The Computer Lady by Daniel Gunnell

The Computer Lady

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"The Computer Lady" by Daniel Gunnell

The story headline is "An Interactive Coding Exercise"

Use brief room descriptions. Use no scoring.

Instead of examining the player, say "You are a novice writer of interactive fiction. It all started when you had finished playing Jigsaw, a rather interesting historical game with references to Infocom's Trinity. Now though, as you stand there holding your Apple II, thoughts of your next IF game in your mind, you wonder if you should have just bought yourself an iPhone." Casting xyzzy is an action applying to nothing. Understand "xyzzy" as casting xyzzy. Instead of casting xyzzy, say "Well, I'm surprised that so many people know about that magic word, but nowdays all it does is produce some text that I cannot understand." Rule for printing a parser error: say "You seem to have typed something that I can't read. Please do not do that, as it confuses the interface of this game." instead. Rule for printing a parser error when the latest parser error is the I beg your pardon error: say "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." instead.

When play begins: say "Right, calm down. You've had your computer (an Apple II) since the mid 90s, before you could actually buy them at Apple Stores. It's so old now that the modem for connecting you to the internet has failed, and it's screen is cracked at the top where you hit it in your frustration because your favourite game from 1987, Bureaucracy, by Douglas Adams crashed before you could even load it. (The author of this game wasn't born in the 1990s, so he's only guessing that Apple II's had modems. Mind you, the latest MacBook has a thing called WiFi.) So, with that background out of the way, you took your ancient relic of a computer (it should be in a museum) to The Computer Lady in the hope that they could repair such machines." Church Approach is a room. "You are standing on Church Approach, which is a little side street off New Romney high street. Opposite you is St Nicholas Church, where you enjoy bell ringing. Nearby is Station Road, where the Marsh Academy (formally called Southland's School) is. To your north is The Computer Lady. Something, perhaps the nice weather, seems to be calling you to a little picnic spot to the northeast."

An Apple II is a device carried by the player. Understand "computer" as an Apple II. Instead of examining an Apple II, say "Your computer with a floppy disk drive and some other bells and whistles, is looking as though it saw better days years ago. The screen has a zigzag-shaped crack at the top from the time your favorite game crashed. So far, it's suffered liquid damage at the hands of an innocent cup of tea, modem failure and the enter key has fallen off. Luckily, most people use the touchscreen division of Apple products, so you've got your fingers crossed just in case it cannot be repaired." Northeast of Church Approach is Picnic Bench.Picnic Bench is a room. "Behind the building, a long wooden bench sits here, just waiting to be sat on by so many passing citizens of the Romney Marsh. (This doesn't include sheep, ducks, or anything that can be eaten!) If you had brought a packed lunch with you, you could easily sit here, watching the world go by." Here is Only You Can Save Mankind. Understand "pirate computer game" or "computer game" as Only You Can Save Mankind. Instead of examining Only You Can Save Mankind, say "You vaguely remember playing this sci-fi game back in the late 1990s, on an old computer whose name you have forgotten. The game comes in a nice little package with quotations of the Discworld books and a picture of Mrs Tachyon on it." North of Church Approach is Entrance.

Entrance is a room. "This is the entrance of The Computer Lady, which repairs computers, software and just might put your computer in a museum along with those old-fashioned record players and video cassettes. To the south, the street can be seen, a reminder that you can get back home whenever you want. To the east is the main office, west is the conference room and north is the place you go if you need to answer the call of nature. A sign is attached to the east wall." Here is a sign. It is scenery. Instead of examining the sign, say "Welcome, patient people to our relaxed office environment. We'll repair anything, even if it means we have to hike to Lydd Airport and back! If you have a concern with your computer (for example liquid damage) we can fix it for you in no time. (This offer excludes typewriters, those really old home computers that took up a desk and floppy disks.) The layout of this place is easy to navigate for those of you who are playing interactive fiction. Our staff are currently at MIT in Cambridge at the moment, where we are being shown how to write our own Inform 7 game. So, using special AI, we've built Rocomputer, a state of the art robot computer who repairs computers when you drop them." The street is a backdrop. It is in Entrance. Instead of examining the street, say "South of you spreads the street, a reminder that you can get back to your home whenever you want. From here, the street looks ordinary enough, with a little church opposite, a row of memorial benches for armistice and a local branch of Costa Coffee." The toilet door is north of Entrance and south of Toilet. It is scenery. The toilet door is a closed door. Toilet is a room. "The toilet, like any other public toilet in any workplace, contains the usual fittings, finely crafted for your convenience in Inform 7. You might have to leave quickly if the player has a phobia of such places. To the south is the entryway of The Computer Lady." East of Entrance is Main Office.

