ISIS Crisis by Liv

ISIS Crisis

Played 1,108 times
View game source (spoilers!)
Download the .z8 file
Source Code

"ISIS Crisis - An Archer Interactive" by Liv Wisely

When play begins:
	say "Your name is Sterling Malory Archer.  [paragraph break]You are a secret agent in the employment of the CIA outsource organization known as ISIS. But you are known personally by the villains of the world as The World's Most Dangerous Spy. [paragraph break]You are flippant, privileged, and irrational, with an ego the size of a small star system. [paragraph break]You also might possibly be immortal, but that's a whole other thing. [paragraph break] Anyway, you've just found out that all of your coworkers have gone on an employee retreat without you, and left you locked up here with a broken elevator! [paragraph break]Those BASTARDS. [paragraph break]Never fear. You WILL  have your revenge. [paragraph break](Cause mischief to gain points. Be sure to look at everything! Reach 60 points to win!)"

Main Office is a room. "(Malory's Office is to the North.)[paragraph break](Cyril's Office is to the West.)[paragraph break](Pam's Office is to the East.)[paragraph break](The Lab is to the South)[paragraph break]You are standing right now in the Main Office of ISIS. A love letter to the monotonous purgatory of the capitalist workforce, as some commie might say."

Cheryl's Desk is in Main Office. "In front of you, you see the desk of your mother's personal secretary, Cheryl Tunt. [paragraph break]Or is it Carol? Or Cherlene. Or... Crystal? Was that a thing? You're sure it was at one point. Anyway, you're just gonna call her Cheryl for now. It doesn't even matter, really. She's a total airhead ditzbag with a brain the size of an M&M cut in half. Not even one of the peanut ones. [paragraph break]The desk has a drawer on it where she keeps all the crap that isn't strewn on the surface." The drawer is part of the desk. The drawer is a closed openable container. In the drawer is a jar of Liquid Cement glue. On the desk is a computer and a telegram. 

The description of the desk is "Kinda sticky... probably glue. You hope it's glue. Please be glue.[paragraph break]"

The jar is an object. The jar can be taken. The description of the jar is
"Yum, yum, yum. Cheryl's favorite treat. Sticky, snotty, with fumes of a near chloroform level.[paragraph break]" 

Understand "jar" and "glue" and "liquid" as jar.

After taking the jar:
	say "Taken. [paragraph break]It could be used for some mischief. Cheryl is INCREDIBLY protective over this stuff. If you planted it on the desk of a friend of hers, you bet that would REALLY tick her off.[paragraph break]"

The computer is an object on the desk. The description of the computer is "Apparently she was in the middle of her fan fiction. You spare yourself the browsing. You're not sure if you can take reading more than a paragraph about sweaty, violent Keebler elf sex. Other than that, best leave this computer alone.[paragraph break]" 


The telegram is an object. The description of the telegram is "Cheryl Tunt [paragraph break] This is your final confirmation of securing your attendance to our annual bimonthly luncheon. As we recall, you are scheduled to supply 3 crates of 1959 Pol Roger Brut RÃ©serv Champagne. Per the rules of the management we require you to order these articles to the address below so that the caterers may set about plating and organization for the event.  [paragraph break] Yours, Ethelfreida Mince, [paragraph break] Undersecretary of Finances, United Upper Class Unwedded Debutante's Association, Manhattan Chapter [paragraph break] [italic text]Three whole crates of luxury champagne?! [roman text]You can think of a MUCH better final destination for those. Namely, your apartment. [paragraph break]Below the letter is written an address. [paragraph break]You're pretty sure that if you can just paint over the address with something and replace it, Cheryl will send the booze to YOU instead! [paragraph break]Only, now you need to find something to paint over it with....[paragraph break]" 

After taking the telegram: 
say "Taken." 

Cyril's Office is a room. Cyril's Office is west of Main Office. "This is the office of the ISIS accountant, in charge of all the finances. More specifically, this is the office of a sniveling, pervy little dweeb named Cyril Figgis. You've secretly always wanted to go snooping around here. [paragraph break] The place is disgustingly clean and perfect, with wide windows and a cushy armchair. The clutter-free surfaces are decorated tastefully with potted plants, and the walls are a testament to his boring interests;" 

The map of San Marcos is in Cyril's Office. "A map of San Marcos,"

The poster is in Cyril's Office. "A poster illustrating the different kinds of graphs,"

The framed photograph is in Cyril's Office. "A framed photograph of his cat." 

After examining the photograph:
say "Wait, yes you do! The pudgy little black and white kitten is the spitting image of Cyril. Down to the simpering little smirk. Fuck you, Mr. Pickles, and fuck everything you stand for.[paragraph break]"

After examining the map:
say " Wait, yes you do! That little megalomaniac has some kind of a power kink. You'll never forgive him for throwing you in that dungeon.[paragraph break]" 

After examining the poster:
say "Wait, yes you do! You examine the poster ENTHRALLED! Gee WHIZ! Are there REALLY that many types of GRAPHS?! You've never BEEN so FASCINATED in your LIFE! This is absolutely NOT SARCASM![paragraph break]" 


Cyril's Desk is an object in Cyril's Office."You can also see Cyril's Desk in here. It's so disgustingly neat and organized. Complete with a little succulent in a terra-cotta pot, and a stack of Carl Sagan themed coasters. What a prick." On Cyril's Desk is a cabinet. The cabinet is a closed, openable object. In the cabinet is a filthy magazine. 

After opening cabinet: 
say "Inside you see a filthy magazine. Well, well, well. You expected no less from a recovering sex addict. Apparently nobody told Cyril about the dangers of mixing business and pleasure. You also see a bottle of White-Out.[paragraph break]" 

The filthy magazine is an object in the cabinet. The description of the filthy magazine is "An outdated edition of the disreputable 'Tugs and Jugs' publication. You would know it's outdated, you just bought the newest one yesterday.[paragraph break]"

Instead of taking the magazine:
say "There is no way in hell you are touching that.[paragraph break]" 

The bottle of White-Out is an object in the cabinet. 
The description of the bottle of White-Out is "Good for painting over stuff.[paragraph break]" 

Understand "bottle" and "White-Out" and "white out" as bottle. 

After taking the bottle of White-Out:
say "Taken. [paragraph break] 'Your standard solution for mess-ups, accidents, and mishaps!' [paragraph break] Geez, someone should put this on Cyril's whole life. Amirite? Up top! Oh wait, nobody is here. Anyway, you take the White-Out. It could come in handy.[paragraph break]" 

After putting the bottle on the telegram:
say "You paint over the address on the telegram with the White-Out and then write in your OWN address. 3 crates of champagne, here you come. Well played.[paragraph break]"; award 10 points.