LJs Awesome Adventure by Adam Dewji

LJs Awesome Adventure

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"LJ's Awesome Adventure" by Adam Dewji


The Bedroom is a room.  [if The Bedroom is unvisited] "Your eyes force themselves open as you hear your cell phone vibrate in your pocket, it could be important.  As you reach in your side pocket, you find a piece of paper instead of your phone.  Damn, wrong pocket. You pull out the piece of paper anyway, rub your eyes and read 'Jamie 555-284-2198'.  

You sit up, hands on your head, realizing your pants are still on, you didn't get lucky last night, but you did get a number.  As your head throbs, you stand up off of your Bed in the hopes of getting some fresh air.  

You check your phone and you have a text from  a '555-284-2198', it's Jamie!  She says 'Hey LJ, is your name really Long Johnson?  Anyway, nice meetn u last nite, I'm back in Vic but u can cum over n visit if u want ;)' 

As you stand up to stumble out your Bedroom door, you stumble into it.  What the fuck?  Your doors are locked...from the INSIDE.  God Damnit!  Just your luck!  Find a key and go have your way with her!

You can't really afford to give up hope on this girl.  If she's the one that you remember talking to, then she's probably worth the trip out there.  Search your room, maybe you'll find something.  You can't use your hand again tonight, not with someone waiting for you.

In your Bedroom, you see your Desk, Bed, Closet, nightstand, and a Chair.  There's gotta be a key in here somewhere that will get you out!  You haven't had sex in forever, and you're not going to settle for your hand today.  This girl is totally worth it, and you know you want her." [end if]

The Bedroom door is a closed, locked door. The Bedroom Key unlocks the Bedroom door.  The Bedroom door is east of the Bedroom and west of the hallway. The description of the Bedroom key is "Alright, you got the key out of this room!  One step better than that one 'hottie' you met on the internet. Let's just hope it's not another sex offender, eh?  That last one really fooled you.  Maybe you should lay off the narcotics and balloon animals this time."  The description of the Bedroom door is "The door is locked from the inside! Find the key somewhere in your room, or put things together to break the lock open!"

The Bedroom contains a Desk, a Closet, a Nightstand, a Bed, and a Chair. 

The Bedroom Key is a thing. The Desk is an openable, opaque, closed container

Instead of taking the Desk, say "You can't move the Desk, it's too heavy!" Instead of taking the Bed, say "Oh come on, you can't take the Bed...I know you really want to though!"  Instead of taking the Chair, say "Really?  Did I forget to mention it's a padded armchair?  Oh yeah, I did." Instead of taking the nightstand, say "You can't take that, it's too heavy!" The Desk contains a Dress Sock, a Car Key, a Jewelry Box, an Empty Pack of Smokes, Cash, a Newsclipping, and a Vibrator. 

The Closet is an openable, opaque, closed container. The Closet contains a White shirt, a Black shirt, a Brown shirt, a Mexican shirt, a Racist shirt, a Cowboy hat, Anal beads, Yoga pants.
Instead of taking the Closet, say "It's part of your house!  You can't physically move it, other than open it."

The Nightstand is an openable, opaque, closed container.  The Nightstand contains a dead goldfish, a fly swatter, an orangutan sculpture, and Sunny D.



A White shirt is a wearable thing.
After wearing White shirt, say "You look spiffy!  I'm not sure if spiffy is the right word, but uhh, you're lookin' good."

A Black shirt is a wearable thing.
After wearing Black shirt, say "You look slimmer!  They say black is more slimming.  No, you're not fat, I just meant that it's slimming.  I don't know, I tried to make you feel good.  No I just said you're not fat...oh I should have kept my mouth shut..."

A Poncho is a wearable thing.
After wearing Poncho, say "You look hilarious!  "

A Cowboy hat is a wearable thing.
After wearing Cowboy hat, say "You look sexy!"

A Racist shirt is a wearable thing.
After wearing Racist shirt, say "Congratulations, you're a racist!  I really picked a bad name for a Nascar shirt, didn't I?  Oh the puns and poor grammar..."

Instead of taking Anal beads, say "You might not want to touch those, especially after the narcotics and balloon animals incident."

Instead of wearing Yoga pants, say "No, no pants.  Pants are the root of all evil in this world."

After taking Cash, say "I knew you would.  Just in case, right?  Hey, maybe you'll pay for it tonight."

After taking Dress Sock, say "You better not use this, it's so crusty and smelly!"

The Newsclipping is a thing.  The description of the Newsclipping is "Only 200 for an hour of pure pleasure!  No locks on our doors, mister.  Just bring some cash and throw away a little dignity for some risky fun!"

The Jewelry Box is a closed, openable, opaque container. The Jill's Phone Number is a thing. The description of the Jill's Phone Number is "Jill, 555-321-1234, I live east of your house!  Come over anytime for a visit!"  The Jill's Phone Number is inside the Jewelry Box.

The Vibrator is a closed, openable, opaque container.  After examining the Vibrator, say "Hmm, after shaking it, there seems to be something inside!  What the hell could that be?" The Bedroom key is inside the vibrator. The Bedroom contains an alarm clock. 

