Free Parking by Jim Green

Free Parking

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"Free Parking" by James Byron Green

The story headline is "An Interactive Third Roll Of Doubles."

When play begins , say "The letter came Federal Express.  Things that come from Federal express are usually really good,  or really bad, you recall the Fed Ex from the lawyers at DirecTV.  You are still unclear where you stand in this instance. The was a note from a long lost uncle.  An Uncle you do not recall. An Uncle Pennybags. Mr. Pennybags was very vague in the letter, he wants you to visit, and help him in some sort of real estate project.  No other details were given. You can not stop thinking about it, the last line in his letter it promised  'You will be rewarded fully for your help if successful.' Getting rewarded fully is a fine prospect right now.   Very fine indeed....[paragraph break]Editors note: This is not complete, it may never be, just an idea that I ran with.  Thanks for bearing with me.  JBG[paragraph break]"

Understand "xyzzy" as a mistake  ("[one of]really, xyzzy? Are you serious. I certainly didn't think you would mention that, and what's more surprising is the fact that the wretched author had the ability to code a response. Seriously, have you seen some of his descriptions?  Hey buddy, hows the 4th grade goin for ya?[or]<sigh>... you just had to go there didn't you, come back to this century lil retronaut.[or]That was funny the 359th time I  heard it. [or]uggh is there anything worse than an IF hipster?[at random]").
Understand "plugh" as a mistake ("[one of]A Hollow Voice says PHULE!!!.[or]Oh my we have got us a tricksy one here we do.[or]A hollow Voice says 'I do not dance like a monkey for every adventurer that passes by[or]Holy crap, the sky's light up with fireworks, you have won the game!!! Not.  Seriously, the last time someone said plugh was like 1981.  The Hollow Voice can't even get audiobook work these days. So keep your magic words to yourself buttnutt.[or]Cease Cretin![at random]").

The description of the player is "Out of work. No prospects for the immediate future.  How has it come to this?  If Uncle Pennybags is satisfied with your help, it can be the kickstart your rudderless life so desperately needs!"

The player carries the wallet.  The wallet is a closed openable container. The wallet is scenery. "Within your wallet, you have the following.[paragraph break]2 $500.00 bills.[line break]2 $100 bills.[line break]2 $50 Bills.[line break]6 $20 Bills.[line break]5 $10 Bills.[line break]5 $5 Bills[line break]5 $1 Bills.[paragraph break] Great googly moogly!  Thats fifteen hundred bucks! You are just now noticing the pastel colors  of the billls. Kinna looks like Monopoly money.  HEY!!!! Wait a minute!!!"

GO is a room.  "You are in a square room with a large sign. Lettering above the long red arrow implores you to 'collect 200 as you pass'.  You note that this square is a bit bigger than the others.  And you can only go forward to the north. Off in the distance you see [one of] a silver thimble.[or]a race car[or]an iron.[or ]a miniature scottie.[or]a battleship.[or]a old style boot.[or]a top hat.[or]a wheelbarrow[at random] It seems to be made completely of silver. Thats [one of]quite a sight![or]not something you see every day.[or]tripindicular![or]hopefully the weirdest thing you see all week.[at random]"

[ This section is attempting to describe something before and after it is broken. This example does not even fit in this game, I just remmed it out so i wont forget it.  
The ceramic soccer trophy is here. The ceramic trophy can be broken or unbroken. The description is "This yellow and black kiln fired ceramic trophy is [if broken]chipped and cracked. A victim of an uncaring  oak with the dexterity of a drunk elephant.[otherwise]a beautiful work of art[end if]." Understand "ceramic" as the ceramic trophy. Understand "chipped" and "cracked" as the ceramic trophy when the trophy is broken. Instead of dropping trophy, say "It falls out of your fumbling fingers and smashes ito a million pieces." The trophy is broken.]

Community Chest is a room. it is north of GO. "You are standind at the foot of what can only be described as a large treasure chest.  The keyhole adorning the front is bigger than your head. A neat pile of yellow cards are on the ground, surrounded by a dotted line. Once again, at the edge of your vision, you see  [one of]a silver thimble.[or]a race car[or]an iron.[or ]a miniature scottie.[or]a battleship.[or]a old style boot.[or]a top hat.[or]a wheelbarrow[at random] there is something about these silver objects, it is on the tip of your tounge, you just cant reason it out." The Stack of Cards are here. The Stack of Cards are scenery. "A stack of yellow cards are here.  They seem to be face down. AUTHORS NOTE Ihave no clue where this is going."  Understand "stack", and "card" as The Stack Of Cards. The Treasure Chest is here. The Treasure Chest is a container. The Treasure Chest is closed and locked. The Treasure Chest is scenery. The description is "A gorgeous, fine crafted Treasure Chest. The  keyhole is gigantic. Attention to detail and the sheer quality of the chest, is an example of craftsmanship not longer found in this realm." Understand "large", "treasure", and "chest" as the Treasure Chest.
Reading Railroad is a room. It is north of Community Chest. "Your northerly trek has brought you parallell with a set of ancient rail road tracks. Down further is a small building with a single window and door.  Emblazoned on the door is Reading Railroad - For Sale by owner. Did you know railroads are realizing maximum profits. Those that own 3 or 4 Railroads will surely end up tycoon." Railroad tracks are scenery in Reading Railroad. "These well engineered tracks have held up with time. At one point the life blood of the country.  Now, no more than a small glimpse into yesteryears technology,  You notce one of the spikes is not level with the other ones." Understand "spike", "railroad", and "track" as the railroad tracks. Instead of examining the railroad tracks: 
	say "Spikeu spike."
Free Parking is a room. It is north of Reading Railroad. "As you follow the path, passing properties such as the Old St. James Place., Virginia Avenue.  There is a big neon sign flashing 'Free Parking.'"