the school groundskeepers try their damndest to keep the trash from piling off of poor Jart, but they just can't seem to do it. You hardly worship the guy, but you find it just a bit ironic how they're always covering the guy who started the whole 'adventuring' concept in trash."

Every turn when the player is in Main Grounds:
	if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
		say "[one of]Somebody dashes by you on your way to class, nearly knocking you over in their hurry.[or]You hear a brief snippet of conversation about that new motion picture about that Kerther A. Douglas guy you keep hearing about.[or]A random student wandering by wishes you a good morning.[or]You hear a snippet of conversation about some sort of new [italic type]training dungeon.[roman type][at random]".
Instead of going east in Main Grounds:
	say "That way leads over towards the movie theatre. While you'd love to catch 'Boy Gets Hit In Face With Rather Large Pie 2' again, you're too busy right now."
Instead of going west in Main Grounds:
	say "That way leads towards the classrooms. Since you've got a good excuse today to skip class, you'd rather make use of it."
Instead of going northwest in Main Grounds:
	say "That goes towards the girl's dorms. If you wanted to sneak over there, it'd be better to not do it in broad daylight."
Instead of going northeast in Main Grounds:
	say "That way leads to more dorms that don't belong to you."
Instead of going southwest in Main Grounds:
	say "A crowd of students block any movement towards that direction."
Instead of going southeast in Main Grounds:
	say "Nothing's over that way besides some training grounds, which you have no time for at the moment."
After going south in Main Grounds:
	say "You make your way out of your campus, taking the main road through the neaby town to the gates, where you've parked your new horseless carriage.";
	
Chapter 5 - Town Gate

Town Gate is a room. Town Gate is south of Main Grounds. South of Town Gate is a room called End Of Game. The description of Town Gate is "This is the gate that seperates the nearby town from the wilderness. Right now, they're wide open, with only one very bored looking guard guarding the gate at the moment.[paragraph break]You can head back through the gate to the north to return to the campus grounds. To the south is the open road, which you have no intention of walking on."

The gates are a thing in Town Gate. The gates are scenery. The description of the gates are "This heavy iron gate can be closed or shut to prevent people from either getting in out or out.  It's surrounded on both sides by a brick wall, built high enough to keep people from climbing it. You're honestly not sure why the gate is even needed, seeing as you've always seen it open, and that there's barely anything at this place worth stealing."

The wall is a thing in Town Gate. Understand "brick wall" or "brick" or "bricks" as the wall. The wall is scenery. The description of the wall is "The wall surrounds the gate, and it's made of smooth red brick."
Instead of climbing the wall:
	say "It's too smooth to climb, and besides that, you have no reason to, since the gate is wide open."

The horseless carriage is a vehicle in Town Gate. The initial appearance of the horseless carriage is "Your shiny new horseless carriage sits in anticipation for you to get behind its powerful engine. Are you going to deny it?" Understand "car" and "vehicle" as the horseless carriage. The description of the horseless carriage is "Despite the name, this machine looks barely anything like a regular carriage. An iron chassis supports two seats, with one for the driver and one for the passenger. The chassis is supported by four metal wheels. At the front of the vehicle is a large, metal engine, with a small compartment in the back for storing things.[paragraph break]And in the driver's seat is the igntion, just waiting for you to slip your key in and feel the power." 

The keyslot is part of the horseless carriage. The keyslot is an open unopenable container. Understand "ignition" as the keyslot. The description of the keyslot is "This is where you insert the key and insert the vehicle. It's only big enough to take your carriage key."
The chassis is part of the horseless carriage. The description of the chassis is "The chassis made of iron, painted into a classy black shade. Apparently the shade of black is supposed to absorb sunlight, keeping the car warmer during winter."
The wheels are part of the horseless carriage. The description of the wheels is "Four silver wheels are placed under the vehicle. Right now they're shiny and new, although they're probably end up caked with dirt by the time you get to Selhem."
The engine is part of the horseless carriage. The description of the engine is "This heavy metal contraption pumps steam, which causes the vehicle to actually move. You have heard that these things tend to overheat, but that's probably just a rumor."
The compartment is part of the horseless carriage. The compartment is a closed, openable container. The description of the compartment is "A button on the back of the carriage will open this little compartment up, letting you store things inside it so you don't have to put them in the seats." Understand "trunk" as the compartment.
The seats are part of the horseless carriage. The description of the seats is "These brown leather seats look like they sink in pretty deep."
After opening the compartment:
	say "You push the button, and the trunk swings open."
After closing the compartment:
	say "You slam the trunk shut."

After entering the horseless carriage:
	now Jernon is in the horseless carriage;
	say "You hop into the driver's seat, getting yourself comfortable. Jernon sits besides you on the passenger's side, looking rather nervous."

