Stars and Butts [ Touhou Fan-game ] by Drako Connail

Stars and Butts [ Touhou Fan-game ]

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"Stars and Butts" 

Use no scoring. 

Include Exit Lister by Eric Eve.

When the entire game begins: say "Your name is Kirisame Marisa, and you are an ordinary magician that lives in the Western Forest of Magic. West of you is the Foot of the Youkai Mountain. South of you is Yuuka's flower field. East of you is your neighbor and fellow magician, Alice Margatroid.

Today is Alice's birthday, and you need to find her a present! You need to explore Gensokyo to find a present--or, failing that, go speak to Alice. Maybe something good will come of out it.[line break][line break]To move, type the direction you wish to go in: n, e, s, or w. To examine something, type 'x-insert object/self/person.' To check your inventory, type 'i'. To speak to an NPC, type 'ask/tell--person--something'."

Understand "talk to [someone]" as a mistake ("To start a conversation, try to ASK [the noun] ABOUT something or TELL [the noun] ABOUT something.").

Understand "ask [someone]" as a mistake ("To start a conversation, try to ASK [the noun] ABOUT something or TELL [the noun] ABOUT something.").

Understand "tell [someone]" as a mistake ("To start a conversation, try to ASK [the noun] ABOUT something or TELL [the noun] ABOUT something.").

The description of the player is "[if we have not examined the player] You are as blonde and beautiful as always. Your magnificence cannot be measured in mortal units; as such, you must settle for being 'awesome', 'gorgeous', and 'absolutely fuckable'. You are wearing your hat, and a little fanny-pack around your middle." 

The player is wearing a hat and carrying a pack. The pack is a player's holdall. The pack is wearable.

The description of the hat is "Your trusty hat. You never go anywhere without it, because your hat keeps you calm. It is your friend, and Heaven help anyone who dares to touch it without permission." 

The description of the pack is "The little pack that Mima-sama gave you when you were still a kid. It used to seem a lot bigger when you were little. But now that you've enchanted it with a hammerspace spell, it really is bigger! On the inside, that is."

Dancing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "dance" as dancing. Instead of dancing, say "You shake what your hot, Portuguese mother--bless her soul--gave you in what is known as the 'Kirisame Mating Ritual'. It's very sexy."

Smiling is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "smile" or "grin" or "smirk" as smiling. Instead of smiling, say "You flash your pearly whites at whatever happens to be in the vicinity. The vicinity proceeds to swoon." 

A butt is a kind of thing. A butt is a part of every person.  Understand "ass" or "bottom" or "butt" as a butt. The description of the player's butt is "Your glorious, bloomer-clad butt. It is invincible, and is a source of much envy."

Western Forest of Magic is a room. "You are south of your messy, horribly cluttered house. You wonder if you can find a suitable present for Alice in there."

Your house  is a closed door. Your house is north of the Western Forest of Magic. 

Your living room is a room. Your living room is north of your house.

"You enter your house and step into your living room, but as soon as you do, a massive tower of stolen junk crashes right in front of you. You dodge the falling debris, as you are not willing to be squashed. Especially not on Alice's birthday--her mother will never let you live it down."

Your workshop is east of Your living room. 

Your table, workbench, and chemistry set are fixed in place in Your workshop. A basket of mushrooms is on your table. A basket of mushrooms is edible. After eating a basket of mushrooms, say "They're a little dirty, but very filling! Oh, but that was the last of your supplies. Better go pick more later on..."

Your bedroom is north of Your living room. 

Your bed, a storage chest, and a desk are in Your bedroom. "Your cozy, comfy bed looks really inviting right now, but you refuse to rest. Not until you've found Alice a present. You wonder if there's anything of value in your storage chest, or maybe in one of the desk's drawers." 

The drawer is a part of the desk. The drawer is a closed, openable container. In the drawer is a knife and a Mima-figurine. On the desk is a book about magical theory. 

The description of a Mima-figurine is "A little statuette of your beloved mentor. You're not sure if you want to give this to Alice." 

The description of a knife is "A knife. It's a nice knife, very shiny. Borrowed from Sakuya herself! You're rather proud of this knife." 

The description of a book about magical theory is "A book about elemental magic, taken from the Voile Library. This would make a good present for Alice, but knowing her, she'd probably return it to Patchouli, once she's done making a copy of it." 

 Alice's House is a room. Alice's House is east of the Western Forest of Magic. 

"Alice is sitting on a stool in front of her house. A book is in her lap, and she waves at you without looking up. You wonder--briefly--if her eyes are as dexterous as her fingers. You don't think you want to know."

