A Hole New World of Stupidity by daniel

A Hole New World of Stupidity

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"A Hole New World of Stupidity" by Daniel Wu

When play begins:
    say "You are out on a lovely stroll at the creak trail taking in all that wonderfully inhalable air cleaning out your lungs from all the smoke that the smoggy factory gave you while working there, making bagel bites. Every time you are free of working in that hellhole is like the feeling of bliss. So, as you are captivated and spaced out by the nature's sounds,  you found out that you are falling down!?! At first you are freaking out, but then after a while you realize that this is a reeeeeeeeeally long drop. So you stop screaming at the top of your lungs and start to analyze the situation. You deduce that this a man-made (possibly alien) hole that you are falling through. You get Alice in Wonderland vibes which you hope is not is the case, and so you just wait for your demise as you fall down this... rabbit hole. (also playfic is trash).".





The The Hole is a room. "After 5 minutes, you hit the floor! Hard... you wished that there was at least a cushion or something! Jeez. Anyways, you're glad you aren't a pancake (somehow). You see a stone door with a sign to the north of the room and at the south of the room, you see a book laying upside down and... my god, that's a delectable looking book."

The stone door is a closed door. The stone door is locked. The stone door is north of The Hole. The description is "A heavy stone door blocks your way." 

The Library is north of the stone door.

The delectable book is in The Hole. The description is "A molding delectable book lays there on the stone-cold floor. It looks absolutely scrumptious. Upon further examination, you decide that it really is a tasty looking book, making your mouth water at the sight of it. The beige-colored mold on the book is possibly toxic."


Instead of eating the book:
        say "You ate the book, and you are filled with words of the rainbows, feeling empowered in a way. You speak out your feelings about how delectable this book was and what came out was: cheese glazed monkeys.

the... stone door is open."; 
    now the Stone door is unlocked;
    now the stone door is open;


After taking the book:
    say "You have picked up the mouthwatering moldy book and shaken off the rocks and pebbles. You like it better ungarnished, as you have a refined taste."

After dropping the book: 
    say "You have dropped the delectable book. Your mind is filled with remorse and regret as it collects the fruity pebbles."

Instead of burning the book: 
    say "It extinguished itself; try again."


The Library is a room. "You find yourself in a dimly lit library. Books line the shelves to the west, and a faint smell of crusting old paper fills the air. But two things catches your eye a old book which is greasy and a g-golden bone? You immediately nab the golden bone. You see on the east side of you that there is another room."

Instead of examining the player:
    say "You are disoriented but somehow (thankfully) you are not a pancake, because then ruh roh The End."

The description of the player is "You're wearing ordinary clothes, slightly rumpled from an unplanned nap."

The table is in the Library. "A wooden table sits in the center of the room, with an old book resting on top."

The old book is on the table. "The book seems ancient, its cover weathered and pages yellowed."

Instead of taking the old book:
    say "As you pick up the old book, you notice a strange symbol on the cover. It feels important, so you keep hold of it."

The symbol is part of the old book. The description is "The symbol looks like an intricate design of interlocking circles and lines."





The Study is a room. "A cozy study awaits to the east, beyond an exit. A large desk sits in the middle of the room, covered in scattered papers."










The pen is on the desk. "An old-fashioned quill pen rests near a pile of parchment."

Instead of taking the pen:
    say "The quill pen seems delicate and historic. You might need it for writing something important."

The parchment is on the desk. "The parchment seems blank, ready to record something significant."

Instead of taking the parchment:
    say "The parchment feels smooth, as if it's waiting for some crucial information to be written on it."












The counter is in the Study. 






The microwave is on the counter.











The microwave is an openable container. The microwave is closed. 

"A modern microwave sits in the corner of the room."



Instead of examining the golden bone:
    say "You pick up the magnificent golden bone, you use your carat detector in your pocket and it reads: '25 karat' w-what..?"

The player carries the golden bone.







Understand "Doug" as Doug the Dog.

Understand "bone" as the golden bone.

The printed name of Doug is "Doug the Dog".

Instead of examining the golden bone:
	say "A shiny bone, it might make someone very happy!"