Check inserting something into the keyslot:
	if the player is not inside the horseless carriage:
		say "Maybe you should get in the carriage first.";
	if the noun is not the key:
		instead say "You try stuffing [the noun] as hard as you can into the slot, but it just doesn't fit.[paragraph break]...A feeling you're no stranger to.";
	otherwise:
		say "You push the key into the slot with a satisfying click and turn it. The carriage rumbles and sputters to life.";
		now the horseless carriage is started;
Check inserting the key into the keyslot:
	if the key is in the pocket:
		say "That would be a great idea, other than the little fact you don't know where it is." instead.;
	if the horseless carriage is started:
		say "It's about as started as it'll get. If you keep turning the key, you'll just hurt the engine." instead.
Check taking the key:
	if the key is in the keyslot:
		say "It took this long to get the thing started, and now you just want to turn it off again?";
		stop the action;
Check going south from Town Gate:
	if the horseless carriage is started:
		say "You push your foot onto the pedal, feeling the mighty metal beast slowly starting to inch forward, little by little, until it finally reaches its maximum speed of eight miles an hour. You can barely contain yourself from letting off a little laugh at the sheer power you now possess, something which only makes Jernon whimper and dig his claws into the dashboard even tighter. At the moment, you don't particularly care. Eventually, the town behind you starts to fade into the distance, the only thing you see ahead being the open road and your destiny.";
		end the game saying "You have gone on an adventure";
	if the horseless carriage is unstarted:
		say "You should probably, I don't know, start it or something, first.";
		stop the action;
	if the player is not inside the horseless carriage:
		say "Get serious. Walking is for people who don't have amazing new horseless carriages.";
		stop the action;
Instead of going north from Town Gate:
	say "If you've forgotten anything, you'll just have to worry about it later. Nothing's going to stop you from getting behind the wheel of this thing, now."

Book 3 - The Characters

Chapter 1 - Jernon

Jernon is a man in Bathroom. Jernon is wearing the tunic. The tunic is scenery. The description of the tunic is "This boring white ensemble is what the riffraff too poor to bring in their own wardrobe have to wear. Good thing YOU came prepared."The description of Jernon is "Jernon is a short, almost stubby-looking feline, covered in a thick coat of tawny fur. His fluffy tail swings back and forth behind him, the thing moving around practically just as much as he does. You aren't particularly good at describing furred folk, since they tend to blend together for you. If he weren't your roommate, you'd probably never be able to recognize him, either. Right now he's wearing his standard school-provided tunic and trousers."

Every turn when Jernon is in the location of the player:
	if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
		say "Jernon [one of]dusts his tunic off and sighs.[or]mumbles what sounds like a magical incantation to himself. Noticing your stare, he coughs slightly. 'Sorry, just trying to memorize something.'[or]opens up his backpack and ruffles through it.[at random]".
Every turn when Jernon is in the location of the horseless carriage:
	if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
		say "Jernon [one of]rubs his grubby paws across the metal of the horseless carriage[or]walks around the horseless carriage in circles, inspecting every side of it carefully[or]leans over and feels up the seats[at random]."
		
The spellbook is a thing. The spellbook is scenery. The description of the spellbook is "A large, leather tome that Jernon's always constantly skimming and stuffing his nose into. The one time you managed to get a peek inside, it all looked like gibberish to you."
Instead of taking the spellbook: say "Jernon would never let you have it, and even if he did, you'd have no idea what to do with it."
The other pack is a thing. The printed name is "Jernon's backpack". The description of the other pack is "It's a large, leather sack much like your own, although Jernon's is much larger and heavier. It's bulging with whatever it is he carries around with him, along with several glass bottles tied to it with string."
	
