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Win at College or Die Trying!
by
John Shields
Played 1,705 times
View game source
(spoilers!)
Download the
.z8 file
Source Code
"Team Jake Shields Experience's- Win College or Die Trying" by Jake Shields, Rianne Michael, and Anya Geissler Maximum Score is 15. A treasure is a kind of thing. A treasure has a number called point value. The point value of a treasure is usually 0. Carry out taking: award the point value of the noun points; change the point value of the noun to -1. Dorm Room is a room. "It's your first day of college and your parents just left you at your dorm room in Posada San Pedro. You've already unpacked, but you still need to get some school supplies before class later today. You can leave your dorm by going east, or visit your friend Ethan by going west. If you go outside, make sure you take your sunglasses!" There is a desk in the Dorm Room. There is a bed in the Dorm Room. There is a wallet on the desk. It is a treasure with point value 1. There is sunglasses on the desk. Sunglasses is treasure. It has point value 5. There is a candy bar on the desk. It is edible. The description is "This candy bar was here when you got into your room. You can only guess how long it has been here. Eating it would probably be risky...or delicious." After eating the candy bar: say "You unwrap the decidedly vintage candy bar, and take a bite. It tastes horrible, and stains your teeth brown. There's no way you can go to class looking like this! You curl up in the fetal position never leave your room again."; end the game in death. There is a sticky note on the desk. It is treasure with point value 1. The description is "This is a list of stuff your older brother assured you was the key to his overwhelming popularity in his college years: notebook, labcoat, snapback, calculator, and coffee. You should probably go get this stuff before class." Before taking the sticky note: say "This is a list of stuff your older brother assured you was the key to his overwhelming popularity in his college years: notebook, labcoat, snapback, calculator, and coffee. You should probably go get this stuff before class." Ethan's Dorm Room is a room. "Your friend Ethan from high school moved into the dorm room across the hall from you. You already know that he is a snapback connoiseur." A room called Ethan's Dorm Room is west of a room called Dorm Room. Ethan is a person. A person called Ethan is in a room called Ethan's Dorm Room. There is a table in Ethan's Dorm Room. There is a red snapback on the table. Instead of taking the red snapback, say "Ethan says 'Dude, you can't just walk in here and take my trademark red snapback. Help yourself to that really lame blue one over there though.'" There is a blue snapback on the table. It is treasure with point value 1. After taking blue snapback, say "Ethan watches you pick up the blue snapback and nods approvingly: 'Yeah. That suits you. Now scram, I gotta organize the other 300 I brought with me.'" Highland Avenue is a room. "You walk onto Highland Avenue, a street filled with bright-eyed freshmen such as yourself, looking with wonder upon the rest of the U of A campus. To the north, you can see a long stretch of grass with people playing ultimate frisbee on it. To the south, you can see Highland Market." A room called Highland Avenue is east of a room called Dorm Room. Highland Market is a room. "This place is famous among students for their breakfast burritos, or what your older brother referred to as 'the pinnacle of human achievement'. You are kinda hungry. Maybe you should buy one? Highland Market is curiously empty, save for one employee currently standing behind the counter."Highland Market is south of a room called Highland Avenue. There is a counter in Highland Market. Shifty-Looking Highland Market Employee is a person. The description is "This guy is kinda shifty looking, and that apron totally isn't his color. Maybe you don't want this guy handling your food? If your older brother ever told you anything, it was 'never trust a a sketchy looking guy in an apron.'"Shifty-Looking Highland Market Employee is in Highland Market. There is a fresh burrito on the counter. It is edible. The description is "How convenient! The sketchy-looking gentleman seems to have made an extra burrito, and is offering it to you free of charge! You'll have to tell your brother about this serendipitous turn of events." After eating the fresh burrito: say "Your brother wasn't kidding. These burritos are amazing. Before you know it, you've eaten the entire thing. You thank the employee, and walk towards the exit. Somewhere between the counter and the exit, you forget where you were going, and decide to order another burrito while you figure out what you're supposed to be doing. Before you know what happened, you've eaten 20 burritos, and are too fat to move, let alone go to class. Your brother warned you about that freshman 15!"; end the game in death. Mall is a room. "The name of this place is a little misleading, because instead of something awesome like a combination Dairy Queen and Orange Julius or a Sears, there's just a bunch of grass and some guys in tank tops chasing a frisbee around. Between