A Comprehensive Zombie Pedagogy by Jason Frank

A Comprehensive Zombie Pedagogy

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"Zombie Pedagogy" by Jason Frank

There is no scoring for the game.

When play begins:
say "[italic type] Your having second thoughts about this whole internship thing. You should've pulled out after they showed you the confidentiality statement you had to sign. Anything over twenty pages is cause for concern. The blindfold they made you wear until you made your way into the elevator wasn't exactly comforting either."

The Elevator is a room. "The elevator doors close behind you and you can barely see the seam where they meet. You can't help feeling a little clausterphobic. Without pressing any buttons, the elevator descends. It is so quiet and smooth, that you have no idea how fast or far you've gone. The walls are a polished silver, reflecting your confused expression again and again onto eternity. You see a keyhole in the door and think of the golden key in your pocket (Try unlocking the door with the key).

You are carrying a backpack (Try examining the backpack)."

The silver door is west of the elevator and east of the foyer.The description is "The door has key hole in it." The silver door is a door. The door is openable. The silver door is lockable and locked. The golden key unlocks the silver door.

The player carries the backpack.

The player carries the golden key.

The backpack is a container. The backpack is closed. It is openable. The description is "It's an old canvas backpack that your grandfather gave you when you were in elementary school. He claimed he used it in the war and that the holes it it were bullet holes (try opening the backpack)."

In the backpack is a book. The book is an object. It is inedible. The description is "The AECT Handbook is a heavy book that could stop a bullet or brain an attacker. Even though you don't like carrying it around, you always feel safer when you have it on you. (You may want to look up various theories in the book)."

The Foyer is west of the silver door. The foyer is a room. "In the foyer is a large reception desk. There is an open doorway north, west and south of you. (You may want to examine the desk in front of you.)"

Before going to the Foyer, say "You take a hesitant step into the brightly lit room."

There is a desk in the foyer. The description is "The desk was a wall of mahogany that reaches about half-way up your chest (you might want to examine the clipboard.) There is also what appears to be a slogan on the wall behind the desk. 'Open your mind or have it openedâ€¦Forcibly." There is a clipboard on the desk. The description is "The clipboard contains numerous charts and data. The title of the paper is 'The Nature of Undead Task Performance.' You're starting to wonder what's going on around here."

After consulting the book about "Cognitivism", say "The Congnitivists were a reaction to the supposed objectivist views of the behaviorist. They argue for the existence of a mind and are fascinated with the hidden thought processes. Their data is mainly collect through a reflective journalling process."

After consulting the book about "Behaviorism", say "The behaviorists believed that there was nothing going on inside the mind. That, in fact there was no mind at all. Only what could be observed was valued by the behaviorists."

After consulting the book about "Constructivism", say "The Constructivists believe that all meaning is constructed either by the individual, or in the case of social constructivists, the meaning is constructed by the group."

After consulting the book about "History", say "It's a long and complicated history that is largely cyclical in nature."

After taking the clipboard, say "You really wish you had paid more attention in that statistics class of yours. The numbers are all very confusing."

Instead of smelling the foyer, say "The coffee is irresitable. The smell appears to be coming from the hallway to your west."

The Classroom is north of the Foyer. The classroom is east of the Pen. The Classroom is a room. "You walk into a dimly lit room with a large window looking into a traditional classroom with a chalkboard. For such a high tech facility, the classroom seemed almost nostagiac. In the corner of the classroom was a large table with six chairs surrounding it. In the classroom are about half a dozen zombies. Some are seated, some are wondering aimlessly. Each of the zombies has a lightbulb in their hands. (You may want to try examining the video camera)."

There is a video camera in the classroom. The video camera is a thing. The description is "The play button is blinking. You press it. The video begins with a man in a white lab coat speaking into the camera. 'It was a simple task we gave the subject. One they should have learned together. We even included a few formal electricians into the group with the hope of being able to access their long term memory. Working memory is extraodinarily limited in the subjects and is proving more difficult that we had anticipated. The object is to have the subjects turn on the lights in the room, but so far they have only fought over their lightbulbs."