Carry out talking to Jernon:
say "[one of]'Weren't we supposed to be doing something today?' you ask. Jernon sighs and shakes his head.[paragraph break]'You didn't remember anything at all from yesterday?' He gives you an annoyed look. 'We're supposed to go to the [italic type]village of Selhem[roman type] and figure out what's causing the [italic type]disappearances[roman type] over there.'[or]'And then we'll be licensed adventurers?' you ask, careful not to put TOO much excitement into your voice.[paragraph break]Jernon chuckles. 'It would probably help if you started remembering things for once.'[or]Jernon seems to be too busy to make any more idle chat.[stopping]".
Instead of saying hello to Jernon:
say "[one of]'Morning,' you mumble sleepily.[paragraph break]'Morning. You really need to start going to bed earlier,' he comments, somewhat concerned.[paragraph break]You snort. 'And you need to quit being such a mook.' Jernon only rolls his eyes in response.[or]He heard you the first time.[stopping]".
Instead of asking Jernon about "[village]":
say "'So, where's Selhem, and anything I should know about it?' you ask.[paragraph break]'Selem is about five miles to the east. There's not a lot there, just farms and houses,' Jernon explains."
Instead of asking Jernon about "disappearances":
say "'People have been disappearing from the village, you say?' you ask. Jernon nods.[paragraph break]'That's what the villagers who came to us said. They have no idea what happened, besides a theory that the [italic type]jail[roman type], the one that's been [italic type]abandoned[roman type], near the village might have something to do with it."
Instead of asking Jernon about "[jail]":
say "'So they think that they've been taken to the jail by somebody?' It sounds like the most plausible theory to you.[paragraph break]'Well,' Jernon clarifies, scratching his head. 'It's more of a prison than a jail... well, actually, it's probably too big to be a prison. But point is, that's the theory, yes.'"
Instead of asking Jernon about "abandoned":
say "'So what happened to the jail that made it become abandoned?' You weren't aware that was a thing that could actually happen. At least, you've never heard of it happening before.[paragraph break]'The money ran out,' Jernon clarifies. 'The taxes weren't enough to keep it going, and the village was too poor to raise them. They shipped all the prisoners out to [italic type]Burn[roman type].' He shudders slightly. 'Pretty harsh.'"
Instead of asking Jernon about "burn":
say "'What is Burn, anyway? Nobody around here talks about it much.'[paragraph break]'You sure are sheltered,' Jernon says with a chuckle. 'Burn is where they send all the [italic type]irredeemable criminals[roman type]. It's all one big, scorching desert. Nobody knows what happens to the people they send up there. Nobody really cares.'"
Instead of asking Jernon about "[criminals]":
say "'When we say irredeemable, how bad are we talking, here? Like, 'murder fifty people' bad?'[paragraph break]'More or less,' Jernon responds. 'Which makes the fact they shipped EVERYBODY in that prison out there...' He lets off a small hiss. 'Well, it's hardly fair.'"
Understand "selhem" and "village" as "[village]". Understand "jail" and "prison" as "[jail]". Understand "irredeemable" and "criminals" and "irredeemable criminals" as "[criminals]".
Instead of asking Jernon about "backpack":
	if Jernon encloses the other pack:
		say "'You sure do keep a lot of stuff in that,' you mention. Jernon beams.[paragraph break]'Being prepared is the first rule of adventuring,' he says, with a smug tone in his voice.[paragraph break]'And how many rules are there again?' You never really kept count. Jernon thinks for a moment.[paragraph break]Jernon thinks for a moment. 'About 964, last time I checked,' he concludes.";
	otherwise:
		say "Somehow I get the feeling you've played this game before.";
Instead of asking Jernon about "spellbook":
	if Jernon encloses the spellbook:
		say "'I noticed you carry that book around with you a lot. What kind of spells are in there? Can you shoot lightning out of your hands?' As the sheer possibilites flow through your mind, your voice grows more and more excited. 'Level the earth? Summon an army of slathering demons? Bring total destruction from mountain to shore?'[paragraph break]Jernon stares at you for a moment, and then shakes his head. 'I can make things colder. Or warmer. If I tried REALLY hard, I might be able to make a flame the size of a lighter.'[paragraph break]You aren't sure if you're relieved or incredibly disappointed.";
		now Jernon-can't-spell is true;
	otherwise:
		say "How do you know he'll get a spellbook? WITCHCRAFT";
Instead of asking Jernon about "[statue]":
	say "'So,' you ask, 'What's the story about that Jart guy? You know, the one on the statue.' Jernon lights up, always eager to go into a history lesson. You regret asking him about it before he even gets the first word off.[paragraph break]'Oh, Jart!' he says, obviously having this spiel memorized. 'Jart is more or less the first adventurer from Quentaria, from thousands of years ago. Back when there wasn't any civlization, and the people of Quentaria were just a bunch of scattered tribes, Jart was the first one to go out and explore the land. It was due to his exploration that the tribes of Quentaria began to spread and settle. All good adventurers wish him for luck before they begin any major quest.'[paragraph break]You wonder if Jart would make Jernon shut up if you asked him."
Understand "statue" and "Jart" as "[statue]".
Instead of asking Jernon about "this kind of text":
	say "Jernon slaps his forehead. 'No, smartass, that means that the stuff you can ask me about looks like that, not --' Jernon pauses for a moment, looking a little embarassed. 'I mean... I don't know anything about that.'"
Instead of asking Jernon about "[training dungeon]":
	say "'Wait, what's this about a training dungeon?' This is the first you've ever heard about it.[paragraph break]Jernon shrugs. 'Well, apparently, they're making some kind of indoor training course for the students to try out. Not sure when it'll be done. Sounds like a dumb idea to me, really.'[paragraph break]'More like an AMAZING idea.' You will admit, you would love to go in there and try it out."
Understand "training dungeon" and "training" and "dungeon" as "[training dungeon]".
Instead of asking Jernon about "armor":
	if the player is in Town Gate:
		say "'Looks heavy,' you say.[paragraph break]'Probably,' Jernon says back. You'd imagine the guard would know more about his armor than Jernon does.";
	otherwise:
		say "There isn't any armor here. Maybe there's some somewhere around here, but it isn't here."
Instead of asking Jernon about "sword":
	if the player is in Town Gate:
		say "'You know what they say about guys with big swords, right, Jernon?' you say with a chuckle. He scratches his head.[paragraph break]'Uh, no,' he says, shrugging. 'What do they say about guys with big swords?'[paragraph break]'Well, uh... guys with big swords... never mind, you wouldn't get it.' You don't want to finish the joke with the guard, anyway.";
	otherwise:
		say "What sword? Where? Gah!";
Instead of asking Jernon about :
	say "Jernon shrugs. 'Sorry, I wouldn't know anything about that.'"
Instead of asking Jernon about "[player]":
	say "'So, how do I look?' you ask, spreading your arms out dramatically to let Jernon get a good, long look at you.[paragraph break][if the player is not wearing clothing]'Well, Jernon says with a shrug, 'I'd put something on besides your underwear, but that's just my opinion.'[end if][if the player is wearing clothing]Jernon stares you up and down carefully, before giving a small nod. 'A bit much, but not bad.'[end if]";
	
Understand "me" and "myself" and "K'arnan" as "[player]".

Instead of asking Jernon about "[kerther]":
	say "'So they're making a movie about that guy, huh?' you ask Jernon. Kerther A Douglas is nothing short of a superstar in the adventuring community, although you've heard a lot of grumbling about him since his movie deal.[paragraph break]Jernon nods. 'Can't say I don't think he's selling out a little, but mlre power to him, I suppose.'"
	
Understand "kerther" and "douglas" and "kerther douglas" and "kerther a douglas" as "[kerther]".