you and the grass, there is a long section of paved road that runs the length of the mall. Across the grass to the north, you can see the Student Union." A room called Mall is north of a room called Highland Avenue. Crosswalk is a room. "Upon walking towards the road, you realize that this area was designed for people to ride bikes on when going from class to class." A room called Crosswalk is north of a room called Mall. Every turn when in Crosswalk: if score is greater than 5 begin; say "Thanks to your sunglasses, you see a biker speeding towards you just in time to get out of the way."; end if. Every turn when in Crosswalk: if score is less than 5 begin; say "Since you forgot to wear your sunglasses, the sun in your eyes prevents you from seeing a heavyset man hurtling towards you on a bike. This is probably going to hurt."; end the game in death; end if. Student Union is a Room. "You are in the center of the campus. The Union contains a food court, as well as a bookstore that you can see to the west. There is a steady flow of students and parents walking through the bookstore doors. I bet you can buy stuff in there. Maybe even some specific stuff you're looking for, but don't take my word for it. Walking north you take you to second street." Student Union is north of Crosswalk. Bookstore is a room. "This place is full of books, as well as hats, sweatshirts, labcoats, notebooks, and calculators, among other things. There is also a Starbucks to the west." Bookstore is west of Student Union. There is a labcoat in Bookstore. It is treasure with point value 3.The description is "This looks pretty radical and scientific. You could probably invent all kinds of awesome stuff if you had this sweet, sweet labcoat. You wonder if they come in other colors. You debate tye-dyeing the labcoat, but then you decide that that would be incredibly silly." There is a calculator in Bookstore. It is treasure with point value 2. The description is "Man, that sure is a calculator right there. You might even be able to do some math with it. Maybe even all the math, if you're feeling frisky. Playing games on it is probably a better idea though." There is a a notebook in Bookstore. It is treasure with point value 1. The description is "You pause for a moment to consider all the notes you could fit in there. Then you remember that your older brother told you that notes are for nerds. You should probably buy one anyway, though. You could draw some pretty cool stick figures in there if the mood strikes you." Every turn when in Bookstore: if score is less than 13 begin; say "You should look for the rest of the stuff on your list."; end if. Every turn when in Bookstore: if score is 14 begin; say "You gather your chosen items, and proceed to pay for them. All this shopping really makes you wish you had some caffeine, and maybe some more money."; end if. Starbucks is a room. "Ah, the mecca of all college productivity. Later in the year, you'll probably find yourself hunched over your laptop in a dark corner of this very place, satisfying your crippling caffeine addiction and typing a midterm paper or two. This Starbucks is fairly normal, with some tables scattered across the room and a large black board listing drink names in what you assume is Italian. Behind the bar and cash register, you see a few baristas leisurely preparing drinks for waiting customers. You place your order and wait until eventually hearing your name called." Starbucks is west of Bookstore. There is a hot coffee in Starbucks. It is treasure with point value 1. The description is "This coffee was definitely made for you, as you can tell by your almost correctly spelled name scrawled along the side of the cup, next to a heart. That barista totally digs you. Totally." Every turn when in Starbucks: if score is 15 begin; say "It's almost time for class, and you have all the stuff on your list. Time to go to Slonaker House for your first class!"; end if. Second Street is a room. "This is a street. It is called Second Street. Off in the distance to the west, you can see Slonaker House. That's pretty much it." Second Street is north of Student Union. Slonaker House is a room. "You made it to Slonaker House, where your schedule says your first class takes place." Slonaker House is west of Second Street. Every turn when in Slonaker House: if score is 15 begin; say "You don your labcoat, snapback, and sunglasses. With the rest of your older brother's suggested items in tow, you enter the classroom and become immediately popular. Your teacher high-fives you and gives you an A in the class immediately. All the other students wish they were as cool as you. You pretty much won at college in one day. Way to go."; end the game in victory; end if. Every turn when in Slonaker House: if score is less than 15 begin; say "You enter your classroom, and find your seat among the 20-odd other students. Everything goes smoothly during the class, but you can't seem to strike up a conversation with anyone or seem to get anyone's attention; even the teacher ignores you. You spend your next 4 years in college alone and unpopular. You probably should have gotten everything your brother recommended. Loser."; end the game in death; end if.