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Retro Fatale
by
Aaron Arendt
Played 3,565 times
View game source
(spoilers!)
Download the
.z8 file
Source Code
"Retro Fatale" by Aaron Arendt Include Basic Screen Effects by Emily Short. Include Basic Help Menu by Emily Short. [* An extension that contains some boilerplate help text in a form compatible with the menu extension.] Understand "menu" as asking for help. The story headline is "A Deadly Game.". The story description is "For so long now that you can't even remember, some technological entity has stolen you, a la Captain N, into your collection of Video Games. Over and over again he's made you the protagonist, only to kill you when you try to face him as the last boss. Still, you soldier on. You figure, he's got to slip up sometime... This game was created for Game Game 2010, at rpgmaker.net". The story creation year is 2010. Use full-length room descriptions. Use the serial comma. the carrying capacity of the player is 3. The maximum score is 16. Instead of searching something: try examining the noun; say "You try to take a closer look."; continue the action. Instead of showing something to someone, try giving the noun to the second noun. instead of listening, say "You hear some generic chiptunes.[fixed letter spacing] Beep beep boop. Wakka CHHH boop.[variable letter spacing]" A person can be awake or asleep. A person is usually awake. Understand "massage [someone]" as massaging. Massaging is an action applying to one thing. Instead of massaging someone: if the massage book has not been handled, say "You don't know how."; otherwise continue the action. Instead of massaging someone, say "At the last minute you chicken out." Chapter 1 - Beginning Section 1 - Strange Room When play begins: choose row 1 in the Table of Basic Help Options; change description entry to "[bold type][story title][roman type][paragraph break][story description]"; say "How many times..."; wait for any key; say "How many times has it been![line break]He gets some kind of perverse pleasure from torturing you. From putting you through them, over and over again... You've lost track."; wait for any key; say "Your game collection.[line break]You figured it out after you died the third time. After that, you deluded yourself into thinking you might have some kind of chance.[line break]Ha![line break]You never have a chance. BFG 9000s, game breaking weapons, leveling up to level 99 - none of it has ever worked. But you still hope. Eventually, he's going to have to slip up, and put you in a situation he didn't anticipate. And then, you can get out of here forever..."; wait for any key. Strange Room is a room. "Your eyes try to focus on anything, but fail. There's nothing here but you. All you can see is static snow, like from an untuned television. It's above you, below you - all around you. A terrible din like a hundred hissing cobras fills your ears." The static snow is the scenery in the Strange Room. "It hurts your eyes to look at the static. You don't want to open your eyes, but maybe you should search for a way out." Instead of searching the static snow for the first time: change the outside exit of the Strange Room to the Dark Forest; change the inside exit of the Dark Forest to nowhere; say "You see a slight aberration in the static, it might be a way outside of this mess. You should try to 'go out'." Instead of searching the static snow, say "The aberration buzzes and shifts." instead of listening to the strange room, say "You can't hear anything else other than the hissing. Your ears are starting to hurt." After going to the Dark Forest for the first time: say "You push your body towards the aberration, and suddenly you feel as though your body is covered in pins and needles. You feel something like static shocks all over your body. You pass out."; wait for any key; say "[line break]You wake up in a strang(er?) place. You can't see static anywhere, or anything at all to suggest how you got here."; wait for any key; continue the action. Section 2 - Dark Forest Dark Forest is a room. "A purplish gloom hangs about, punctuated by oily pools of some strange yellow fluid you want no part of. Trees surround you, though they seem... strange. The ground is covered in thick grass. You can see a small opening in the trees to the north, where some light pours through." North is the Crossroads. Some trees are scenery in the Dark Forest. "Upon closer inspection, The trees are actually low resolution, pixelated tree knockoffs. You look at the world a bit more closely, and realize that everything is pixelated. That's new. How old is this game?" A strange fluid is scenery in the Dark Forest. "Ugh, looking at it makes you want to be sick." Some Grass is scenery in the Dark Forest. "Just plain old grass." understand "tree" as trees. understand "pools", "of", "yellow", "fluids", "oily" as strange fluid. understand "pixel" as pixels. instead of smelling strange fluid, say "What's the opposite of something that smells delicious? Oh yes, HORRIBLE. It's smells horrible. Don't you ever try to taste it.[line break]Ever." instead of tasting the strange fluid, say "You almost throw up, it's so horrible. HOW UNEXPECTED. Okay, I think you've had enough of the strange fluid, you should continue your journey of revenge." instead of drinking the strange fluid, say "You can't bring yourself to do it." instead of examining or searching the grass the first time: move bag of holding to player; award one point; say "You look through the grass, and eventually spot a brown bag. You pick it up.". understand "brown bag" as bag of holding. A television screen is in the Dark Forest. It is fixed in place. The initial appearance of the television screen is "A television screen floats in midair." instead of examining the television screen: say "The floating screen reads:[line break] 'Endless Fantasy Quest'[line break] 'Licensed by Nintendron'[line break] Oh great, not this game - you could never beat this game without cheating. Wait a minute - cheating!? Of course! Why didn't I think of it before! I've been trying to beat him by playing the rules all this time. It's time to break some rules and kick some ass. But how... There's got to be a way.[line break][line break]"; remove the television screen from play; say "After you read the screen it vanishes with a pop."; award one point. The bag of holding is a closed openable container. It is a player's holdall. The description is "It is a small brown bag. On the side it says 'Ye Olde Bage Ofe Holdinge.'" Inside the bag is a coin. The description of the coin is "A small coin, the size of a quarter. You can't tell exactly how much it is worth by just looking at it, but you can assume it's next to worthless." Section 3 - Crossroads The Outdoors is a region. The Crossroads, the West Bank, the newly-refurbished bridge, the ancient bridge, the cave entrance, the castle town gate, the east wall, the west wall, pixie forest, the Promenade, and the Beach are in The Outdoors. The sky is a backdrop. The description is "The sky is light blue. Tiny puffs of white and grey pixels, what you can only assume to be clouds, float on by lazily. Oh come on, the sun is square!" The sky is in the Outdoors. Some Pixels are a backdrop. "Everywhere you look are small blocks of colour, about a centimeter wide." Pixels are everywhere. Crossroads is a room. "You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze." There is a signpost that is fixed in place in the Crossroads. The description of the signpost is "It is a broad plank of wood nailed to a waist high post. It reads: 'North - Castle Town West - The Lamia's Cave and Evil Fortress East - Beach and Pixie Forest South - ...' The last direction is crossed out, and you can't read it." understand "sign" as signpost. Section 4 - West Bank The West Bank is a room. "You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach." The West Bank is east of the Crossroads. The river is a scenery in the West Bank. "The river isn't so much... flowing, as it is slowly changing graphical tiles. There are 3 tiles that rotate in a sequence." The ominous bridge is a scenery in the West Bank. "The bridge is narrow, but sturdy. It's colored various shades of grey in uneven blocks. It spans the river." The Troll is a person in West Bank. The initial appearance of the troll is "A Troll blocks the way across the bridge." He wears a loincloth and a skull belt. He carries a large oaken club. The description of the troll is "He's large, with green skin. His eyes are two small yellow pixels, and you notice two fangs. Somehow you can make out that he's wearing [a list of things worn by Troll] and carrying [a list of things carried by Troll]." Instead of going east in the west bank: if the troll is in the west bank begin:; if the troll carries the crystal skull begin:; say "The troll smiles, eyeing the skull, and allows you to pass."; continue the action; otherwise:; say "The troll blocks your progress. 