Instead of asking Jernon about "[Jernon]":
	say "'So,' you say, trying to make conversation. 'How'd you sleep?[paragraph break]Jernon shrugs and smiles. 'Pretty well. I wanted to get myself nice and rested for this, so I spent the night before reading up on my spells so I'd be nice and tired.'[paragraph break]'Ooh,' you say. 'Sounds like we have ourselves a real party person over here.' Jernon attemps to slug you, but you dodge it just in time."
Understand "himself" and "Jernon" as "[Jernon]".

Every turn when Jernon Follows is happening:
	if the location of Jernon is not the location of the player and the player is not in Bathroom:
		let the way be the best route from the location of Jernon to the location of the player;
		silently try Jernon going the way;
		say "Jernon follows after you.";
		
Chapter 2 - The Guard

The guard is a person in Town Gate. The guard is scenery. The description of the guard is "Despite his heavy looking [italic type]armor[roman type] and sharp [italic type]sword[roman type], this horse hasn't seen any action in a long, long time. He looks like he's putting an extreme amount of effort into not falling asleep right where he stands while guarding the [italic type]gate[roman type]." The initial appearance of the guard is "A very bored guard leans against the brick wall, watching you."
Instead of talking to the guard: say "As much as you'd love to brighten up his morning with your charming personality, you lack the time."
Instead of giving [anything] to the guard:  say "He's already getting paid for his time, you don't need to give him anything else. Besides, [the noun] would make a pretty awful bribe."
Instead of showing [anything] to the guard: say "The guard idly stares at it for a couple of seconds, before yawning a little."
Instead of asking the guard about: say "'I don't mean to be rude,' the guard mutters. 'But can you move along? I have guarding and such to do.'"
Instead of asking the guard about "armor": say "'Neat looking armor you've got there,' you point out, trying to make some friendly conversation. The guard stares down at it.[paragraph break]'Oh, it looks neat, but it takes like an hour to get it off. Really bad when you need to get to the bathroom quick.'[paragraph break]You make a quick mental note to never, ever wear armor. Or ask this guy about his."
Instead of asking the guard about "sword": say "'That's a pretty big sword you've got,' you mention. 'Where'd you get it?' The guard shrugs.[paragraph break]'Eh, that little workshop out back at that college. The lady there does some good work. I hear she's even been working on some kind of mechanical person. I know it sounds crazy, but still."
Instead of asking the guard about "gate": say "'So, do you usually leave the gate open?' you ask. You're not even sure you've ever even seen it closed. The guard nods.[paragraph break]'It's not like we're in [italic type]Kerzey[roman type] or anything. We don't really have to worry about thieves all that much around here.'"
Instead of asking the guard about "Kerzey": say "You make a long, low whistle. Or attempt to, since your reptilian tongue isn't built for that kind of thing. It comes off as some kind of cross between a hiss and a rasberry. The guard stares at you with a look of concern. 'I've, uh, been to Kerzey once,' you say, trying to save face. 'I wasn't there long, but from what I keep hearing, I'm pretty glad'. The guard nods, wiping some drool off of his face.[paragraph break]'Yeah, it's pretty much a pile of a city. I wouldn't wish a day there on my worst enemy.' He thinks for a moment. 'OK, maybe I would. But only if I was really, really mad at him.'"
Instead of talking to the guard: say "He's too busy right now to get into idle conversation, unless you had anything specific you wanted to ask him about."

Every turn when the guard is in the location of the player:
	if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds:
		say "The guard [one of]stares up from his post for a second, looking around cautiously. After finding nothing, he sighs and returns to his spot against the wall.[or]watches you with a mixture of caution and utter boredom.[or]pulls out his sword and pokes his finger against it to test its sharpness. He winces slightly.[or]looks like he's about to fall asleep.[at random]"
		
Chapter 3 - The Player

The description of the player is "[if the player is in Bathroom]You lean over the sink and give yourself a closer look in the mirror. You look pretty all right, you'd say. The adventurer's training has shaved some of your pudge off of you, although you'd never admit that to anybody. Your scales are a little less shiny than normal, and your amber-green eyes are a little puffy, but you look about as good as you always do. Which is pretty damn good.[otherwise]Without a mirror, you can't really describe how you look. You do know, however, you're rather green and scaly, with a row of thick spines adorning your headscales."

Book 4 - Items

Chapter 1 - Inventory Items

The player wears some wool underwear.The printed name of the wool underwear is "itchy, itchy, pair of wool underwear". The wool underwear is clothing. The description of the underwear is "Hot, itchy, and about two sizes to small for you, these are useful for covering the parts of you that needs to be covered, and little else."

After opening the closet:
	say "You grab the knob and swing the doors wide open. [the list of things in the closet] are crammed inside the closet, right where you left them. Neat? No. Convienent? Very.[if the closet is helpful][paragraph break]The backpack can be opened and closed by typing 'open backpack' or 'close backpack'. You don't have to search it, but if you do, you might find something worth taking with you. Or you might not? Who knows! It's an adventure![end if]"

The closet contains a hat. The hat is wearable. The printed name of the hat is "a bowler hat".  The hat is proper-named.The description of the hat is "Your black bowler hat, which you like to wear for formal occasions. Which in these parts, are sadly few." The initial appearance of the hat is "Your hat dangles from a hook attached to the inside of the closet."
 
 The closet contains a backpack. The printed name of the backpack is "a backpack". The backpack is proper-named. The backpack is wearable openable closed container. The backpack is the player's holdall. The initial appearance of the backpack is "Your backpack sits at the bottom of the closet." The description of the backpack is "This leather sack can be opened or closed with a small string attached to it."
  