The Hallway is a room.  "Okay, you've made it into the Hallway.  Now, you need to get through your front door, the main door to the house.  The last key was somewhere unexpected.  Where the hell could this key be?  Oh and try not to get too distracted..."The Hallway contains a Swiffer, and a broom. The Hallway is east of the Bedroom door.  

The Kitchen is a room.  "Alrighty, you've entered the kitchen.  I don't suppose there's anything in here you'd put a key into.  But after finding your booger-encrusted toothbrush with two of your teeth in a bowl of jello, I don't know what to expect.  Take a look around!" The kitchen door is a closed door.  The Kitchen door is east of the Hallway and west of the Kitchen. The Kitchen is east of the Kitchen door.

The Kitchen contains a Fridge, an Oven, a Kitchen sink, and a Cabinets.  The Kitchen sink is a thing.

The Fridge is a closed, opaque, openable container.  The fridge contains Beer, Eggs, Cheese, Jello, and Broccoli.  Instead of taking fridge, say "Uh, no way buddy."

After taking Jello, say "Nothing weird in the jello this time.  Amazing."

The Oven is a closed, opaque, openable container.  Instead of taking the oven, say "Way too heavy! You can't take this."

Instead of taking the Kitchen sink, say "Can't take this, it's attached!"

The Cabinets is a closed, locked, opaque, openable container.  The description of the cabinets is "The cabinets of your Kitchen, I wonder if they contain any special items?" The poop log unlocks the cabinets. Instead of taking the cabinets, say "Can't move these!"  The cabinets contain a game developer note.

The description of the game developer note is "Hahahahah, so you finally found a use for poop, eh?  This game was created by Adam Dewji, in iat313 at SFU.  Glad you found this secret!"

After taking game developer note, say "You used POOP to unlock a door.  Seriously, I never thought you'd get this."

The Yard is a room.  The Highway is a room. 

The Front door is a closed, locked door.  The Front door is south of the Hallway, and north of the Yard.

The Bathroom is a room.  "Thank goodness this door doesn't have a lock on it!  You would think out of all the places, a lock would be on the bathroom.  But hey, maybe your front door key is in here somewhere.  I don't think you poop out keys, but it's worth a check, isn't it?" The Bathroom door is a closed door.  The Bathroom door is north of the Hallway and south of the Bathroom.  The Bathroom contains a Bathroom sink, a toilet, and a bathtub.  The toilet is an opaque, openable, closed container.  The poop log is a thing.  The poop log is in the toilet.  The bathtub contains a drain.  The drain is an openable, opaque, closed container.  The main door key is in the drain.  The main door key unlocks the front door.

After opening Bathroom door, say "Ha!  The only door in your house without a lock.  I guess it's a good thing you enjoy letting others watch you poo.  This could just be the day you thank yourself for being the weird, quirky person you love being.  Oh wait, you do that every day.  The point is, WELCOME TO THE Bathroom, where shit doesn't hit the fan.  Actually, fecal matter probably does hit the fan, but the point of the fan is to get rid of the smell...press N to get into the Bathroom, and I'll stop talking now."



The Yard is a room.  "You see a path through the city to Jill's place, you see that sketchy escort place, and you see the highway, which is just a short walk to the ferry terminal!" The Yard is south of the front door.  

The escort agency is a room.  The escort agency is west of the escort door.  The escort door is a closed, locked door.  The escort door is east of the escort agency and west of the WestPath. The cash unlocks the escort door.  The escort agency contains the hooker.  The hooker is a thing.

After taking hooker, end the story saying "YEAH!  You don't mind losing your dignity because you don't care!  You lost a little cash...well actually a lot, she's not the best bang for your buck (if you know what I mean).  But you stuck it in!  That's all that matters!  Well, actually, it kind of burns down there.  Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.  You go to the washroom to pee, and you pass out from what you see..."

The EastPath is a room.  The EastPath is east of the Yard and west of Jill's door.

The WestPath is a room.  The WestPath is west of the Yard and east of The escort door.

Jill's house is a room.  Jill's house is east of Jill's door.  Jill's door is a closed, locked door.  Jill's door is west of Jill's house and east of the EastPath. The description of Jill's door is "Well of course she's going to lock her house!  Why don't you try cramming one of your keys into the slot?  You'll need some practice packing solid objects into tight holes for later.". The car key unlocks Jill's door.  Jill's house contains Jill on the Bed.

After taking Jill on the Bed, end the story finally saying "Damn right you took her on the Bed!  YOU WIN!  You finally satisfied yourself, and you can go back to whatever it is you were doing with your life."

The Highway is a room.  "Oh man is it ever busy...you really can't go down here, it's not going to work!  I think it's time to take Jamie off your list." Instead of entering the highway, end the story finally saying "You walked on the highway and died!" The highway is south of the Yard.  The highway contains a ball.  Instead of taking the ball, end the story finally saying "I told you to turn back, but you went for the ball that was on the highway, got hit by a car and you DIED".