'No, need shinies first!'"; end if; otherwise:; continue the action; end if. Instead of giving the crystal skull to the troll: say "The troll practically drools himself to death when he sees the skull. He takes it appreciatively, and stands aside."; award one point; change the initial appearance of the troll to "A Troll is here."; move the crystal skull to the Troll. Instead of listening to the river, say "Oddly, you don't hear the running water. Guess the programmers didn't think of that." Instead of listening to the West Bank, say "Oddly, you don't hear the running water. Guess the programmers didn't think of that." Instead of attacking the troll: if the player has the vorpal killing sword begin:; say "The troll is too enamoured with the crystal skull to notice you approach. Feeling your intent, the vorpal killing sword takes over your arm and expertly lops off the troll's head. The head splashes into the river. The troll staggers around for a few moments, before falling over the side of the bridge into the river."; remove the troll from play; say "[line break]You killed a defenseless Troll, congratulations."; if the throne room is visited begin:; change the west exit of the cave entrance to the newly-refurbished bridge; change the east exit of the newly-refurbished bridge to the cave entrance; end if; award one point; otherwise:; say "He laughs at you and pushes you away with his club."; end if. Instead of telling the troll about something, try asking the troll about it. After asking the Troll about "troll", say "He says 'I Need Shinies! Then you pass.'" After asking the Troll about "bridge", say "He says, 'You want pass? You have shinies?'" Instead of giving the key to the troll, say "The Troll backs away, saying ' Uaaagh! Worst Shiney Ever! Do Not Want!" Instead of giving the coin to the troll, say "The Troll just looks at you, eyes seeming to say 'Really? A lousy coin?' He throws it back at you, bonking you in the head with it. Grumbling, you pick it back up." Instead of giving the 7-coloured gem to the troll, say "He points to the gem, saying 'See this? Now think Shinier~!'" Instead of giving something to the troll, say "He looks at the [noun] appraisingly, before giving it back. I guess these aren[']t the shinies he[']s looking for." Section 5 - Beach The beach is a room. "The beach is nice, but the sand seems a bit too yellow. Some really low-res beachgoers have set themselves up along the ocean and wander around aimlessly. They don't notice you. To the north is the west bank of a river." The Beach is south of the West Bank. Sand is a scenery in the Beach. "Tiny blocks of yellow, yellow, and more yellow. Feels like regular sand on your feet. You wish you had a metal detector." Beachgoers is a scenery in the Beach. "Beach-going NPCs line the ocean, wandering in random directions. They ignore you completely." Ocean is a scenery in the Beach. "Every few seconds, the water washes up gently onto the shore. In the water, more NPCs wander aimlessly, holding various beach toys. You wish you could join them, but an invisible wall keeps you from getting too close." Invisible Wall is a scenery in the Beach. "This sort of thing is just plain hard coded into the game. You have no hope of getting past it, so you just give up." A Lounge Chair is an enterable supporter in the beach. "A simple white lounge chair sits in the sand. It looks inviting." instead of entering Lounge Chair: say "You decide to soak up some pseudo-rays."; continue the action. instead of getting off the Lounge Chair: say "Grudgingly you get back to the game."; continue the action. instead of searching the sand the first time: say "You pick some sand up in your hands, and it looks like you just raided your old stash of yellow legos. When you let the sand pour back, you find a rusty key. You take it."; move rusty key to player; award one point. The rusty key is a thing. The rusty key unlocks the teak door. The description is "Looks like your classic lazy key design. A loop at one end, and two blocky teeth at the other. It is the color of burnt umber, and feels coarse in your hand." Ashley is a woman in the Beach. The initial appearance of Ashley is "A woman by the name of Ashley is here, relaxing on the beach. She looks nervous." The description is "She is tall, brunette, and nicely oiled. She seems to be laying in a lounge chair[if Ashley carries the gaming book], reading a book[end if]. She's wearing [a list of things worn by Ashley][if Ashley carries the gaming book] but no top - She seems to be holding the book over her chest[end if]." She is wearing a bikini bottom. She carries the gaming book. The description of the gaming book is "It's says 'Player's Guide,' on the cover. Aside from some regular fluff, the book mentions that the Vorpal Killing Sword has a 10% chance of dropping when a pixie dies. You also notice that a page is missing from the book - it seems to have been ripped out."; instead of examining the gaming book: if ashley carries the gaming book, say "You can't read it from here. The cover says 'Player[']s Guide.' It is currently protecting a woman's virtue."; otherwise continue the action. Understand "player's guide", "guide" as gaming book. After asking the Ashley about "book/guide", say "She scoffs, 'It[']s currently in use, pervert!'" After asking the Ashley about "Player's guide", say "She scoffs, 'I don't care what it is, or why you need it - I need it more!'" After asking the Ashley about "bikini/top", say "She blushes and says, 'It - It got stolen, okay!'" After asking the Ashley about "bikini top", say "She blushes and says, 'It - It got stolen, okay!'" After asking the Ashley about "beach/sand", say "She says, 'I just wanted a nice tan... *whimper*'." After asking the Ashley about "boobs/tits/breasts/chest", say "She says, 'NO YOU CAN[']T SEE THEM!'" After asking the Ashley about anything, say "She moans, 'Just leave me alone!'" Instead of massaging ashley, say "She says, 'Don't get any ideas, Mister.'" instead of giving the bra to ashley: say "As you hand her the leather bra, she looks up at you like you're Santa on her first Christmas. She blubbers, 'Oh thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! ' She discretely puts on the bra. 'I've had enough of this beach for today, I think.' She walks off, Leaving the book."; remove the bra from play; move the book to the beach; remove ashley from play; award one point; Section 6 - Cave Entrance The Cave Entrance is a room. "Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads." A hand-made sign is fixed in place in the Cave Entrance. The description is "The sign is nailed to the side of cave entrance. Upon the sign, scrawled in scratch marks, reads 'Lamia[']s Cave: Men Only.' If you squint really hard, you can kind of make out a hand-scratched picture of a woman...thing, blowing you a kiss." The Cave Entrance is west of the Crossroads. A skeleton is a scenery in the Cave Entrance. "The bones are picked clean. All the bones are still intact, except the hips, which are shattered." The printed name of the cave entrance is "Cave Entrance". A female guard is a woman in the Cave Entrance. "A female guard stands in front of the entrance to the cave." The description is "She's wearing armor and everything. She looks pretty stern." Every turn when the player is in the cave entrance: if the female guard is in the cave entrance begin:; if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds, say "The female guard pines for a drink."; end if. instead of going south in the cave entrance: if the female guard is in the cave entrance, say "The guard stops you. 