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EpicFreakOut
by
John Holt
Played 1,963 times
View game source
(spoilers!)
Download the
.z8 file
Source Code
"EpicFreakOut" by John Holt. The Dorm is a room. "[italic type]The endless packs of Ramen Noodles stack high. The paper towels you 'found' in the cafeteria provide you with plates, along with the plastic silverware that you find absolutely luxurious. Your bunk bed takes up over half of your 'room', if it can even be called a room. The maximum occupancy consists of you, your roommate (whom you have grown to hate with a passion), and possibly a small animal. Space is a luxury you cannot even imagine. To add to this, your classes have driven you to the edge of insanity. Weeks and weeks of reading, writing papers, and going (occasionally) to class, have left you begging for a break. Your desk holds your books and class notes, an option of last resort only. You have studied tirelessly for weeks now. Your brain can only handle so much. The new Call to Duty game calls to you. You stand in the middle of the room. An Xbox 720 sits under the TV. Perhaps there is an object you can take..." A controller is here. After taking controller: say "You pick up the controller. The Xbox 720 turns on. You begin playing Call to Duty 21: Last Final Stand Ever. Your thirst for mindless entertainment and violence seems fulfilled, at least for the moment... [line break][line break]Do you want to win this videogame?[line break][line break]>"; If player consents: say "[line break]Too bad. [line break]You lose. [line break]HAHAHA!!![line break][line break]"; now the player is in the Anger Room; Otherwise: say "[line break]Fine, [line break]YOU LOSE!!![line break][line break]"; now the player is in the Anger Room. The Anger Room is a room. "YOU... LOSE...[line break]Take the staff of rage."[line break]A staff of rage is here. After taking staff of rage: say "Your rage elevates to uncontrollable levels. The game itself has messed with you. The game has been out to get you for years now. Do you want to sit calmly?[line break]>"; If player consents: say "[line break]Oh NO you don't! Not this time! [line break]You've sat by and watched your life be ripped to pieces by this game over and over again. You can't take it any more![line break][line break]"; now the player is in the Room of Rage; Otherwise: say "[line break]Of course not! Not this time! You've sat by and watched your life be ripped to pieces by this game over and over again. You can't take it any more! [line break][line break]"; now the player is in the Room of Rage. The Room of Rage is a room. "Select an action to 'take'."[line break]Fist of Fury is here. [line break]Sheath Knife is here. [line break]Angry Stomp is here. After taking Fist of Fury: say "You are in exponential rage mode now. You jump up from the couch and charge the opposing wall of your dorm head on. You crash into the mix of paneling and paint with a thud. Your fists do the talking. You show the wall who is boss, driving through the cheap plaster with every blow. By the time you finish, the wall looks like a Whack a Mole board."; now the player is in the Room of Trouble. After taking Sheath Knife: say "You can take no more. You jump from your seat and grab the closest object you can find. Unfortunately this object is your roommate's hunting knife (although sword would be a more accurate description). Lost in your rage, you hurl it as hard as you can. Blinded by passion, you lose focus of all reality for what seems like days. Coming back to reality, you startlingly see your destruction. The knife has been wedged right through the wall."; now the player is in the Room of Trouble. After taking Angry Stomp: say "The adrenaline hits you like a pillowcase full of soap bars. You jump up from your seat and stomp around your apartment like a giant attempting to squish the entire planet. Jumping up and down angrily, your body is lost in a fit of rage and passion."; now the player is in the Room of Trouble. The Room of Trouble is a room. "The knock on the door brings you fully back to reality. Who could possibly bother you at a time like this? Looking through the peep hole, you see your Resident Advise Person (RAP). You can't get another noise complaint, 7 in one semester is waaaaaaaaay too many already. The rage from losing the videogame and the fear of the RAP's wrath cloud your judgement. You open the door wildly... Take him..." [line break][line break]The RAP is here. After taking the RAP: say "In a fit of lunacy, you grab your RAP and shove him into your closet, barring the door handles with an umbrella. The RAP is lost in confusion and bangs on the doors screaming. There's no turning back now. 10 minutes pass, 20 minutes, hours..."; now the player is in the Room of Disaster. The Room of Disaster is a room. "By the end of the night your roommate returns. Hearing the voices inside the closet, he asks what the noise is? 