Alice is a person in Alice's House. The description is "Your neighbor. It's her birthday, and she looks expectant. You'd better have a present ready for her!" 

The description of Alice's butt is "Alice has a nice ass. Not as nice as yours, but still  nice. Ah, butts. You love butts." 

Understand "give Alice something" as giving Alice something. Giving Alice something is an action applying to one visible thing.

Understand "book" as a book about magical theory. 

Instead of giving a book to Alice:
say "'What's this for? Oh... my birthday? But Marisa, my birthday passed months ago. Don't you remember celebrating it with me? Ah, no matter. Thank you for the gift, Marisa.'" ;
now Alice has a book about magical theory; end the game in victory.

Instead of giving an interesting object to Alice: 
say "'... Why are you giving me such a disgusting thing? Ugh, it's used too...'"

Instead of giving a Mima-figurine to Alice: 
say "'You're giving me this? But... why would I even want this? Actually, why would this woman even [italic type]have[roman type] a figurine of herself? Take this back, Marisa. I don't want it.'" 

Instead of asking Alice about something: 
say "'Oh, Marisa. I forgot to tell you something; today isn't actually my birthday. Aya got the date wrong, though I wonder why you'd even listen to her in the first place... '" 

After asking Alice about something: say "You laugh, but feel a little regretful that it isn't Alice's birthday. And just when you'd found the perfect present for her too: yourself~"; end the game in victory.  

Yuuka's flower field is south of the Western Forest of Magic.  "You are in Yuuka's flower field--don't touch anything! Yuuka will hurt you if you do." 

Yuuka is a person in Yuuka's flower field. Yuuka can be calm, angry, or annoyed. Yuuka is calm. The description is "The Flower Master of Four Seasons is smiling at you. You feel distinctly uncomfortable..." 

After examining Yuuka:
say "When she catches you looking at her, [The noun]'s smile changes into an unnerving smirk."  

her sunflowers are objects in Yuuka's flower field. The sunflowers are inedible. 

Understand "flowers" as her sunflowers.

The description of Yuuka's butt is "You can't see the outline of her butt very well. You remember back when she used to wear tight pants. Ah, those were the days." 

Instead of asking Yuuka about something:
say "'Why are you asking me about something like that? Say, isn't it Alice's birthday? You should be out looking for a present, instead of talking to me.'"; now Yuuka is annoyed.

Instead of asking an annoyed Yuuka about something: 
say "'Are you still here? Get moving, little Marisa, before I show you what a real Master Spark looks like.'" 

Instead of telling Yuuka about something:
say "'Don't you have other things to be doing, little Marisa? Honestly, not even Mima was as flighty as you are.'"; now Yuuka is annoyed. 

Instead of telling an annoyed Yuuka about something:
say "'While I do enjoy your company, little Marisa--wait, that's a lie--unless you wish to subject yourself to my... whims, you really ought to leave now, before I get angry.'" 

Instead of taking her sunflowers:
say "As you pluck the sunflowers from the rich, fertile soil, a horribly strong hand grips your shoulder. You turn around, startled, and see that the hand belongs to Yuuka. She is smiling menacingly, and gestures towards your hand. You have broken the 'look but don't touch' rule of Yuuka's flowers. Why did you break that rule? You knew Yuuka would hurt you. Now you're going to die. Great job, Marisa."; end the game in death.  

The Foot of the Youkai Mountain is west of the Western Forest of Magic. "You are at the foot of the Youkai Mountain, home of the nosy tengu and the innovative kappa. Oh, and that new shrine maiden too."

Nitori is a person in the Foot of the Youkai Mountain. "Your old friend Nitori is standing by the base of the mountain, muttering to herself as she tinkers with various shiny tools. Oh, shiny. You like the shiny. You are tempted to take... whatever it is Nitori is fiddling with, but you know from experience that she will react violently if you do. It'll probably be a good idea to leave her alone." 

Description of Nitori is "Your kappa friend. Can be a bit creepy when you mess with here stuff. Real nice otherwise, though."

Nitori's scrap-pile is in the Foot of the Youkai Mountain. Nitori's scrap-pile is fixed in place. On Nitori's scrap-pile is a interesting object.  A interesting object is a device. 

The description of an interesting object is "It's a strange cylinder with curved ends. A little switch is at the lower end of the cylinder. You wonder what it does. Maybe you should switch it on?" 

Instead of switching on the interesting object: 
say "It vibrates violently in your hand."

Instead of switching off the interesting object: 
say "It stops vibrating."

