Needing A Wee by Hotrod McCaughan

Needing A Wee

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"Needing a Wee" by Hotrod McCaughan

The  living room is a room."You are in the living room in your friend's house watching television, newsround is on. You've never been here before and the place is massive (your friend is Pierce Brosnan). You really need a wee, very badly indeed. You'd better find the bathroom! There are corridors to the north, south and east and west."

north of living room is Corridor One. Corridor One is a room.  Here is a painting. Painting is an object."You are in a long hallway. There is a beautiful painting on the wall of a face you recognise. At the end of the hallway is the front door, go north to head out the front garden or examine the painting. You seriously need a wee now."



Instead of examining painting:
	say "It is a really nice oil painting. Holy shit, now you realise who it is a painting of! It is only flipping Keanu Reeves. And it is a REALLY good likeness. I suppose you could take the painting, or maybe even wee on it if you're really desperate. It might be a bad idea though."


Understand "wee on [something]" as weeing. Weeing is an action applying to one visible thing.

After weeing painting: say "Oh you absolute idiot. You're doing a piss on Pierce Brosnan's favourite painting! And here's the worst news: it's not even actually a painting, it is the real Keanu Reeves. Pierce Brosnan pays him to stand there. But he can't handle you pissing on him, so he bites off your lad and you bleed to death, and Pierce Brosnan is raging. Well done, jerk, you've just fucked off Goldeneye and you're dead."; end the game in death.


After taking painting:
	say "Jesus Christ, you're actually stealing the painting?! I thought you were meant to be Pierce Brosnan's friend! Anyway, you're a dick for doing that. Pierce Brosnan and three heavies jump you from behind and kill you. Just right too, you dick."; end the game in death.

lawn is north of corridor one. lawn is a room. Here is a jaguar. Jaguar is an object. "Well, there's the door open. And look, you can see Pierce Brosnan's lovely big Jaguar! Looks to me like that thing might need somebody to wee on it. And you DO need a wee, don't you? 

Or you could just head south to go back in the house to find the bathroom, it's up to you. "



understand "car" as jaguar.

After weeing jaguar: say "Honestly? You're weeing on Dante's Peak's car?!? Are you MENTAL?! The car comes to life, because it is a magic car, and it goes apeshit and drives over you. Seriously, Pierce Brosnan asks you into his home and this is what you do? Disgusting."; end the game in death.