 Inside the backpack is a deck called a deck of cards. The description of the deck of cards is "A small, wooden box containing cards with Quentaria's most well known adventurers on them. You've played with these so many times, that you've had to invent your very own version of Go Fish: Go Shark." 
  
Some trousers are in the closet. The printed name of the trousers is "a pair of trousers". Understand "pants" as the trousers. The trousers are proper-named. The trousers are wearable. The description of the trousers is "A dark gray pair of freshly pressed pants. They're long enough to cover your legs, but the material's thin enough you don't get too warm in them."

Understand "pouch" as the pocket.
  
A sports jacket is in the closet. The sports jacket is wearable. The printed name of the sports jacket is "a sports jacket". The sports jacket is proper-named. The description of the sports jacket is "Although you've never been in a sport your entire life, you find this black jacket comfortable enough you just ignore the name. It's rather warm on the inside, so you tend to wear it without a shirt. They also come with a rather large pocket."
 The pocket is part of the sports jacket. The pocket is a closed openable container. The description of the pocket is "This little pouch, placed convienetly at the side of your stomach, is great for when you're too lazy to hold things." The carrying capacity of the pocket is 3. Inside the pocket is a key. The description of the key is "A little brass key, used for starting your new horseless carriage."
 
Check opening the pocket:
	if the pocket encloses the key:
		say "You reach down to unbutton your pocket, feeling something lumpy in there. You reach in and try to feel what it could be. From the feel of it, it seems to be your missing key to your horseless carriage!";
		now the player carries the key;
		now key awareness is knows-of;
 
Instead of searching the jacket:
	if the pocket encloses the key:
		say "You reach down to unbutton your pocket, feeling something lumpy in there. You reach in and try to feel what it could be. From the feel of it, it seems to be your missing key to your horseless carriage! You grab the key for later use.";
		now the player carries the key;
		now key awareness is knows-of;
	otherwise:
		say "You don't find anything else in there, besides a lot of lint.";
 
 After wearing the hat, say "The bowler hat fits snugly over your headscales." After wearing the trousers, say "You quickly slip your trousers on." After wearing the sports jacket, say "You slip the jacket on and button it up carefully."

Book 5 - Scenes

Start Of Game is a scene. Start Of Game begins when the player has been in Dormitory for 2 turns. Start Of Game ends when Jernon Enters begins.
Jernon Enters is a scene. Jernon Enters begins when Jernon has been in Bathroom for 4 turns. Jernon Enters ends when Jernon has been in Dormitory for 1 turn.
Jernon Takes Book is a scene. Jernon Takes Book begins when Jernon has been in Dormitory for 1 turn. Jernon Takes Book ends when Jernon carries the spellbook.
Jernon Follows is a scene. Jernon Follows begins when Jernon carries the spellbook.
Jernon Sees Car is a scene. Jernon Sees Car begins when the player has been in Town Gate for 1 turn.
Jernon In Car is a scene. Jernon In Car begins when the horseless carriage is started.

When Jernon Enters begins:
now the bathroom door is unlocked;
now the bathroom door is open;
move Jernon to Dormitory;
say "You can hear Jernon unbarring the bathroom door. He enters through the bathroom into the main living area, clad in his usual boring school clothes. 'Morning,' he says, chipperly. [if the first bed is made]Jernon stares at your nice, neat bed, his eyes widened in surprise. 'You actually cleaned up after yourself for once. Is there something you're not telling me, lizard?'[end if][if Jernon is helpful][paragraph break]This is your roommate, Jernon. You can 'greet Jernon' to say hello to him, or you can 'talk' to him multiple times to see what he has to say. You can also try typing 'ask Jernon about' words that show up in [italic type]this kind of text[roman type]. This will let you ask him more about certain subjects of interest.[end if]";.
When Jernon Takes Book begins:
now Jernon carries the spellbook;
now Jernon carries the other pack;
say "[if player is in Dormitory]Jernon reaches under his bed and grabs his [italic type]backpack[roman type] and [italic type]spellbook[roman type]. 'Ready when you are,' he says, a little impatiently.[end if][if player is in Bathroom]You hear Jernon's voice call out. 'Come on, quit wasting time and let's go!'[end if][if Jernon is helpful][paragraph break]Besides asking Jernon about his things, you can also 'show an item to Jernon' to see what he thinks about it.[paragraph break]By the way, if you're dressed, and you're ready to go, you can leave your dorm by typing 'southeast', or 'se', for short.. For future reference, if you'd like to move to the north, south, east, or west, if there's a path in that direction, you can just type 'n', 's', 'e', or 'w', respectively.[end if]";
When Jernon Sees Car begins:
	say "As soon as Jernon sets eyes on your new horseless carriage, he stops. 'Wait,' he says, stepping closer to it. 'What's this thing? How did it end up here?'[paragraph break]You scoff slightly. 'Why, that's the brand new horseless carriage I had one of my servants deliver it personally. We're going to ride straight to Selhem!' You beam proudly. As tough as life gets for you here, you still feel amazing for being able to say 'one of' your servants. Jernon only scratches his head.[paragraph break]'So... wait, hold on. You mean this big chunky metal thing is that carriage you kept telling me about?''[paragraph break]'It's SLEEK!' you interject. [paragraph break]Jernon shakes his head. 'Well, can't we just walk?' You shake your head defiantly.[paragraph break]Jernon shrugs. 'Well, all right, but if this thing explodes or something...'[paragraph break][if key awareness is doesn't-know-of and Jernon is helpful]You prepare to fetch the key to the carriage to start it. That's when you realize you don't actually know where it is. Jernon gives you an annoyed look, to which you can only smile sheepishly in reply. You know you left it somewhere, you just need to FIND it.[paragraph break]You're missing an important item, but it's not as far away as you might think. Maybe you could try 'looking at' some of the things you're carrying? If you aren't sure what you're holding, try typing 'I'."
When Jernon In Car begins:
	say "Jernon yelps and grips the dashboard with his claws. 'Is it... is it...,' he starts to stutter, looking at you. 'Supposed to do that?'[paragraph break]You roll your eyes and nod in the affirmative. Poor Jernon always was a country boy, really, and you doubt he's even heard of one of these things before. He's lucky to have such a good friend, really.[paragraph break]'That's just the engine,' you explain. 'It's where the steam comes out of, and what makes the whole thing go.' He nods a little, but still fidgets around in his seat.[paragraph break]'Yeah,' he agrees. 'But does it have to be so... you know, loud?' It IS rather conspicious, you have to admit. You give another nod.[paragraph break]'That's just so you know how powerful it is,' you say with a smirk. 'You can tell it's working BECAUSE it's so loud.'"
	