'On the King's orders, no man shall enter this cave.'"; otherwise continue the action; instead of asking the female guard about "cave/lamia/guard", say "The guard addresses you, saying 'Yeah, there's no way you're getting in here. Oh she'll send you to heaven alright... before she sends you to hell.'" instead of asking the female guard about "snoo snoo", say "She chuckles, saying 'Yeah, that's about the size of it.'" instead of asking the female guard about "alcohol/wine/beer/drink", say "Looking especially desperate, she says 'Oh man, do you have some? I've been out here all day...'" instead of giving the beer to the female guard: say "Barely a second after you offered her the drink she grabbed it and gulped it down at once."; move beer to the Inn; say "She belches loudly, and says 'Whew, I sure needed that. Thanks, citizen. Wow, that really made me sleepy. Screw the king, I'm going on a break!'"; say "She wanders off somewhere."; award one point; remove female guard from play. Section 7 - Lamia's Cave The Lamia's Cave is a room. It is south of the Cave Entrance. The description is "Pointy squares (rocks, you assume) and dirt are lit by light from the entrance, casting long shadows that pool into the back of the cave. There is a stairway down from here carved from the rock." Some rocks are scenery in the lamia's cave. The description of the rocks is "Really? You want to look at some rocks? Fine. Brown squares litter the room. Happy?" There is a torch in lamia's cave. The Cave System is a region. The Lamia's Cave, C1, C2, C3, C4, C5, C6, C7, C8, C9, and C10 are in the Cave System. The cave walls are a backdrop in the Cave System. The description of the cave walls is "The walls look wet and slimy." Understand "wall" as walls. Before printing the name of a lit torch, say "flaming ". Before printing the name of an unlit torch, say "extinguished ". Instead of burning the torch: say "You light [the noun]."; change the noun to lit. Instead of blowing out the torch: say "You put out [the noun]."; change the noun to unlit. Understand "blow out [something]" or "extinguish [something]" or "put out [something]" as blowing out. Understand the command "snuff" as "extinguish". Blowing out is an action applying to one thing. C1 is a dark room. It is down from Lamia's cave. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast." The hole is a scenery container. The hole is in C10. The 7-coloured gem is in the hole. the description of the gem is "A surprisingly high resolution sprite of a gem in the shape of a septagon. You almost believe it sparkles." C2 is a dark room. It is southwest from C1. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a passage northeast, and a passage south." C3 is a dark room. It is southeast from C1. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a passage northwest, and a passage east." C4 is a dark room. It is south from C2. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There are passages north, east, and west." C5 is a dark room. It is west from C4. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a passage east, and a passage south." C6 is a dark room. It is east from C4. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a passage west." C7 is a room. It is south from C5. The printed name is "Lamia's Bedchamber". The description is "Natural rocks walls give way to walls of mortar and stone. Flaming lanterns light the room. Here is where the Lamia sleeps, and holds her 'victims' until they are... ahem... dried out. You can leave her bedchamber to the north." The bed is a supporter in C7. The shackles are part of the bed. The description of the bed is "The bed is simple, but nice. It looks very comfy. Attached to the bed are shackles." The shackles are a thing. The description of the shackles is "The Iron shackles are attached to the bed. They are empty at the moment, but seem to be for her 'special guests.'" C8 is a dark room. It is east from C3. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There are passages north, west, and south." C9 is a dark room. It is north from C8. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "There is a passage south." C10 is a dark room. It is south from C8. The printed name is "Cave Passage". The description is "You can see a tiny hole in the corner, large enough to put your arm through.[line break][line break]There is a passage north." The Lamia is a woman. The description of the Lamia is "Man, she has got to have the highest resolutresolutionuion sprite of the game. Her top half is that of a woman. Her hair is purple, and her eyes are dark purple. She is sinfully curvy. Her bottom half is the tail of a snake, as big around as a pair of legs, and three times as long. She keeps it coiled under herself. The tail is covered in black and green scales. [if the lamia is wearing something]She is wearing [a list of things worn by the lamia].[end if][if the lamia has the flower] She is wearing the beautiful flower in her hair.[end if]". The Lamia is wearing a leather bra. The description of the bra is "A tiny bra, made of leather, with a metal clasp at the back." The Lamia is on the bed. Instead of going north in the c7: if the lamia does not have the flower, say "The Lamia won't let you leave."; otherwise continue the action. Every turn when the player is in the C7: if the lamia is not wearing the flower begin:; if the lf1 is switched off begin:; say "The Lamia grabs the shackles."; change the lf1 to switched on; otherwise:; if the lf2 is switched off begin:; say "The Lamia lunges at you with lust in her eyes, but you dodge her."; change the lf2 to switched on; otherwise:; say "She lunges again, but she misses, and in the confusion you run out of the room."; change the lf1 to switched off; change the lf2 to switched off; move the player to C5; end if; end if; end if. Every turn when the player is in the C7: if the lamia is asleep, say "The Lamia mumbles, [one of]'Zzzzzzz... ZZZZzzzz....'[or]'Zzzz... *snort*'[or]'Mmmm... Zzzz... Lower...'[or]'I lurvs massages... Zzz...'[in random order]". Instead of giving the flower to the lamia: say "Touched, the lamia drops the shackles and smiles. Nobody's ever been nice to her.[line break]She says, 'Is that for me? Thank you. I love flowers, but I never get a chance to see them in here.' She puts the flower in her hair. 'Does it look nice?'[line break] Relaxed, she returns to the bed."; change the lf1 to switched off; change the lf2 to switched off; award one point; now the the flower is worn by the Lamia; instead of asking the lamia about anything: if the lamia is asleep, say "You don't want to bother her."; otherwise continue the action; Instead of asking the lamia about "lamia/naga", say "She smiles, 'My name? It's Nagaluum Tesla Di Carabosse. But you can call me Naga, tiger.' *rowrr*". Instead of asking the lamia about "flower/flowers", say "She closes her eyes, 'I love flowers so much. Maybe I should move out of this cave... But it's so nice and *private*.'" Instead of asking the lamia about "boobs/tits/pussy/sex/love/breasts/dick/cock/penis/vagina", say "She smiles wickedly, 'Oh ho ho, naughty boy! I love it when you talk dirty!' Yeah, maybe a little too much..." instead of asking the lamia about "bed/shackle/shackles", say "She smiles, and twirls her fingers on her tail, 'Mmmmm, wanna closer look?'" Understand "naga" as lamia. instead of attacking the lamia, say "Now now, Mr. Barbarian - how about some tenderness." Instead of massaging the lamia: if the lamia has the flower begin:; If the lf1 is switched off begin:; say "She purrs, 'Oh my, well, if you insist.' She lays down on her stomach and waits for you. You start to rub her back, and makes little appreciative noises. She mumbles, 'I loves me some massages...'"; change the lf1 to switched on; otherwise:; If the lf2 is switched off begin:; say "She moans, 'Oh yeah, right there! Wait, hold on, my bra is in the way.' She slips the bra off, and lays back down. 