The half-eaten hamburger is in the microwave. "Inside the microwave, there's a leftover half-eaten hamburger."

Instead of taking the half-eaten hamburger:
    say "You take the half-eaten hamburger. It still has slobber still on it, ew... wait, there's fur on the burger? What, did goat man just devoured half of this hamburger or something, whilst leaving the other half perfectly intact? Doubt it."

Instead of eating the half-eaten hamburger:
    say "You eat the half-eaten hamburger. It tastes surprisingly good, despite being half-eaten. You feel a bit better now."

The Library is west of the Study.
The Study is east of the Library.

After going to the Study for the first time:
    say "You enter the study, finding yourself surrounded by an atmosphere of knowledge and history. Perfect for studying... books. Maybe you should read some books in the library. You can return to the library to the west."












The Marsh-mallow is a room.  "Ahh sweet smelling campfires... but hold the campfire."

After going to the Marsh-mallow for the first time:
    say "W-woah this is otherworldly! It's like a marsh... mallow. Wait, a marsh biome made of marshmallows? That's so corny! B-but I wonder if the marshmallows are edible... couldn't hurt to try right? There seems to be some kind of cave north."


The Study is west of the Marsh-mallow.

 Instead of examining the old book:
    say "You examine the old book and found out there is a invisible passage way to a otherworldly realm on the east side of the study";





The Marshmallow is in the Marsh-mallow

Marshmallow is edible. The description is "A delicious and squishy treat."


Instead of taking the Marshmallow:
    say " You have teared a part of the marshmallowy ground and you skimmed the outer layer off. Since you like it better ungarnished, as you have a refined taste."

Instead of eating the Marshmallow:
    say "Ahh... the flavour of type 2 diabetes, what a wonderful taste.";




the Bony-Cove is a room. "You've arrived at Bony Cove you see the lovely Doug, you smiled."

the Bony-Cove is north of the Marsh-mallow.

After going to the Bony-Cove for the first time:
    say "You see bones, lots of bones, and a lovely Dougie. He twirls around as if he is saying Hello! What a good boy! 

You see a door, a Dougy-Door, to the west, it seems to be locked."


Doug the Dog is an animal in Bony-Cove. The description is "A friendly Dougie wagging his tail."

Instead of petting Doug:
 say "Doug happily accepts the pets, wagging his tail contentedly."




Petting is an action applying to one thing.

Understand "pet [something]" as petting.



the Marsh-Mallow is south of Bony-Cove






Understand "give [something] to [someone]" as giving it to.

Instead of giving the golden bone to Doug the Dog:
    say "Doug happily accepts the golden bone and starts gnawing on it. He looks content and wags his tail in appreciation.";

The golden bone is a thing. The golden bone is edible.



Instead of giving the golden bone to Doug the Dog for the first time:
    say "Doug looks at you with gratitude in his eyes and waddles to a previously closed door. He boops the door with his snoot and then sits down tilting his head to the door, as if granting you passage. ";
    now the Dougy-Door is unlocked;
    now the Dougy-Door is open;
    now the golden bone is carried by Doug the Dog.


The Dougy-Door is a closed door. The Dougy-Door is a locked door. The Dougy-Door is west of the Bony-Cove. The description of the Dougy-Door is "It's a dour alright. *badum pssh!*"



Doug the Dog is a person in the Bony-Cove.

The golden bone is a thing. The golden bone is edible.


THE WALL OF DOOR is west of the Dougy-Door.


THE WALL OF DOOR is a room. "You find yourself in a room with THE DOOR... and old man jenkins wait.. MY GOD IT'S OLD MAN JENKINS!!  

Old Man Jenkins: Yeaas  issz  me olbd man shenkiwns wo oo u ld you rr ather rrr zake the $9OoO0O smytery box or ze sormal zsbox?

You immediately regret coming here and you start to reminisce about the Dougie Doug, you look back behind you west, looking at the closing Dougy-Door."

The $900000 mystery box is in the WALL OF DOOR.

The normal box is in the WALL OF DOOR.