Book 6 - Silly Responses

Chapter 0 - Global

Instead of swearing mildly, say "Real adventurers do not use such language. But, technically, you AREN'T a real adventurer yet, so go right ahead."
Instead of swearing obscenely, say "Real adventurers do not use such language. But, technically, you AREN'T a real adventurer yet, so go right ahead."
Instead of taking off clothing:
say "There's always a time and place to get naked, but this is neither." 
Check shuffling: say "You may be shuffling every day, but that doesn't mean that needs any."
Instead of dancing: say "You try to shuffle left and right, but your tail is just too huge and unwiedly for you to really boogie down."
 Instead of making when the noun is not a bed: say "Practically the only thing you know how to make is your bed, and even that's debatable."
 Instead of knocking when the noun is not a door: say "You tap your knuckles against it, then feel kind of silly for it."
Report of talking to something that is not a person: say "I know your roommate might not be excitement central, but really, talking to [the noun]?"
Instead of tasting the player:
say "You lick across your arm to see how you taste. A little like leather, it turns out."
Instead of attacking the player:
say "If you really want to get some unarmed combat practice in, there are better targets than yourself."
Instead of smelling the player:
say "You smell like scales, meat, and really needing a bath."
Instead of kissing the player:
say "The day either magic or technology advances to the point they can create a perfect copy of somebody, sure. Until then, that's sadly impossible."
Instead of taking the player:
say "You wrap your arms around yourself and attempt to lift yourself. The only thing you pull up is a muscle."
Instead of sleeping:
	if the player is in Dormitory:
		say "If you went back to bed now, there's no guarantee you'd ever be able to wake yourself up.";
	otherwise:
		say "What, right here on the floor?";

Chapter 1 - Dormitory

Instead of looking under the first bed: say "All you find is dust and cobwebs. You're really going to have to make somebody sweep under here."
Instead of taking the first bed: say "If you had the strength to cart this bed around with you everywhere you went, you would. Sadly, however, you'll have to make do with a bedroll."
Instead of smelling the first bed: say "You lean in and give the covers a nice, strong sniff. You regret this decision before the scent even registers to your brain. Maybe you do need a bath after all."
Instead of touching the first bed: say "You stroke your claws across the covers. This only unstraightens the covers even more, though, so you stop."
Instead of searching the window:
say "You glance outside the window, protecting yourself with a claw from the glare of the sun. Outside, you can see students who woke up much earlier than you did, scrambling across the grounds, chatting with one another, and just generally being much more of a morning person than you could ever hope to be."
Instead of opening the window: say "And let in all the bugs? No way."
Instead of eating the hat: say "You haven't lost a bet yet, so you have no need to."
Instead of eating: say "You can't imagine that'd be part of a balanced breakfast. Then again, neither is half the stuff you eat, but that's beside the point."
Instead of smelling the hat: say "It smells like your head. That is, it needs a serious washing, much like your head."
Instead of eating the backpack: say "Sure, it might have been a cow at some point, but that doesn't mean the meat's still there."
Instead of taking the closet: say "Sure, you like to look good, but that doesn't mean you want to carry around your wardrobe with you at all times."

The school grounds are scenery in Dormitory. The school grounds are distant. The school grounds are plural-named. The description of the school grounds is "You glance outside the window, protecting yourself with a claw from the glare of the sun. Outside, you can see students who woke up much earlier than you did, scrambling across the grounds, chatting with one another, and just generally being much more of a morning person than you could ever hope to be."

Chapter 2 - Bathroom

Instead of attacking the mirror: say "You hardly believe in old wives' tales, but if you broke it, you might end up cutting yourself."
Instead of entering the bath: say "You're fine, you had one three days ago."
Instead of taking the bath: say "You're fine, you had one three days ago. Unless you meant physically picking it up, in which case, you're pretty sure you can't do that."
Instead of entering the toilet: say "You don't feel the need at the moment."
Instead of searching the toilet: say "No thank you."
Instead of smelling the toilet: say "Hahahahahahahaha! No."
Instead of touching the toilet: say "You're hardly a hypochondriac, but you really don't want to go rubbing your claws all over it without a good reason."
Instead of pulling the chain: say "You give the iron chain a hard tug, and the toilet flushes. Since there was no reason to flush it right now, though, you're just wasting water."
Instead of taking the chain: say "If you took the chain, nobody would be able to flush the toilet. You do NOT want this to happen."
Instead of flushing toilet: say "You give the iron chain a hard tug, and the toilet flushes. Since there was no reason to flush it right now, though, you're just wasting water."
Instead of tasting the toilet: say "Boy, have YOU picked the wrong game."
Instead of taking toilet: say "When they say 'take a piss', this is hardly what they meant."
Instead of inserting something into toilet: say "If you put that in there, you'd never want to take it back."
Instead of turning or pulling or pushing the knob: say "You don't intend to take a bath right now, so that would only waste water."

