The Squawking Dead by Harley Baldwin White-Wiedow

The Squawking Dead

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"The Squawking Dead" by Harley Baldwin

Use American dialect.
Use no scoring. 
Release along with an interpreter. 

The Cave is a room. "You are standing knee deep in the muck. The muck is in a cave - a dank, dark, mucky cave.  [if carcass is in cave]Near the mouth of the cave, moonlight shines down on a giant, dead chicken carcass.  Beyond the carcass[end if] - To the north, you can see a thin band of stars through the cave  exit.  An abandoned container garden grows wild along the west wall."

The muck and the anvil are scenery in the Cave.  The anvil supports a rusty sword.

The  axe is in the open field.

The description of the axe is "It's got a beautiful hand-carved handle and a patina that could only come from years of use.  The telltale gleam along the edge tells you that this axe is very sharp."

An object called container garden is a container in the cave. Parsely, Arugula, Henbane, and Feverfew are in the container garden.  The container garden is scenery.

The carcass is an animal in the cave.
The vestibule is a door. The vestibule is north of the cave. The vestibule is locked. The vestibule is scenery.
The open field is north of the vestibule.

Understand "garden" as container garden.
Understand "container" as container garden.
Understand "herbs" as container garden.
Understand "plants" as container garden.

Understand "hen" as carcass.
Understand "chicken" as carcass.
Understand "zombie" as carcass.
Understand "poultry" as carcass.
Understand "layer" as carcass.

Understand "exit" as vestibule.
Understand "cave entrance" as vestibule.

After doing anything once: 
	say line break; 
	say "... Also	...	did I forget to mention it?";
	say line break; 
	say "The chicken carcass is hungry	...	And it wants to eat you";
	say line break;	
	say line break;
	say "Because you taste like chicken."
	
Every turn when the player can see the carcass:
	say "The [one of] giant zombie poultry[or]stinking hulk of chicken[or]terrible monstrous chicken[or]once proud champion egg layer[or]rather large dead chicken that wants to peck out your eyes[at random] is [one of]wedged as deeply into the cave at it can get[or]blocking the cave entrance with its giant, stinking body[or]pressed eagerly against the cave mouth[at random].  Every time you get near, it [one of]lunges at you[or]moans out a chilling squawk of loss and hunger[or]pecks your foot which hurts even through your shoe and probably drives muck into a wound on your foot which will likely result in a terrible death from infection and gangrene[as decreasingly likely outcomes]."
	


The description of the muck is "A shallow pit full of mud, hair, teeth, and bones. It smells disgusting and sucks at your feet when you stand in it."

The description of the rusty sword is "It never was a very good sword - and now it's a rusty bad sword."
The description of the anvil is "A rough lump of iron weighing approximately 122 pounds, pointed at one end for bending iron.  It's  unremarkable, except for a rusty sword laid across it as if a blacksmith went to lunch one day about 70 years ago and never came back."

The description of the container garden is "A jumble of half-broken pots with scraggly herbs still growing from them. There are old, brown popsicle sticks labeled with herb names sticking from some of the plants."
The description of the henbane is "Whew, stinky! Just taking a deep whiff makes you a little dizzy."

The parsely is edible.  The description of the parsely is "A green leafy herb that adds zing to salads and looks nice with frozen, re-fried food."  
The arugula is edible. The description of the arugula is "Left alone to grow up and go to seed, this is no baby arugula."  
The feverfew is edible. The description of the feverfew is "With wide green oak-like leaves and small white flowers, it makes a fetching blooming garden filler. It smells slightly citrusy."  

Instead of examining the vestibule, say "You can't get close enough. The [one of]terrible hen of re-animation[or]scary big zombie chicken[or]poultry that's been giving you trouble[at random] tries to [one of]peck out your eyes[or]disembowel you[or]remove your nice button up shirt and eat your heart, still warm and beating[at random] every time you move in that direction."

Instead of opening the vestibule, say "You can't get close enough. The [one of]terrible hen of re-animation[or]scary big zombie chicken[or]poultry that's been giving you trouble[at random] tries to [one of]peck out your eyes[or]disembowel you[or]remove your nice button up shirt and eat your heart, still warm and beating[at random] every time you move in that direction."

Instead of taking the sword:
	say "As your hands close around the jagged hilt, a sharp piece of rusty iron pokes you painfully in the hand. Fearing blood poisoning (or worse  - How did that chicken become zombified, really?) you hastily put it  back down."
	
Instead of eating the parsely: 
	remove the noun from play; 
	say "It's parsely.  Your breath is slightly fresher."
	
Instead of eating the arugula: 
	remove the noun from play; 
	say "Wow, now you know why we only eat baby arugula.  Spicy! Bitter! Kind of a kick."
	
Instead of eating the feverfew: 
	remove the noun from play; 
	say "The slight fever you had from standing in mud all night seems to be gone."

Instead of eating the henbane ,say "As you bring it to your mouth you feel the world about you lurch - the stink becomes overwhelming. It does not seem like a good idea to you to eat henbane."
	
Instead of examining the carcass:
	say "The chicken twitches. You take a step back. The cold, dead eye of the giant poultry zeroes in on you.  Trapped outside the cave by the bulk of its body,  the zombie poultry strains to enter the cave and gobble you up. "  

Instead of giving the henbane to the carcass:
	now vestibule is unlocked;
	now vestibule is open;
	remove the carcass from play;
	say "The cold dead eye of the stinking bag of past-its-prime hen meat wobbles and fixes on the henbane.  It snatches the herb out of your hand, gulps it down, and then lunges at you... in slow motion.  Halfway through the lunge the chicken seems to become distracted.  It makes a strange, questioning sound, then wanders off to the north, through the open field beyond the cave vestibule, and over a hill.";

The description of the open field is "Young plants thrust eagerly up through the warm early-summer earth. The stars shine softly about you. On the east edge of the field, you can see the glow of lights through a window. "

Instead of taking the axe:
	say "Best get home and check on the chickens.";
	end the story finally.