After taking the $900000 mystery box:
   say "You opened the $900000 mystery box and saw A $900000 MASSIVE DIAMOND WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 

Wait.. how am I supposed to get outta here now? 

'H-hey buddy can you please give me the oth-'

Old Man Jenkins: 'znope haha! jenkins is zoutta here! peace!'

Jenkins does a 360 twirl spin both spinning vertically and horizontally on both of the directions and opposite directions of both of the directing directions at the same time, on his stick walking aid and pogoed through the ceiling leaving a blast of methane to leave a lingering mock.";
   end the story saying "And so, you have the riches of the world but that don't mean nothing if you can't get out of here.

I mean think about it, getting something like gold or diamonds isn't going to help you escape.

Anyways, you make a fort out of bones and live the rest of your days in a bone hut with your adorable Dougie Doug. Gnawing away on the bonie bones for eternity."

The door of doors is a closed door. The door of doors is a locked door. The door of doors is north of the WALL OF DOOR. The description of the door of doors is "The holy grail of all doors."

After taking the normal box:
   say "You opened the normal box and found some... Cards! W-wait cards...? What am I going to do with c-

You instantly take a brain pill that makes you on the same level of iq as Batman, you then place four cards in this specific order: A, K, 4, 7

The group of four cards now has turned into a makeshift AK47!

So you blast loads of magazines from your seemingly movie-like gun with unlimited ammo included and crash down the door!

*BAM*

The DOOR OF DOORS has now crumbled to pieces and you can proceed north to the next room.

Maybe you should keep the AK47 as you may need to protect yourself, but then again, it's impolite to bring a gun into someone's property so maybe you should drop it.";
        now the door of doors is unlocked;
    now the door of doors is open;








Pony's Bastion is a room.


Pony's Bastion is north of the door of doors. "The Phony Pony stands in its bastion."


The player carries the AK47.


Phony Pony is a person in the Pony's Bastion.

Instead of going to the Pony's Bastion when the player carries the AK47:
    say "As you enter the next room, Pony's Bastion, You see a 21ft massive beefy pony, you shudder in fear as he walks towards you with his girthy pecs that are probably compressed with 200 kg of muscle in a single pec, the weight of his steps each making a Thunderous *BOOM*.

Each breath he takes, takes up 90% of the world oxygen. Being so generous in leaving the 10% of oxygen for the measly humans.
You might think that global warming is cause by what, Cows? Pollution? No...

HE is the reason why global warming is a thing. 

He then looks STRAIGHT down as he looks at your tiny figure of a measly 4'11. 

The Phony Pony speaks in a rumbling tone: 'HEY TH-' 

He caught a glimpse of the AK47, and he burrowed into the ground at the speed of dark. You can hear the faint sound of clip clopping and China.";
   end the story saying "We've Been Tricked, We've Been Backstabbed and We've Been, Quite Possibly, Bamboozled... Man, that really was a Phony Pony."



Instead of going to the Pony's Bastion when the player does not carry the AK47:
    say "You enter the Pony's Bastion and find the Phony Pony waiting for you.

Phony Pony: 'Yo, wassup, it's me Phony Pony you need anything?'

You tell him that you need to get out of here.

Phony Pony: 'Yeah sure! I'd love to help ya out! I'll burrow us out of here! Easy Peasy!'

As you start to get ready for the burr-off, you realize you are forgetting something.

You run all the way back to Bony-Cove and see Doug the Dog rolling playfully. You ask the Dougie if he wanna go back with you. He nods in agreement!

And so you pick the Dougie and his lovely golden bone up and bring him with you and as you go to the overworld, the Phony Pony said 'Oh yeah I forgot the prize! Here ya go!' He hands you this MASSIVE treasure chest full of gold and jewelry! What a haul! You never have to work again!'

T-thank you! You reply.

'Once you surface the Phony Pony says: 'See ya! Hope we meet again one day! And then he dived back in the hole, with the hole seemingly fading away as if it was never dug. 

There was still much more to explore but that's a story for another time.

And so, you live happily ever after, in your million dollar mansion with your lovely Dougie, living the life.";
   end the story saying "The End."