'Okay, keep going.' *yawn*"; move the bra to the c7; change the lf2 to switched on; otherwise:; If the lf3 is switched off begin:; say "As you continue to rub her back, she quickly falls asleep."; say "[line break]Holy shit, you just sexed up a sexy monster girl. High five!"; award one point; now the lamia is asleep; change the lf3 to switched on; otherwise:; continue the action; end if; end if; end if; otherwise:; say "You don't want to go near her."; end if. Instead of taking the bra: if the lamia is awake begin:; say "She gets offended, 'Hey, that's mine!'"; change the lf1 to switched off; change the lf2 to switched off; if the lamia is not wearing the bra begin:; say "She puts the bra back on."; now the lamia is wearing the bra; end if; otherwise:; say "Taken."; move the bra to the player; end if. Instead of wearing the bra, say "You put on the leather bra. You feel pretty." Section 8 - Ancient Bridge The Ancient Bridge is a room. "A bridge, or what's left of a bridge, extends before you, leading to a dark castle. You can't cross it - the bridge has fallen into disrepair, and collapsed. You assume your nemesis is in that castle, pretending to be the final boss of this game, waiting for you. East will take you to the cave entrance." The broken bridge is a scenery in the Ancient Bridge. "The broken bridge is completely in shambles, and uncrossable. It looks salvageable, though - you might be able to find someone to repair it." The Ancient Bridge is west of the Cave Entrance. The printed name of the ancient bridge is "Ancient Bridge". Instead of going east in the ancient bridge for the first time: say "As you turn to leave, you kick something hidden in the grass. It is a Crystal Skull."; move crystal skull to ancient bridge. The crystal skull is a thing. the description is "The crystal skull is very heavy, but shines beautifully in the light. Though pixelated, it is still very creepy. It stares evilly into your soul." Section 9 - Newly-Refurbished Bridge The Newly-Refurbished Bridge is a room. "Excellent - the bridge has been newly-refurbished, and sturdy as anything. Now you can cross the bridge to the dark castle in the north. The cave entrance is east." The repaired bridge is a scenery in the newly-refurbished Bridge. "The Bridge has been newly-refurbished. It almost looks like they were trying to make it the next tourist destination." The printed name of the newly-refurbished bridge is "Newly-Refurbished Bridge". Section 10 - Pixie Forest The Pixie Forest is a room. The description of the Pixie Forest is "Pleasant aromas waft through the air. Flowers of every shade adorn the soft grass around the clearing, and tiny bright coloured pixels seem to endlessly float down from the sky and disappear. Covered in vines and muck are ancient ruins, long destroyed." The Pixie Forest is east of the west bank. The ancient ruins are scenery in the pixie forest. "Only a few crumblings stones remain, draped in foliage." The printed name of the pixie forest is "Pixie Forest". There is a beautiful flower in the Pixie Forest. The description of the beautiful flower is "It's a square of pink, with a yellow square in the middle. A green line you assume is the stem branches off from the head of the flower. Two darker green blobs are some leaves. It's a 'beautiful flower' all right." A Happy Pixie is a woman in the Pixie Forest. The initial Appearance is "A happy pixie floats around the flowers in utter joy." The description is "The sprite for the pixie (heh, sprite, pixie...) moves about the clearing, alternating between two tiles to show her wings move." After asking the happy pixie about "pixie", say "She flutters over to you. 'Hello! I LOVE flowers, don[']t you? La lala...'" after asking the happy pixie about "flowers/flower", say "She flutters over to you. 'Did you say flowers!? You like flowers? Me too! We have a lot in common.' She talks for a few moments about the flowers. You don't pay attention, until she says, 'Did you know that the Lamia loves flowers? She never gets to see them in her cave.'" after asking the happy pixie about "naga/lamia", say "She flutters over to you. 'She's my friend! She used to come here to look at the flowers.'" after asking the happy pixie about "death/dead/dying/kill/sword/pain/blood/die", say "She flutters over to you. 'Huh? I don't know anything about that. Is it a kind of candy? *gasp* IS IT A FLOWER!?' She begins to scare you." after asking the happy pixie about anything, say "She is too absorbed in her utter joy to notice you." A weapon is a kind of thing. The vorpal killing sword is a weapon. The description is "Even in all its pixellated shittiniess, this sword looks so badass Laharl would be using it. You wonder if it goes 'Snicker Snack.'" Instead of listening to the vorpal killing sword, say "Snicker Snack. Time to go galomphing home." Instead of cutting something: if the player has a weapon, try attacking the noun; otherwise say "You don't have a blade." instead of attacking the happy pixie: say "You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her."; say "'Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-' [line break]She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth.[line break]'You[']re a monster...'[line break]Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable."; say "Her body, and the blood, disappear slowly."; if the gaming book has been handled begin:; if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds begin:; say "The pixie you killed left behind a vorpal killing sword. A few celebratory notes, reminiscent of opening chest in a Zelda game, play upon the breeze. You sing to yourself 'you got the thiiiiing!'"; move the vorpal killing sword to the location; end if; end if; say "[line break]After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop, totally oblivious to your evil." Instead of massaging the pixie, say "You're pretty sure that would end up with a mangled pixie." Section 10 - Castle Town Gate The Castle Town Gate is a room. "A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall." The city wall is a backdrop. It is in the castle town gate, the east wall, and the west wall. "The great stone wall is high, imposing and unclimbable - it blocks you from entering the city completely." The castle town gate is north of the crossroads. The iron gate is scenery in the town. "The gate, made of sturdy iron, is made of thick iron bars. Through the bars, you can see the promenade to the north." The printed name of the castle town gate is "Castle Town Gate". the two guards are a person in the castle town gate. The initial appearance is "The two guards watch you closely." The description is "The guards are wearing highly polished armour - or would be, if it wasn't so dull. Really, those pixels are making it hard to see. They guard the gate." Instead of going north in Castle Town Gate, say "The guards stop you, saying 'By order of the king, no more people may enter today.'" understand "guard" as guards. after asking the guards about "gate/town/promenade/guards/guard", say "They say, 'Sorry, no admittance today. Come back some other time.'" Instead of attacking the guards, say "You try to attack the guards. They overpower you, and throw you to the ground. One of them spits on you, saying 'Piss off!' before rejoining his friend." after asking the guards about anything, say "They completely ignore you." The East Wall is northeast of the castle town gate. the printed name is "East Wall". the description is "There is nothing here but grass. Southwest is the gate." The West Wall is northwest of the castle town gate. The printed name is "West Wall". "There is nothing here but some off-colour shrubbery. Southeast is the gate." The shrubbery is a door and scenery. the description is "Lining the wall in a few places is thick shrubbery. It looks like you can squeeze yourself into the shrubbery.". The shrubbery is open. the shrubbery is not openable. The shrubbery is east of the west wall and west of the Promenade. instead of going east in the west wall: say "You find a way through the shrubbery and enter the promenade."; continue the action. instead of going west in the promenade: say "You find a way through the shrubbery and leave the town."; continue the action. Section 11 - Promenade The Promenade is a room. The description of the promenade is "Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along the west wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north." The printed name of the promenade is "Promenade". The NPCs are a scenery in the promenade. The description of the NPCs is "Various low-res townsfolk, mostly women, bustle about from shop to shop, wandering aimlessly, chatting with each other in a sublime example of computorial masturbation. You wonder if they still talk if you're not here to listen." Every turn when the player is in the promenade: say "You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, '[one of]Did you hear? The Troll has a fascination with death.'