The description of Nitori's butt is "An alright butt. Lot's of cushioning. Nitorin's going to make some lucky kappa a very happy person someday." 

Instead of asking Nitori about something:
say "'Eh? Oh, Marisa! Can you come back later? I'm busy right now.'"

Instead of telling Nitori about something:
say "'Marisa, I'm really, really busy! Not now!'"  

The Top of the Youkai Mountain is a room. The Top of the Youkai Mountain is north of the Foot of the Youkai Mountain. "You fly up to the top of the Youkai Mountain. You zoom past Momiji, who is too preoccupied with that busybody crow, Aya, to chase after you. You are, for once, thankful for her presence.  What has the world come to? The Moriya Shrine is north of the top of the Youkai Mountain, and you wonder if you should visit Sanae and her goddesses." 

The Moriya Shrine Grounds is north of the Top of the Youkai Mountain. 

Sanae is a person in The Moriya Shrine Grounds. 

The description of Sanae is "A shrine maiden from the Outside World. Reimu's friendly rival. Not as lazy as her, but certainly ditzier." 

The description of Sanae's butt is "Nice, perky ass. Very nice to look at." 

The Moriya Shrine Grounds is a room. The Moriya Shrine Grounds is south of the Moriya Shrine Porch and north of the Top of the Youkai Mountain. "Sanae is sweeping leaves in the courtyard. She has a strange device covering her ears, and is singing. Sanae doesn't seem to be able to hear you, but when you wave to her, she waves back with a goofy smile. She seems to be giving you permission to do as you please. You make a reminder to thank Sanae with mushrooms later."
 
The Moriya Shrine Porch is a closed locked door. The Moriya Shrine Porch is north of the Moriya Shrine Grounds. 

Instead of asking Sanae about something:
say "'[italic type]Tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru~[roman type]'"  

Instead of telling Sanae about something:
say "'[italic type]Eeey, sexy ladyyyyy~![roman type]'"

A silver key unlocks The Moriya Shrine Porch. 

"You try to open the sliding doors that lead to the interior of the shrine, but you can't. You look carefully, and see a lock. When did the Moriya group install that? You hum. Sanae probably has the keys, but when you gesture towards the door, she shakes her head. Sanae's not going to give you the keys. Stupid green-bean." 

A hook is an object in The Moriya Shrine Grounds. A silver key is  on a hook. 

The Moriya Household is north of The Moriya Shrine Porch. 

Suwako and Kanako are people inside The Moriya Household. "You head inside and nearly laugh as you see Sanae's two goddesses asleep beside the kotatsu. Suwako is curled up in Kanako's lap, and the snake goddess herself is resting her head on Suwako's. It's a very cute sight." 

A kotatsu, a television, a DVD player, and a cabinet are fixed in place in The Moriya Household. A cabinet is an openable container.  

A basket of fruit is on the kotatsu. A basket of fruit is edible. After eating a basket of fruit: say "Nice and fresh. Probably an offering from the tengu or something. Delicious." 

Inside the cabinet is a magazine, several DVDs, and books. 

The description of a television is "Some Outside World device that projects weird pictures on the black screen. Sanae thinks its a gift from the Heavens, but you don't see what's so special about it."

The description of a kotatsu is "A low table. Very useful for keeping warm during the winter." 

The description of a DVD player is "A shiny metal box. It's too big to take." 

The description of a magazine is "The magazine depicts many pictures of naked men in suggestive poses with each other, and--YOUKAI CHRIST DICKS THAT BIG DO NOT GO IN HOLES THAT SMALL! What the Hell!?" 

The description of several DVDs is "Various flat disks stacked upon each other. You wonder what they do." 

The description of the books is "A bunch of books. 'Twilight', 'Eclipse', 'New Moon'... What stupid titles. You don't even want to touch them." 

The description of Suwako is "A supposedly ancient goddess and Sanae's ancestor. She looks like a pipsqueak though. Hard to imagine Sanae being related to this little shrimp."

The description of Suwako's butt is "Surprisingly nice ass. You'd better stop staring at it though, she's underaged. Sorta."

The description of Kanako is "Sanae's second goddess. Is the instigator of the more recent Incidents in Gensokyo. She has weird hair, and is probably sleeping with Suwako. You wonder if Suwako counts as jailbait."

The description of Kanako's butt is "Booty-licious. And they said that snakes couldn't have butts..." 

Suwa Lake is a room. Suwa Lake is east of The Moriya Shrine Grounds. "A nice, calming lake that Sanae claims was moved to Gensokyo by her gods. Tasseled wooden pillars are sticking out of the lake."