Chapter 3 - Jernon

Instead of showing the backpack to Jernon: say "Jernon stares at your rather light-looking backpack. 'You did remember to pack up this time, like I asked, right?'[paragraph break]'Well, yeah,' you nod.[paragraph break]Godsdamnit, you knew you forgot something."
Instead of giving the backpack to Jernon: say "He's already carrying his own, you're not sure if his twig-like body could handle carrying two at once."
Instead of showing the hat to Jernon: say "You hold your hat up to Jernon. 'You think I need this today?' Jernon shakes his head.[paragraph break]'Nah,' he says. 'They're not really the kind of people who dress fancy.'"
Instead of giving the hat to Jernon: say "It's not his color at all."
Instead of showing the trousers to Jernon:
say "Jernon stares your trousers up and down. 'Those would be your pants, all right,' he concludes."
Instead of giving the trousers to Jernon: say "Jernon has his own pants, he doesn't need yours."
Instead of showing the deck of cards to Jernon:
say "Jernon squints his eyes towards you. 'I am NOT playing Go Shark with you. Not after last time."
Instead of giving the deck of cards to Jernon: say "After last time, he'd probably burn them if you gave them to him."
Instead of showing the key to Jernon: say "Jernon stares at your key quizically. 'Wait, where does this go to?' You only smirk in reply. [paragraph break] 'Oh, you'll find out,' you say, cryptically."
Instead of taking Jernon: say "Jernon might be skinnier than you, but that doesn't mean you're strong enough to pick him up and haul him around."
Instead of smelling Jernon:
say "[one of]You lean in and give Jernon a sniff. He doesn't smell like much of anything, since he's just had a bath.[paragraph break]Jernon stares at you quizically. 'Any particular reason you're sniffing me, K'arnan?'[or]You aren't THAT interested in how he smells.[stopping]".
Instead of kissing Jernon: say "[one of]You lean in and give Jernon a completely platonic, very heterosexual hug. He seems a little surprised, but he returns it eagerly.[or]Don't push it.[stopping]".
Instead of attacking Jernon:
	if Jernon-can't-spell is false:
		say "You've thought about it once or twice, but if you did that, he'd probably use his powers to set you on fire. Then he would kick you out of the dorm.";
	if Jernon-can't-spell is true:
		say "Just because he can't set you on fire doesn't give you the excuse to smack him around.";
Instead of touching Jernon:
say "He might get the wrong idea, and you AREN'T that kind of lizard."
Instead of tasting Jernon: say "Better not, you might end up getting some hair stuck in your throat."
Instead of knocking Jernon:
say "[one of]You tap your knuckles against Jernon's chest. 'Ouch,' he says, rubbing at his fur. 'What was that for?'[or]Don[']t, you might leave a bruise.[stopping]"