[or]Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' 'Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' Ugh... NPCs...[or]Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' 'Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' Ugh... NPCs...[or]I heard the apothecary has been neglecting his store and going to the beach lately.'[or]The Blacksmith gives good massages.'[or]That lazy king refuses to fix the bridge because his daughter's missing!'[or]Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' 'Hello!' 'Welcome to Castle Town!' Ugh... NPCs...[or]...That[']s nothing - The Lamia took my husband and both my sons! Beat that.'[in random order]". Section 11.5 - Well Cavern The town well is fixed in place in the Promenade. The description of the town well is "Why do towns in fantasy games always have wells? This one sits in the middle of the promenade, looking totally useless. It looks like you can climb down it.". understand "well" as town well. instead of entering the town well, try going down. The Well Cavern is a room. "Surprisingly, there is actually stuff down here. The well wall opens up into a cavern-like room. There is a bed, some chairs, a table, a lamp - all of it pretty dingy looking. There's a sign on the wall." Below the Promenade is the Well Cavern. The dingy bed is an enterable scenery supporter in Well Cavern. "Looks creaky. On second look, it has a bit of a theme to it. It's blue, and has slime mosters painted on it." The dingy chair is a scenery enterable supporter in Well Cavern. "They could fall apart any moment. On second look, they has a bit of a theme to it. It's blue, and has slime mosters painted on it.". understand "chairs" as the dingy chair. The Dingy Table is a scenery supporter in Well Cavern. "It's blue, with slime monsters painted on it. On the table is [a list of things on the dingy table]." the slime collection is a scenery on the dingy table. "Memorabilia with a Slime Monster theme dots the table, glitering in all it's creepiness." The lamp is scenery on the dingy table. "Bolted to the table, the lamp lights the room slightly." the welcome sign is a scenery in well cavern. "It reads: 'Slime Appreciation Zone,' and hangs on the cavern wall." Lord Bloop is a man in the well cavern. "Lord Bloop is here, looking at his collection." The description of lord bloop is "Lord Bloop is a portly man, garbed in mostly gold and blue, who seems to have an astounding fetish for slime monsters. He seems well kept enough, but for some reason chooses to live under the well. Occasionally his sprite sparkles, so he must be rich or something.". after asking lord bloop about anything, say "Lord Bloop replies, 'Fascinating, fascinating - but did you know that [one of]slimes of the blue family are rumored to be able to cure light wounds? The more you know, my friend! Oh ho ho!'[or]there are rumours of a slime with skin so tough that no weapon can cut them? Simply marvelous! Oh if I could only see one once...'[or]slimes make excellent, and loyal pets?'[or]once I had a dream where I turned into a slime! My colour was a forest green, and all the slimes of the forest came to play with me for hours and hours. I was so sad to wake up...'[in random order]" Before going somewhere in the presence of lord bloop: say "Lord Bloop calls to you, 'Feel free to come by again so we can talk about slimes some more!' Yeah right, buddy."; continue the action. Section 12 - Apothecary The Alleyway is a room. The alleyway is northeast of the Promenade. The description of the alleyway is "The rooves overhead seem to intersect, shutting out the sky. The only light comes from the promenade to the southwest." The teak door is a locked door. The description of the teak door is "A door made of teak wood. Above it, a sign reads: 'Apothecary.' On the doorknob is a sign saying: 'Closed.'" The teak door is northeast of the alleyway, and southwest of the apothecary. The apothecary is a room. "The store is deserted. Cobwebs inhabit the corners, and dust covers the shelves. The only thing of note is the counter, which has a box of free samples on it." The counter is a scenery supporter in the apothecary. The description of the counter is "A plain counter, covered in dust, with a sample box on it." The printed name of the apothecary is "Apothecary". The dusty shelves are a scenery in the apothecary. "Sorry folks, these shelves really are empty - except for all the dust, which you won't be needing." A sample box is a scenery container. The sample box is on the counter. The description of the sample box is "A box, labeled: 'Free Samples - Take One'[line break][if the sample box contains a thing]Inside is [a list of things in the sample box].[end if]". A potion is inside the sample box. The description of the potion is "The label reads: 'Extremely Mediocre Healing Potion'". Instead of drinking the potion: say "Oh well, down the hatch! You feel microscopically better."; move potion to sample box. Section 13 - Inn The Inn is a room. It is east of the Promenade. The description of the room is "The few lanterns that there are light the room dimly from the ceiling. This is really more of a bar than an inn, but whatever. Tables dot the floor, surrounded by patrons secretly discussing things, sipping rotgut beer. The proprietor of the Inn is nowhere to be seen. The promenade is west." Patrons are a scenery in the Inn. "A real ugly lot. They're too busy with themselves to notice you." The Inn Table is a supporter in the Inn. The description is "[']Tis a table, certainly, but it's certainly not impressive. The graphic designers didn't even draw any lines on it for the boards. It's just a yellowy brown. There is [a list of things on the Inn table] on the table." The beer is a thing. It is on the table. The description is "The beer smells pungent, and looks almost like those oily pools of yellow water you saw in the dark forest." Instead of drinking the beer: say "Against your better judgment, you drink the beer. You spend the next several minutes trying not to lose your lunch. You feel better, eventually."; now the beer is on the table. instead of tasting the beer, say "You're quickly losing your appetite." Instead of smelling the beer, say "The beer smells horrible. You hope nobody actually paid for this." The sleeping drunkard is a man on the table. He is asleep. The description is "Your classic medieval workman, drunk and asleep in a bar. His sprite alternates between two tiles, showing a snot bubble inflating and deflating. He's sleeping on the table." Every turn while the player is in the inn , say "The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: [one of]'Zzzz... C'mere... Hotstuff...'[or]'Up up... Down down...'[or]'ZZZzzz*burp*zzzz'[or]'That lamia... sure likes a massage...'[or]'Killing a troll... Zzz... Easy with a-zzzzz... Vorpal...'[or]'I don't wanna go to school mommy. