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sanic
by
Orteil
Played 3,382 times
View game source
(spoilers!)
Download the
.z8 file
Source Code
"Sanic the hedgefast" The maximum score is 17. The description of the player is "You are Sanic, the hedgefast. You have stylish blue fur and wee little gloves. You go fast. That's what you do." The player is wearing the wee little gloves. The player is wearing the wee little shoes. Limbo is a room. The Green hill zone is a room. "[if green hill zone is unvisited]You are Sanic, the hedgefast. You are in the Green hill zone.[otherwise]You are back in the Green hill zone.[end if] It is green, and hilly. It is lined with PALM TREES.[line break]If you go fast to the EAST, you will find yourself in the Marble zone." The player is in the Green hill zone. A ring is a kind of thing. The description is "A twinkly gold ring. You need those." After taking a ring: say "The ring makes a twinkly noise." Understand the commands "collect" and "grab" as "take". 10 rings is in limbo. 3 rings are here. A palm tree is a kind of thing. The description is "A tall tree with geometric leaves." It is scenery. Understand "palm trees" as a palm tree. 3 palm trees are here. The Marble zone is a room. It is east of the Green hill zone. "You arrive in the Marble zone. It is marbly. Around you, you see pools of LAVA, and a number of SPIKES.[line break]WEST of here is the Green hill zone. UP on a marbly cliff, you see Shrek's hut. Continuing EAST would lead to the Spring yard zone." 5 rings are here. A pool of lava is a kind of thing. The description is "A pool of burning hot lava. It looks pretty warm." It is scenery. Understand "lava" as a pool of lava. Understand "pools of lava" as a pool of lava. A spike is a kind of thing. The description is "A sharp, metal spike. You probably shouldn't sit on this." It is scenery. 3 pool of lava are here. 5 spikes are here. Shrek's hut is up of the marble zone. "A dank-ass hut in a dank-ass swamp. Going DOWN the cliff will lead you back to the Marble zone." Shrek is a man. "Shrek stands tall. A green-ass ogre with majestic trumpet ears; his nose wax twinkling in the candlelight. Thinking about him brings up many confusing emotions in your young hedgefast loins." Understand "ogre" as Shrek. He is in Shrek's hut. After doing something to Shrek: say "Shrek blushes and smiles at you lightly." After giving something to Shrek: say "Shrek blushes and smiles at you lightly." Instead of giving something (called the gift) to Shrek: say "Shrek smiles but refuses [the gift]." Instead of giving the empty plate to Shrek: now the plate is in limbo; now a random ring in limbo is carried by the player; say "Shrek gazes deeply into your eyes, and delicately takes the plate from you. You watch in awe as Shrek swallows the plate whole; his big ogre belly then starts to glow, and - it's a miracle![line break]Shrek hands the warm new ring to you.". Instead of kissing Shrek: say "Your hand lingers on Shrek's waxy cheek. His sad ogre eyes lock in with yours; you lean in for a kiss. Your lips meet - an enthralling sensation : the subtle grooves of his skin, the faint aromas of old cheese grazing your tongue... You could get used to this." Understand the command "fuck" as something new. Fucking is an action applying to one touchable thing. Understand "fuck [something]" as fucking. Understand "have sex with [something]" or "make love to [something]" or "fuck [something]" or "boink [something]" or "shag [something]" or "sex [something]" or "penetrate [something]" or "violate [something]" or "rape [something]" as fucking. Check an actor fucking : if the noun is not a person, say "After consideration, [if the actor is the player]you[otherwise][the actor][end if] decide[if the actor is not the player]s[end if] not to fuck [the noun]." instead. Carry out an actor fucking something : if the noun is a person: say "[The actor] and [the noun] have sex.[if the actor is the player]A myriad of new sensations course through your intertwined bodies as your groins bump wetly against each other.[end if]"; Instead of the player fucking the player : say "That's right, you can just go fuck yourself." instead. A person has a number called health. A person usually has health 3. Understand the command "hit" or "punch" or "kick" or "attack" or "kill" or "torture" as something new. Hitting is an action applying to one touchable thing. Understand "hit [something]" as hitting. Understand "punch [something]" or "kick [something]" or "attack [something]" or "kill [something]" or "punt [something]" or "maim [something]" or "torture [something]" or "destroy [something]" as hitting. Check the player hitting : if the noun is not a person, say "You don't want to take out your anger on inanimate objects, do you?" instead. Carry out an actor hitting something : let the foe be the noun; if the foe is a person: say "[The actor] hit[if the actor is not the player]s[end if] [if the noun is the player]you[otherwise][the foe][end if] square in the [one of]chest[or]legs[or]nads[or]chin[or]arm[or]ass[or]skull[at random]. [The foe] writh[if the actor is not the player]es[end if] in pain."; decrement the health of the foe; if a random chance of 1 in 2 succeeds: say "[The foe] retaliates!"; try the foe hitting the actor. Instead of the player hitting the player : say "Hitting yourself, now? What could be going on in your silly hedgefast head?" instead. A table is fixed in place in Shrek's hut. The description of the table is "A short little table of old gray wood." An earwax candle is on the table. The description of the candle is "It is sizzling queasily. A few ear hairs stick out here and there." Mom's spaghetti is on the table. The description of the spaghetti is "This is a plate of mom's spaghetti. It smells like tomato sauce and stale memes." It is edible. An empty plate is in limbo. After eating mom's spaghetti: say "You gulp down the spaghetti. Your knees feel weak."; now the empty plate is carried by the player. 1 ring is in Shrek's hut. Before going down in Shrek's hut: say "Before leaving, you whisper in Shrek's ear : 'I'm sorry Shrek, but my time here is ogre.'" The Spring yard zone is a room. It is east of the marble zone. "You are in the Spring yard zone. It is full of shiny bumpers and flashing lights. WEST of here is a trail back to the Marble zone. You can also see a finish line to the EAST. Crossing it would surely mean a swift victory." 7 rings are here. A bumper is here. It is scenery. Understand "bumpers" as a bumper. Understand "lights" as a bumper. "Whirring, blinking, buzzing implements carpet the level." A person can be alive or dead. A person is usually alive. Every turn : if the player is dead: say "[if the player carries a ring]Rings burst noisily out of your soft hedgefast body. You lose [a list of carried rings].[end if]"; now all rings carried by the player are off-stage; now the player is alive. Every turn : let the group be the list of people in the location of the player; repeat with The guy running through the group: if the health of the guy is less than 2, say "[if the guy is the player]You are[otherwise][The guy] is[end if] bleeding profusely." Instead of touching a pool of lava: say "The flesh melts off your hedgefast bones. Way to go, Sanic."; now the player is dead. Instead of touching a spike: say "You decide to sit your hedgefast ass on the spike. A mild feeling of regret strikes you as the cold metal spike pierces through your intestines. Good fucking job, Sanic."; now the player is dead. The finish line is a room. It is east of the Spring yard zone. Instead of going to the finish line: increase the score by the number of rings carried by the player; say "You step through the finish line (fast). You wag your finger the sassiest way you know. You go, Sanic!"; end the game in victory.