'Don't worry about it', you say. Your roommate, whose hatred of you matches your own of him, decides not to press the issue. More time passes. Sleep overtakes you... You wake in the middle of the night to flashing lights and the sound of sirens. A loud knock resounds from your door. Flying out of bed, you check the peep hole. Four police officers stand just outside your door. The gig is up! But no, not yet! The window is still an option. You check slowly through the glass. You are not surrounded, not yet. Or... You realize that you have two options: You can take an escape route or take your pillow and fight your way out. ". An escape route is here. A pillow is here. After taking escape route: say "You open the window and leap out like a ninja. Your landing needs work. Grass is not that soft from two stories up, and rolling to land is a lot harder than it looks in movies. Nevertheless, you sneak away, down the sidewalk and towards the middle of campus. [line break]"; now the player is in the Outside on the Run. After taking pillow: say "You take up the pillow from your bed. An obvious weapon of choice. [line break]"; now the player is in the Hallway of Chaos. The Outside on the Run is a room. "As you sneak away though, you are spotted. One of the cops had stayed in the car. Your description is all over campus. They know you have the RAP. The officer tells you to stop and raises his taser. Do you take the surrender route or take the dangerous escape route (running away wildly)?". The surrender route is here. The dangerous escape route is here. After taking surrender route: end the game saying "You are weak... The officer tackles you to the ground, binding your hands and then dragging you to the backseat of his car. Congratulations, you are now going to jail, all because you freaked out from playing a videogame.". After taking dangerous escape route: say "A bold move. You have definitely been playing too much Call to Duty. You take off running as fast as possible. You gain 5, maybe 6 steps, before a strange tingling sensation reaches you back. Soon though, the tingling turns to burning, and you fall to the ground. Turns out getting tased hurts a lot more than you imagined. Also, unfortunately for you, the taser calibration was unusually high. That, along with your slight allergy to electricity, puts your heart over the edge. The shock ultimately is your demise. Your adrenal glands are working overtime and do not respond well to electricity. The electricity causes all the glands to burst, as well as making your heart explode. Congratulations, you are now dead, all because you freaked out over a videogame."; end the game in death. The Hallway of Chaos is a room. "You open the door quickly, howling as you charge the hallway. The officers awaiting you are taken off guard. 'Who would charge at us?' they think. They underestimate you. Do you take an officer's taser or take the ninja route, swinging your pillow wildly?". The taser is here. The ninja route is here. After taking taser: say "You snatch the nearest taser you can see."; now the player is in the Hallway of Epic Chaos. The Hallway of Epic Chaos is a room. "Pulling the trigger and aiming wildly. The nearest officer falls to the floor. Three remain though and the voltage on the taser is done. The remaining three back away quickly, retreating a little ground. On the ground you see two things, which one do you take?". The nightstick is here. The brass knuckles is here. After taking nightstick: end the game saying "Big mistake. What seemed like a rational idea turns into your demise. You lean over to grab the nightstick. One of the officers sees this though and strikes. Caught while distracted, your are struck in the back and fall to the floor. The others move in and tackle you. Your last stand turns into an embarrassment and you are taken to jail. Good job, all of this because you freaked out after losing a videogame.". After taking ninja route: say "You are the master of kung fu. You have seen way too many Jackie Chan movies for your own good. You begin with a flying leap and kick wildly. The officers retreat slightly before holding their ground. You fight like Spartan, but your efforts are not enough. The officers push you back further and further. Determined not to give up though, you keep attacking. Your efforts gradually fade. The tiredness takes over. As you swing wildly you lose focus and stutter. Your enemy takes advantage of this and strikes a blow to your head. The blow hurts, but your head striking the ground hurts even more. Your brain implodes like a watermelon off a bridge. All this occurred because you freaked out from a videogame. Nice work."; end the game in death.