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.'[in random order]". Instead of asking the sleeping drunkard about anything, say "You couldn't wake him with a gun shot." Section 14 - Blacksmith The Blacksmith is a room. It is northwest of the Promenade. The description is "This seems like a high class establishment. All around the room are hung low-res versions of classic weapons. Of particular note is an extremely well detailed, elegant sword. There is also a shelf here. The promenade is southeast." The elegant sword is a scenery in the Blacksmith. The description is "This seems to be the pride of the blacksmith. The sprite is so well detailed, it almost looks sharp. A sign below it says: 'Vorpal Sword of Killing - Price: Ask the smith.' That's never a good sign..." The book shelf is a scenery container in the blacksmith. The description is "A barely used shelf has many dusty books moldering upon it.[if the book shelf contains something] There is [list of things in the book shelf] in the shelf.[end if]" The massage book is a thing. It is in the book shelf. The description is "This book teaches how to give good massages. Hmm, good to know." Instead of taking the massage book: if the smith does not have the coin begin:; say "The smith stops you, 'Hey now hey now, hands off! Although... now that I think about it, I guess I don't need it anymore. Tell you what, pay me a coin, and I'll give you the book. Sound fair?' Actually, that does sound pretty fair."; otherwise:; continue the action; end if. The smith is a man in the blacksmith. The description is "A stout man, covered in soot. Looks rich and well fed." After asking the smith about "sword/vorpal/price", say "He says, 'Aye, a fine eye you have there. The Vorpal Killing Sword is an enchanted blade capable of killing almost anything! All for the low low price of 10,000 coin! What's wrong? You look a bit ill.'" After asking the smith about "book/massage", say "He looks wistfully into the distance. 'Ah, I[']ve had some good times with that, let me tell you![if the smith does not have the coin] But I don[']t really need it anymore. I[']ll sell it to you for a coin? And trust me, it[']s a bargain at any price.'[end if]" Instead of giving a coin to the smith: say "He pockets the coin quickly, 'Perfect! Fine doing business with you. Please, come again. Just take it off the shelf.'"; award one point; move coin to smith. Section 15 - Throne Room The Throne Room is a room. It is north of the Promenade. After going to the throne room for the first time: say "As you walk to the castle, some men in robes see you and pick you up, bright smiles on their faces."; wait for any key; say "They take you to the throne room of the castle, plop you down on the red carpet, and leave."; wait for any key; say "From the throne, the King says, 'Lo! The prophesied hero has come! We have waited for you for many years, great hero. Far to the west is an evil king, bent on the destruction of this land. Only you can kill him. For now, the bridge to his castle is broken, stemming the tide of his wrath, and protecting the unwary. I will have it fixed, but first you must prove thy worth by slaying the troll that guards the eastern bridge. Please, you must hurry, however. My daughter, Princess Penny, is held captive by that dark lord! Please, Slay the evil lord, and bring her back!'[line break][line break] That's it? No money, nor weapons? What a douche."; if the troll is not in the west bank begin:; say "[line break] Someone comes over to the king and whispers something in his ear. The king listens, clears his throat, and says 'Ahem... It seems you have already killed the troll... Great job. I[']ll just go and have the bridge fixed now...' Awkward silence."; change the west exit of the cave entrance to the newly-refurbished bridge; change the east exit of the newly-refurbished bridge to the cave entrance; end if; wait for any key; continue the action. Instead of going to the throne room: if princess penny is in the promenade begin:; move princess penny to the throne room; say "As you triumphantly walk the princess back to the king, Penny gives you a sad look and walks over to the king's side."; say "The king, overjoyed, embraces Penny. He says, 'Oh, thank you so much great hero! You've saved my only daughter, taken from me so long ago! Now, we make keep her here, save until her wedding day. Now she can finally marry prince Valium, and rule in my stead. But, lo, there is still work to be done, hero! Go, for the good of the kingdom, and destroy the evil overlord.'"; say "You stand there, like an idiot, dumbfounded at his douchiness' 'orders. Now, princessless, you have no choice but to kill your nemesis and get out of the game. You and penny say a sad farewell."; end if; continue the action. The description of the throne room is "A large opulent hall is lined with polished pillars of marble, and a royal red carpet that extends up to the throne." The royal throne is a supporter in the throne room. The description is "The graphics sparkle with dozens of gems embedded within the gold structure. The douchey king sits on the throne." The douchey king is a man on the royal throne. the description is "An old man, tired of his rule and lazy with good food, who loves his daughter dearly. He has a sparkly crown." The sparkly crown is a scenery in the throne room. The description is "Like the throne, this crown sparkles with several gems." after asking the king about "princess/penny/daughter": if princess penny is not in the throne room, say "He begs, 'My daughter, princess penny, is locked away in the evil lord's castle. Please Rescue her.'"; otherwise say "Thank you, again, for saving my daughter, so that she may marry Prince Valium and rule the kingdom in my stead." after asking the king about "troll": if the troll is not in the west bank begin:; say "He says, 'I have already heard that you killed the troll, and have ordered the bridge fixed. You may now go to the evil lord's castle[if princess penny is not in the throne room] and save my daughter[end if].'"; otherwise:; say "He says, 'He is east of the crossroads, in the west bank of the river. Slay him and prove your worth.'"; end if. after asking the king about anything: if princess penny is in the throne room, say "He shifts on his throne, 'There's no time for that, go save the kingdom!'"; otherwise say "He shifts on his throne, 'There's no time for that, go save my daughter, Princess Penny!'" Section 16 - Evil Castle The Evil Castle is a room. it is north of the newly-refurbished bridge. The description is "You are inside the evil castle. Spires, spikes, and spears seem to jut out of every surface. The only light comes from a stained glass window above a set of massive iron doors to the north. There is a purplish gloom hanging about everywhere, like a thin fog. To the east is a featureless door. To the west is a mysterious portal." The spikes are scenery in the evil castle. the description of the spikes is "All along the walls, on window sills, door awnings - spikes. You could hurt yourself sneezing here." The stained glass window is a scenery in the evil castle. the description of the stained glass window is "It's generic rpg fluff - some unidentified 'saint' is rendered, poorly, in the window. It's above the great iron doors." The gloom is a scenery in the evil castle. the description of the gloom is "A strange fog floats harmlessly about the room." The iron doors is a door and scenery. it is open. it is not openable. it is north of the evil castle. the description is "Two great iron doors, taller than two men, stand before you. You assume that your nemesis is just beyond them. You hope you've prepared enough." The printed name of the iron doors is "set of iron doors" The featureless door is a door and scenery. It is locked. it is not openable. it is east of the evil castle. the description is "This door is completely flat and smooth. There's no handles or knobs. To the side of the door is a panel." The panel is a scenery in the evil castle. the description is "The panel is a slight depression