Main Office is a room. "You are in the heart of the business, the brain of any computer repair workshop. It's not like the IT department at the local school, where there's a hatch and someone sitting behind it, it's just a normal generic office. A radio is playing on a little table by the south-facing window, and sunlight bathes the room in soft, yellow light. To the southeast is a tiny kitchen, but customers will be instantly kicked out of it if they enter it. The west exit leads back to the entrance of the building. There is a beam holding up the roof in the middle of the room here. Off to one side you can see a desk with spare computer parts strewn about it. A tiny door leads south." Here is a beam. It is scenery. Instead of examining the beam, say "It's a massive wooden beam whose job it is to hold up the roof of this place. Before you came here, you read a review on TripAdvisor saying that the building is an old one, formally a council building." Instead of taking the beam, say "You can't possibly take that, can you? You'd have to rebuild the office if you did." Rocomputer is a man in Main Office. "A little computer runs around here." Understand "robot" or "robot computer" as Rocomputer. Instead of examining Rocomputer, say "He's a little racing computer with flames shooting out of his keyboard. On his screen, some text reads 'just drop your computer anywhere and we'll repair it.'" South of Main Office is Alison's Writing Room. Alison's Writing Room is a room. "A pleasantly furnished, if now mildewed, box room. There are engravings of Alison's heroes: Graham Nelson, Alan Turing, William Crowther and Marc Blank, an unlikely quartet. The wallpaper is done out in a dice motif, and a square outline of sixes surrounds a rather small door leading back north into the office.[line break]The room is empty of any furniture, but then again, the author of this game thinks that this place is cluttered enough, anyway. Another thing that isn't here is a comfortable bed, or windows overlooking a tiny balcony to the south, but that is because you're not in the attic of Meldrew Hall, nor are you cursed." West of Entrance is Conference Room.

Conference Room is a room. "This is where meetings, such as training or business meetings are held. In the centre of the room stands a large wooden table with ten chairs neatly placed around it, and on one wall is a television screen, where you could, if you wish, project your computer's visual display onto it. Yep, cool stuff. To the east is the entrance." The table is in the Conference Room. The table is a supporter in the Conference Room. On the table is a leaflet. Instead of examining the leaflet, say "WELCOME TO THE COMPUTER LADY![line break]The Computer Lady is a work of interactive fiction that was written in Inform 7 using playfic.com. If you have never in your life played a work of IF before, I recommend you play The Dreamhold by Mr Andrew Plotkin, (https://ifdb.tads.org/viewgame?id=3myqnrs64nbtwdaz) a wonderful tutorial that many newcomers play. I've tried to avoid coding really hard puzzles, partly because The Inform Recipe Book takes ages to read in one go and partly because I don't want you to quit halfway through. Remember what happened to your Apple II? I'll leave you to explore your surroundings now. Bye-bye." After dropping An Apple II: say "As you drop your Apple II, Rocomputer comes up to you, snatches the macintosh off the floor and runs away with it, almost colliding with a wall and nearly doing more damage to your poor computer than it needs. You then hear some strange sounds coming from the main office as Rocomputer repairs your machine. Later, a note is dropped through your door saying that due to your computer's age, it couldn't be repaired and had to be sent to Apple's headquarters in California to be recycled. (You didn't really want it anymore anyway, so you're glad to get it off your hands for once). In the meantime, you start coding your next interactive fiction game on your iPhone and soon you're famous all over the world for re-creating a genre of gaming that a community of writers are already doing right now."; end the game in victory.