Chapter 4 - Remembering

Instead of remembering the closet:
	say "This closet has been in the dormitory since you've been to this school. It's a fairly decent piece of furniture, as far as they all go, although the wood's starting to crack and fade. It's a rather nice place to toss your things when you don't want to bother with them anymore, too, since Jernon never bothers to actually check it."
Instead of remembering the player:
	say "You take a moment to do some self-reflecting. As tough as it's been to go from a life of luxury to.... well, all this, you have to admit, it's been rather nice. You never wanted to be the kind of rich folk who sits around and spits at the poor in their spare time, really. You try to remember further back, trying to think of how you ended up here in the first place.[paragraph break]You had always been asking to join the school, even back when you were a hatchling. They had posters and advertisements for it all over Quentaria City. Posters which neglected to mention how long it actually it took for the Quentarian School For True Heroics to actually let you do some, you know, true heroics, but still. With the age limit, however, it would have been years before you could join, so you spent the time waiting asking for Father to bring you there. You get the feeling that by the time you were old enough, he couldn't wait to take you."
Instead of remembering Jernon:
	say "Jernon has been your dormmate for as long as you've been at this school. He hasn't always been easy to get along with, giving how much your standards of cleanliness differ, but he's decent enough company. He's fairly friendly towards you and most other folk, if a little reserved at times. So much reserved you're always getting the feeling he might be hiding something, although you couldn't say what.[paragraph break]You're not sure how fate picked two so entirely different people as you and Jernon to be roommates. It's always given you the feeling your life is some sort of comedy, really. You're part of the lap of luxury, Jernon's the son of farmers. You're always keeping your eye on the new machines of the time, you can't even be sure if Jernon knows what a steam engine is. It's not that he's stupid. You'd never call a magic user stupid to their face, lest you end up more ash-like than you previously were. He's just been stuck in the sticks too long that it's affected his mind, you believe."
Instead of remembering the counter:
	say "You really do need to learn to cook so that this counter has an actual purpose, really. Jernon honestly seemed like more of the culinary type, since his classes deal with alchemy, and magery, and a lot of other things you can't really remember the name of right now that probably end in 'y'. You would try to cook yourself, but you'd probably end up burning the building down."
Instead of remembering the bathroom door:
	say "The iron bar has been very, very good to you at times, and that's all you're getting to hear in this version of the game."
Instead of remembering the window:
	say "You're not really sure why you never were a morning person. Maybe it's because it wasn't until now you couldn't afford not to be. Your previous life, before the whole adventuring thing, was one where you could just lounge around until noon. Or later. Possibly very much so. You had set records in Quentaria City for this sort of thing."
Instead of remembering the deck of cards:
say "Ah, Go Shark. A failed experiment of yours, really.. One night out in the woods with Jernon, when a storm was rising and all you had was a cramped little cave for cover, you and him sat and hashed out some modifications to Go Fish to make it into a gambler's game. Luck was with you that day, as you ended up fleecing Jernon out of all the cash he was carrying. He hasn't brought it up with you since then, and you're not really sure he's forgiven you entirely for it. Still, though, serves him right for going up against you in a game you invented."
Instead of remembering the first bed:
	say "There's not really much you could say about your bed, besides the fact that you sleep in it. And sleep in it. And sleep in it. Thank the gods for inventing roommates, or else you'd never get any adventuring done."
Instead of remembering Jernon's bed:
	say "It's less of Jernon's bed that you find particularly noteworthy and more about how he sleeps in it. While you can really saw a log once you get tired, you barely hear a sound of Jernon. You're not sure how he manages to stay so quiet for all the time you've roomed with him, but you've always appreciated it from him, as much as you've failed to mention it."
Instead of remembering the hat:
	say "You got this the day before you left for the school, figuring it would impress those who shared your fortunate social status. Unforunately, you've never been able to find anybody who appreciate just how good this thing looks on you. Not only that, but lately, you've been having a hard time getting it on in the first place."
Instead of remembering the sports jacket:
	say "You got this jacket from the same tailor Father got his, and you've tended to wear it everywhere you go during the summer months. You're not even entirely sure why they call it a sports jacket, since you've never seen anybody play sports while wearing one."
Instead of remembering the wool underwear:
	say "There's not really much you wish to remember about your underwear besides how much you'd love to just tear them off of yourself so they'd quit itching. This is one of the times when you wish you didn't have a roommate, so you could just, well, stop dealing with underwear."
Instead of remembering the backpack:
	say "You got this from the general store in town. The school was too cheap to offer just offer them out to people, despite Jernon's repeated assurance that a a backpack is one of the most important things an adventure can have. You tend to pack light. Very light, in fact. No sense wearing your back out with things you wouldn't need."
Instead of remembering the toilet:
	say "It's a toilet. Is there anything you REALLY want to remember about it?"
Instead of remembering the bath:
	say "You've never really been much of a bath person. Back at your old home, there was a rather nice shower, which had fresh water pumped down onto you. It was cleaner and quicker. Yet the bumpkins out here think that sitting around in your own wet filth is a good way to get clean. People are strange, sometimes."
Instead of remembering the mirror:
	say "If you want to do some serious thinking about how you look, it'd be better to look at the mirror instead of just think about it."
Instead of remembering the window:
	say "Ah, the window. Nature's own personal alarm clock. Its wretched, evil, hateful, awful alarm clock. Sure, you've bought curtains for this thing. More than one pair, actually. But somehow, the sun somehow manages to beam its way straight through them and directly into your eyes. Sometimes, you ponder trying to find a way to blow up the sun. Sure, it would result in the death of civilziation. But at least you would be able to get some damned sleep."
Instead of remembering the students:
	say "You don't really recognize anybody in the crowd, although you've more than likely had lunch with a few of them once or twice. You'd like to say you're a people person, and nobody around here hates your guts. Well, as far as you know, anyway. Sadly, your luck with the school's female demographic hasn't been so great."
Instead of remembering the guard:
	say "This guy has been guarding the gate for as long as you've stayed here. You've never really chatted with him, partly because you've barely ever town before now, and partly because he's never really seemed like the friendliest sort."
Instead of remembering the horseless carriage:
	say "You've been looking forward to this for weeks, so much so you've been practically dreaming about the thing. You must have sent Father a dozen letters begging for one of these as soon as you heard about them, and it seems your persistence has finally paid off. You're a little concerned that it's one of the less reliable models that don't run off of magic, but that hardly makes you feel any less giddy."
Instead of remembering:
	say "There's nothing particularly noteworthy you can remember about [the noun]."
		
Book 7 - Help

Table of Basic Help Options (continued)
Title	Subtable	Description
"Have you tried?"	--	"Making your bed? Unmaking it? Unmaking it when it's already unmade? Smelling it? Touching it?[paragraph break]'Taking' a bath? Taking, smelling, tasting, or flushing the toilet?[paragraph break]Showing your things to Jernon? Giving your things to him? Asking him about his spellbook and backpack? Smelling him? Twice? Attacking, touching, or knocking on him twice?[paragraph break]Swearing? Shuffling the cards? Shuffling something else? Putting something besides your key in the ingition? Picking up the toilet? Asking Jernon about things before you see them? Remembering everything, including the window, bathroom door, toilet, bathtub, counter, and yourself?"
"Credits"	--	"Thanks to Emily Short for the Basic Help Menu, and to Graham Nelson for creating Inform 7. Also a very special thank you to intfiction.org for walking me through Inform 7."