in the wall beside the featureless door. In the panel is a hole with seven sides. You think you can insert something in the panel." The mysterious portal is a door and scenery. it is open. it is not openable. it is west of the evil castle. The description is "A strange tear in the fabric of the game. You can see a room beyond it.". The printed name of the mysterious portal is "mysterious portal" The Guardian is a person in the evil castle. The description of The Guardian is "A large, hulking figure, seemingly comprised only of armour. It stands, blocking the entrance to the mysterious portal. Through the shadows of its visor you see a single yellow pixel, probably its eye. Carved on the armour is this:[line break][line break]'Tell me about the secret of nomaKi.'" The printed name of the guardian is "guardian standing in front of the mysterious portal" [understand "say up up down down left right left right b a start to [something]" as secreting. Secreting is an action applying to one thing. Instead of secreting anything, say "Nothing happens."] Instead of entering the mysterious portal in the presence of the guardian, say "The guardian does not allow you to pass." Instead of going west in the presence of the guardian, say "The guardian does not allow you to pass." Instead of asking the guardian about something, try telling the noun about it. Instead of telling the guardian about "up up down down left right left right b a start" for the first time: say "You hear a crescendo rise an fall, and the guardian nods approvingly, before vanishing into thin air."; award one point; remove the guardian from play. Instead of inserting the 7-coloured gem into the panel: say "The gem fits snugly into the hole. A moment after you place the gem in the hole, the panel opens and the gem disappears within before closing again. Various clicks sound through the walls. The featureless door unlocks and opens itself."; remove the 7-coloured gem from play; now the featureless door is unlocked; now the featureless door is open. understand "hole" as panel. Understand "spires/spears" as spikes. Section 17 - Dainty Prison Cell The Dainty Prison Cell is a room. It is east of the featureless door. The description of the dainty prison cell is "While this is functionally a prison, it is quite more aptly a room designed for a pretty princess. The walls are covered in pink wallpaper covered in very fine lacy curls. Plush toys litter the room. This is where the dark lord keeps the princess. A featureless door is to the west." The plush toys are a scenery in the dainty prison cell. The description of the plush toys is "Puppies, Kitties, Giraffes, Zebras, Bears - All Cute, all shaped like squares." The lacy bed is a supporter in the dainty prison cell. The description of the lacy bed is "It's a pretty, pink bed - lined with lace. Fit for a princess." After going to the Dainty Prison Cell for the first time: say "As you enter, you are assaulted with an array of plush toys to the face. You hear a sweet voice yell 'Out! Out! Outoutoutoutoutoutoutoutout!' In the corner you notice a shivering girl in a dress, closing her eyes and waving her arms around. You say, 'Well, okay, if you're sure. I'll just lock the door again...' In surprise, she opens her eyes and lets out an 'Eeep! Ohmygodimsosorry! I didn't- I shouldn't have- Oh, I'm sorry...' You tell her it's fine - plush toys don't hurt, and explain that you're here to rescue her. She smiles sweetly, blushes, and says 'Well, Mr. Hero, lead the way.'"; award one point; wait for any key; continue the action. Princess Penny is a woman in the dainty prison cell. "Princess Penny hangs by you, closely." The description of princess penny is "The king's daughter. She seems very sweet, and shy. Her hair is blonde, her eyes are green, and she's wearing a pink dress that screams high royalty. The ends were covered in white lace. Her smile is beautiful. She's very well detailed - you'd almost believe she was real..." Every turn: if the dainty prison cell is visited begin:; if princess penny is not visible begin:; if princess penny is not in the throne room begin:; say "Princess Penny runs after you."; move the princess to the location of the player; end if; otherwise:; if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds begin:; say "Princess Penny [one of]is startled by something, and looks around nervously.[or]hums to herself.[or]tries to look at your without being noticed.[in random order]"; end if; end if; end if. Instead of asking princess penny about "penny/princess", say "She smiles, 'Oh, well, I'm fine. *blush* Thank you for asking...'" Instead of asking princess penny about "princess penny", say "She smiles, 'Oh, well, I'm fine. *blush* Thank you for asking...'" Instead of asking princess penny about "king", say "She smiles, 'I knew he would find a way to rescue me! Eventually...' How long has she been a prisoner?" Instead of asking princess penny about "hero/self/me/yourself", say "She smiles, 'You certainly are a strange hero.' She seems to like you." Instead of asking princess penny about "lamia/naga", say "She fake smiles, 'You... you met Naga, did you?' She looks uncomfortable." Instead of asking princess penny about "evil/overlord/nemesis", say "Her smile falters somewhat, 'You mustn't fight him! He's unbeatable! Please, run away...' You though she said 'with me,' but you can't be sure." Instead of asking princess penny about "evil overlord", say "Her smile falters somewhat, 'You mustn't fight him! He's unbeatable! Please, run away...' You though she said 'with me,' but you can't be sure." Instead of asking princess penny about "troll", say "She smiles, 'You actually defeated the Troll!? Impressive!'" Instead of asking princess penny about "prison/cell", say "She smiles, 'It really wasn't so bad. Lonely though..." Instead of asking princess penny about "prison cell", say "She smiles, 'It really wasn't so bad. Lonely though...'" Instead of asking princess penny about "boobs/tits/pussy/sex/love/breasts/dick/cock/penis/vagina", say "She blushes madly, but mercifully pretends she didn't hear you." instead of asking princess penny about "prince/valium", say "Her smile falters abruptly, 'I don't want to talk about him.'" instead of asking princess penny about "prince valium", say "Her smile falters abruptly, 'I don't want to talk about him.'" Instead of massaging the princess: say "She blushes, saying, 'O-o-okay... If you insist...' and turns her back to you."; say "You massage the princess, keeping it very PG." Section 18 - Programmer Room The Programmer room is a room. It is west of the mysterious portal. The description of the programmer room is "The room is utter blackness all around. For some reason, it scares you, and you don't want to wander off in any direction. Lit as though from a spotlight, in the centre of the room you see a desk, a computer, and a man. On the desk is a stack of papers. The mysterious portal lies to the east." The desk is a scenery in the programmer room. The description of the desk is "A simple desk, holding up the computer. The programmer is sitting at it." The computer is a scenery in the programmer room. the description of the computer is "On the screen you can see... The code for this very game!? Woah, that opens up a whole existential dilemma you don't even want to start on. You completely forget about what you saw." The stack of papers is a scenery in the programmer room. the description of the stack of papers is "A stack of worthless papers with code samples, character speech, and the like written on them." The torn page is a thing. The description is "This seems to be the missing page from the Player's Guide. It reads: 'Cheater's Corner: If the last boss is proving too hard for you, there's a bug in the game that will make him a pushover. Since he has the most HP possible, giving him a simple potion will cause his HP roll over and go back to the single digits!' You laugh maniacally. This. Is. It. He's going down." Instead of examining the stack of papers for the first time: say "A stack of worthless papers