The sign is scenery in the classroom. The description is "How many zombies does it take to construct a way to turn on the lights?"

In the classroom there is a notepad. The notepad is a thing. The description is "The clipboard contained several hastily scrawled notes.We find that our subjects are more comfortable with desks and pencils. At first we had computers and smartboards and, but it was so unfamiliar, we felt it taxed their cognitive load."

Instead of listening to the classroom, say "You hear a soft murmuring coming from the next room."

The hallway is west of the Foyer. The hallway is east of the prison. The hallway is north of the Break Room. The hallway is a room. "The hallway's floor is polished to a reflective shine. There is a room to the west. There is also a room to the south. The smell of coffee seems to be coming from the room to the south."

The breakroom is a room. The break room is south of the hallway. "The breakroom is empty except for a coffee machine in the corner. In the center is a table with a stack of papers." 

The table is a thing. The table is in the break room. The table is fixed in place. The stack of papers is a thing. It is on the table. The description is "The title of the article on the table is 'Philosophical Perspectives' by Schuh and Barab. It looks familiar. You remember reading it in you copy of the handbook but the details are a little fuzzy."

The prison is a room. The prison is west of the hallway. The prison is south of the steel door. "There are about a a dozen zombies shuffling back and forth behind a locked gate. There are clubs, a fire hose and what appears to be a collection of car batteries with jumper cables attached. The zombies look scared (if it is possible for monsters to be frightened), but they seem remarkably well ordered.

There is a steel door in the northern corner of the room. There is a sign on the door that says 'Danger! Keep Out! You're curious and are not sure if you should investigate further."

The steel door is north of the prison and south of the pen. The description is "There is a window in the door. You can see a lot of zombies milling about." The steel door is a door. The steel door is openable. The steel door is closed. The steel door is locked and lockable. The steel key unlocks the steel door.

The steel key is an thing. The steel key is in the prison. "The key is on the floor. It is rusted and very sharp."

After taking the steel key:
say "Ouch. The sharp edge cuts deeply into your index finger. Looks like you'll need a tetanus shot if you make it out alive."

The folder is a thing. The folder is in the prison. The description is "The title on the folder reads 'To form a zombie queue.' The folder contains a series of photographs of what look like scientists torturing their zombie captives. With all manner of devices. There is a post it note attached to one of the photographs with the word 'ethical?' scrawled on it."

The pen is a room. The pen is north of the steel door. "You shouldn't have gone in here. Your brains have just been eaten." The pen is west of the classroom.

After opening the steel door:
say "The succulence of your brains is too great to resist. I'd like to say you died quickly, but the truth is it was a pretty painful way to go.";
end the game in death

The Couch is a room. The couch is south of the foyer. "There is a warm feeling to this room. The lighting has a calming effect on you. It is completely quiet. The carpet is lush and soft under your feet. In the center of the room is a leather sofa. There is a desk in the corner. On the desk, you see some papers and a thick notebook. There is also a table in the room. On the table are crayons, paper, play-dough and Legos."

A table is a thing. There is a table here. The table is fixed in place. The description is "It's a beautiful mahogany table which makes all of the crayons and clay and paper look out of place."

There is an office desk in the couch. An office desk is a thing. The office desk is fixed in place. The description is "It's a huge office desk, big enough to be a bed if you liked sleeping on hard surfaces."

 There is a notebook on the office desk. A Notebook is a thing. The notebook is on the office desk. The description is "The notebook has many notes written in a small, tight script. 'It is difficult to analyze the workings of the zombie cognitive process because of their inability to clearly articulate their thought processes. We thought that by creating a calming environment and giving them familiar expressive tools to play with, they might be able to sketch out what they're thinking when the brain lust hits them. Our efforts to date have been fruitless.'"

In the couch there is a picture. The picture is a thing. It is fixed in place. The description is "Above the office desk is a large picture of a brain with the caption 'Don't eat. Understand.'"