with code samples, character speech, and the like written on them. On the top, you notice a strange, torn page that doesn't seem to belong. You pick it up."; move the torn page to the player; award one point. The game programmer is a man in the programmer room. the description of the game programmer is "Sleepy eyed, pale from lack of sunlight, he madly types away at his computer, oblivious to you." instead of asking the game programmer about anything, say "He mumbles something to himself, and doesn't look at you." instead of giving something to the game programmer, say "You wave it in front of his eyes. He doesn't notice." Section 19 - Dead Hall The dead hall is a room. The dead hall is north of the iron doors. The description of the dead hall is "This is the final area of the game, where the hero is supposed to defeat the overlord and win the game. But your nemesis has taken over this game, and so he stands before you instead. Everything here is blackness, except a light path that leads to him. You don't dare wander off into the darkness." The printed name of the dead hall is "Dead Hall". The nemesis is a man in the dead hall. The initial Appearance is "Your nemesis waits patiently for you here." The description of the nemesis is "He looks like a human male, but you're not fooled - he's some kind of data entity that captured you so long ago, and has been torturing you in your game collection ever since. He is not pixelated at all. He has black hair, brown eyes, and his skin is lined with glowing circuitry. He carries no weapon, because he doesn't need one." instead of asking the nemesis about anything, say "He laughs at you, 'Nothing you can say will make me let you go. Fight me, or leave. You're not going anywhere anytime soon!' He laughs out loud again." instead of giving anything to nemesis, say "He gives you a disappointed look, 'Bribery? Really? What would I possibly want with any of this pixelated junk.'" instead of giving the the potion to nemesis: if the torn page is handled begin:; say "You offer him the potion, pretending to be overconfident, saying you want a fair fight. He replies, 'Ha! You're starting to get a little nuts after all these years. And it has been years... Well, who am I to turn down such a gentlemanly gesture. You'll regret it all the more sweetly in the end.' He pops the cork, and drinks the potion in one swig before throwing the glass to the floor, shattering it. 'So, are you ready yet?' You smile wickedly. Oh, you're ready alright. You're going to die you bastard."; move the potion to the event room; award one point; end if; After going to the dead hall for the first time: say "As you enter the dead hall, in a flash of light, your nemesis appears before you. He bows extravagantly and begins his usual monologue. You always hate this part."; wait for any key; say "'Hello, dear friend! We meet again, this time, in such old fashioned circumstances.' He gestures to the pixelated landscape."; wait for any key; say "'I checked through your save files - you've never actually beaten this game before. I wanted to see if you could do better with circumstances being as they are. You certainly did it differently than I expected! Did you have fun? Did you have a good time?'"; wait for any key; say "'Ah, but all good things must come to an inevitable end - and painfully, in your case. Yes, I have the next game lined up already! You'll love it, I'm sure. But, I'm feeling charitable today, I'll let you have the first shot. If you're ready, strike the first blow. Otherwise, go off and level up or something... I'll be right here...' He laughs hysterically. You hope you know what you're doing."; wait for any key; continue the action. instead of attacking nemesis: say "This is it. This is for all the bananas. You put yourself into a stance, put all the anger and weariness of this long and terrible journey into one final, true blow. You strike while your nemesis stands there smiling, oblivious."; wait for any key; if the potion is in the event room begin:; say "Your terrible blow rings out across the room, sending your nemesis flying back. Dumbfounded, he stares at his crumbling body in amazement. 'H-h-how? I own this world... all the worlds... You were supposed to... *cough* *sputter* ...forever...'"; wait for any key; say "Gasping for breath, he tries to crawl away from you - desperate for an escape. Slowly, making sure he can hear every ominous footstep, you walk in front of him. You say, 'Did you have fun?' You stomp on his fingers and he cries out."; wait for any key; say "'Did you have a good time?' You punch him in the face. You get down on your hands and knees, and bring your face up close to his ear, and whisper, 'That feeling? That's called pain. But unlike you, I am merciful. You only have a few more seconds of agony before I put you out of your misery.'"; wait for any key; say "He begs for his life, promising to run away and never bother you again. He promises to give you anything you want. Slowly, you stand up again, and look down at him. You consider it for a moment, then smile at him. 'No, the only thing I want from you is to finally be able to say this: Go to hell, you bastard.' Before he can say anything else, you perform the coup de gras."; award one point; wait for any key; say "Now that he is dead, the world begins to shake. All the pixels begins to white out, one by one. Eventually the world world is white, except for you[if princess penny is in the dead hall] and Penny[end if]."; wait for any key; if princess penny is in the dead hall begin:; say "The two of you run to each other. She asks, 'What's going on? I'm scared.' You hold on to her and say, 'I don't know. I think I'm returning to my world.' She looks at you, eyes pleading, 'Will I... disappear too? I don't... I want to go wherever you go!' You look at her, and see that the pixels of her body are dissolving."; wait for any key; say "You say, 'Don't disappear on me, Penny!' Without a second thought, you wrap your arms around her tight and close your eyes, wishing for her to stay, hoping for her to stay. The world seems to dissolve into a haze of white..."; wait for any key; say "You open your eyes, and you're back in your home. The TV is on, showing static on the screen. But your eyes are drawn to the now very real Princess Penny. Even more beautiful in reality, she smiles at you, and looks around in wonder. 'What is this place? Is this a dream?' she asks. You take her hand and say, 'No. No more dreaming. It's time to wake up, and start a new journey. Do you want to come?' She grabs your hand tightly, 'Yeah, I do.' Suddenly you realize you never told her your name! You lead her outside, and say 'By the way, by name is-'"; wait for any key; award one point; wait for any key; end the game in victory; otherwise:; say "Your body starts to disappear as well. You close your eyes, resigned to either destruction on escape. The world seems to dissolve in a haze of white..."; wait for any key; say "You open your eyes, and you're back in your home. The TV is on, showing static on the screen. Finally... Finally you've escaped your own personal hell. You walk over to the front door and greet the world anew."; wait for any key; end the game in victory; end if; otherwise:; say "Your blow is pathetic and doesn't phase your nemesis at all. He smiles arrogantly, 'Honestly, what did you expect?' He cracks his knuckles slowly, one at a time. Drawing out the inevitable."; wait for any key; say "He punches you in the solar plexus and sends you flying through the air. Your body is wracked with pain, and you're unable to move. Slowly he walks over to you, and whispers into your ear 'Ready for the next one?' He strikes you again, killing you."; say "Your eyes try to focus on anything, but fail. There's nothing here but you. All you can see is static snow, like from an untuned television..."; wait for any key; end the game in death; end if. Section Extras The Event Room is a room. The lf1 is a device in the event room. The lf2 is a device in the event room. The lf3 is a device in the event room.
